. . . if I book now for an early February departure from Dulles International, and the connection via Air New Zealand to Bauerfield International Airport in Porta Vila, Vanuatu, would be another $400, so that my basic cost to get there would be roughly $1,600. Expedia offers a low rate of $147 a night at the Grand Hotel and Casino in Porta Vila.
We’ll worry about my return flight later. The key thing is that I must get to Vanuatu as soon as the Jan. 31 Florida primary is over and conduct my research mission, as I explained to Charles G. Hill at Dustbury:
Dear Mr. Hill:
Your interest in U.S. relations with Vanuatu is sincerely appreciated by the Cain administration, and the Shadow Secretary of State asked me to thank you for reminding us of the lack of an embassy in Porta Vila. Rest assured that remedying this “serious foreign policy failure” (to quote the Shadow Secretary) will be a top priority for President Cain.
Meanwhile, in order to further our diplomatic efforts, I am currently researching air travel arrangements to lead a delegation to investigate possible embassy sites in Porta Vila. It is not yet possible to provide a final estimate of airfare (via Brisbane) to Bauerfield International Airport, as the Cain foreign policy team must decide whether to schedule our “fact-finding mission” to depart in early February (i.e., following Mr. Cain’s victory in the crucial Florida primary), in June (i.e., after the primaries are complete), or in September (i.e., after the drunken bacchanalia at the GOP convention in Tampa). Nevertheless, your assistance in this matter is most welcome, and we have provided a special Web site for those wishing to help with the Vanuatu Project.
Thanks again for all you do.
Patriotically Yours,
Robert Stacy McCain
Future Ambassador to Vanuatu
* * * * *
Once I get to Porta Vila — immediately after the rainy season ends in February — I’ll be able to estimate how long this fact-finding mission will take. Choosing a site for the U.S. Embassy is a very serious business and not until that mission is complete will we worry about the return flight. Your help with the Vanuatu Project is profoundly appreciated.
And, of course, our delegation must have the proper supplies:
UPDATE: Welcome, Instapundit readers! It’s always good to have the endorsement of the future Attorney General. And as to the professor’s question about “what could go wrong” . . . .
Well, define “wrong.” I mean, we just sent Special Forces to Uganda. They’re still fighting in Libya and Qaddafi is still at large. The Obama administration has established a new threshold for what’s considered “success” in foreign policy, and it’s low enough that nothing that might result from my ambassadorship to Vanuatu could possibly be called “failure.”
UPDATE II: Linked by Don Surber — thanks! So far, I haven’t had much success with the #OccupyVanuatu Twitter hashtag, but I’m sure it will catch on any day now . . .
PREVIOUSLY:
- Oct. 14: From the Future Ambassador to Vanuatu
- Oct. 8: Memo From the National Affairs Desk to the Herman Cain Presidential Campaign
- Oct. 2: Like Islanders Mystified by Lack of Cargo, Blogger Weeps at Altar of the ‘Lanche God