The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

It’s ‘Make My Wife Happy’ Day!

Posted on | November 27, 2010 | 10 Comments

That’s right: Today is the day when readers get to do their part to bring joy to the heart of Mrs. Other McCain.

And as the old saying goes, “A happy wife makes a happy blogger.”

Actually, I just made that saying up.

Same way I just made up “Make My Wife Happy” Day.

Sue me.

What this actually is — and clever readers automatically suspected it — is yet one more desperate attempt to persuade readers to hit the freaking tip jar. Unlike some other bloggers out there, however, I consider it an obligation to give readers extra value for your contributions, to provide incentives for you to kick in $10 or $20 to help pay the bills.

Did I ever mention Mrs. Other McCain looks hot in a bikini?

See? That photo of my lovely wife, taken in 1990, is an excellent example of the kind of high-quality blogging that your generous contributions help make possible.

Because when you hit the tip jar, it makes my wife happy. And when you don’t hit the tip jar, she starts looking at me like, “OK, genius, I thought this blogging thing was supposed to be about making money?” And if I’m not making money, she’s going to expect me to get a job driving a forklift, which would seriously encroach on the blogging career.

If my wife kills me, that might also seriously encroach on the blogging career. Posting this bikini picture in a desperate effort to persuade you to hit the tip jar is dangerous enough. But imagine the deadly rage if I post this picture and nobody hits the tip jar.

She’s got a kitchen drawer full of knives, and I’ve got to sleep sometimes.

So there you have it. Think of our six wonderful children, who might have to tell their friends, “Yeah, Dad used to be a big-time blogger, but nobody hit the tip jar, so now he’s driving a forklift.”

Even worse, think of our kids having to tell their friends, “Yeah, Mom used to look good in a bikini, but now she’s in prison because she stabbed Dad to death in his sleep.”

Hit the freaking tip jar — it’s for the children!

UPDATE: The Rhetorican is trying to help a needy family. I always try to make a joke of my tip-jar rattling excursions, as it’s the only way to disguise my embarrassment at needing the cash. And rather than thinking of it as an appeal to charity, I think of it as a simple fee-for-service arrangement — which has worked out surprisingly well.

Perhaps I should extend this post with a discussion of the economic realities of online journalism. Perhap I should point out that in the 2009-2010 election cycle the three major national GOP committees (the Republican National Committee, the National Republican Senatorial Committee and the National Republican Congressional Committee) raised a combined total of $514,677,390 — more than half a billion dollars. And then maybe I could ask readers to ponder the fact that Charlie Crist raised more than $13 million, mostly from rich Republicans, for his Senate campaign.

Yes, perhaps I should point these facts out to readers, and ask them why Republican donors don’t recognize the potential benefits of supporting conservative journalism that makes a difference.

Perhaps.

But nobody’s paying me to do that kind of analysis, are they?

Hit the freaking tip jar.

UPDATE II: Thanks to Mike in El Segundo, who may have saved me from the stabbed-to-death-in-my-sleep scenario. Maybe.

UPDATE III: Thanks to Chris in South Carolina, Jack in Oklahoma City, Mike in Kansas and Peter in Florida for their contributions. They’ve done their share, and it would be unfair for other readers to mooch off the fruits of their generosity in a sort of blogospheric Welfare State, so hit the freaking tip jar.

BTW, I’ve made an executive decision that “Make My Wife Happy” Day will be extended through Sunday. After all, I made it up, so I can decide when it ends, right?

Category: Mrs. Other McCain

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