The Royal Pair: Why Are You Googling for ‘Kate Middleton Topless,’ You Sick Freaks?

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Traffic to the blog has gotten a slight and unexpected boost the past couple of days because the entire world, it seems, is Googling for nude photos of Kate Middleton or rather topless photos of Kate Middleton. Don’t bother clicking those links, as they are merely a round-trip ticket back to this post, part of Ye Merry Olde Google Bomb Trick.

Donald Douglas has a post cleverly titled “Kate Middleton Topless” and our friendly Evil Blogger Lady offers “Kate Middleton topless photos? French magazine Closer publishes them. Rule 5 Britannia! Update: Reports of outraged Brits storming French embassy in protest!”

It seems that Princess Kate, the bride of England’s Prince William, was sunbathing with her hubby while the couple “enjoyed a mini four-day vacation together last week at a secluded chateau in the south of France” to celebrate their first wedding anniversary.

The royals are pursuing “”legal proceedings for breach of privacy” against the French tabloid that printed the photos, which I will not reproduce here under the professional advice of our Legal Department, a.k.a. Bert the Samoan Lawyer.

However, Bert also advised me that merely viewing the photos — as part of my professional duties to our readership — is perfectly legal, and therefore I can say . . . meh.

A nice pair, a decent natural B-cup, real but not spectacular.

The pictures were shot from an extreme distance with a telephoto lens and thus are rather blurry. Kate’s bikini bottom exposes quite a bit of cheek and she’s shapely enough for a skinny English girl, though once again . . . meh.

Down home, we like ’em with a little more meat on the bone and Kim Kardashian, she ain’t. Sir Mix-a-Lot would not be impressed.

So this is your Obligatory Kate Middle Topless Photo post, and I hope you’re happy with it, you sick freaks.

UPDATE: Kinda weird — Tweeted out this post and got some traffic, but nothing too impressive. Then I Tweeted out a post from last year featuring my hot wife in a bikini . . .

Hot wife in a bikini? #Winning!

37 comments

  8. I am not a prude and I believe that a lot of celebrities open themselves up to this stuff, but I think this stinks. Kate is not a bimbo who tweets pics of herself a la Meghan McCain or Coco. She acts like a lady and exhibits a lot of grace in her daily life. She was on a quiet retreat with her husband. Her privacy was invaded. This was a violation. People who are husbands, or parents of daughters, should know better, and think about how they would feel if someone did this to their loved one and then found others writing about size B cups.

  10. I was especially amused by his smack talk about assuming any visitors from the FBI would be treated as if they were Zeta Cartel members. How’d that work out for you, big mouth?

  11. Erm, I’ll pass on the Google/Bing search, thanks. She’s a lovely one to be sure, and I’d much rather see her threadless than Prince Carouse, but the long-range peeping-tommery alone is beneath any publisher to take advantage of.

  12. (Plus, Egotastic will surely have it on tap, no search required, if curiosity does finally get the better of one.)

  19. The guy has always had a mouth problem. What provoked him was they are threatening to charge his mother with hiding his laptop, federal obstruction is a felony charge.

    So he thought he could intimidate the F-n’BI, eh? Heh. They’ll teach him about that.

  33. If am man, any man that loves the female essence I mean, says he doesn’t like looking at a nice pair of tits …. is a liar.

  35. I love the Royal family, I think this paper who took pictures was totally wrong. everyone deserves there right to privancy no one has the right to invade that. kate and william are people too. and for crying out loud they have feelings too.

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