My friend Steve Eggleston of No Runny Eggs blog fame asked me a question on Twitter:
Read the article for yourself: “[T]he nation’s foremost new media experts from across the country” — a list from which my name is omitted. As I explained three weeks ago:
The list of speakers for this year’s conference includes Erick Erickson and Ed Morrissey — both of whom are far more interesting than me, which is why they’re on the list and that bastard Erik Telford didn’t invite me, just like he snubbed me last year.
I might suggest that readers hit the tip jar, but I doubt you would want me to attend a conference where I am so obviously unwelcome.
Nevertheless — for your sake, dear reader — I just checked Travelocity. Even if I booked a flight today, the lowest round-trip fare would be nearly $600, but it takes three days for money to clear through PayPal after somebody hits the tip jar. This means that, by the earliest time I could get the money in my checking account, I’d be paying a premium for a last-minute ticket Thursday. (Right Online begins Friday morning at the fabulous Venetian Resort Hotel.)
So the only way I could possibly afford to get to Vegas by Friday would be to drive more than 2,300 miles one-way, which would take 38 hours non-stop. That’s 4,600 miles round-trip at 20 cents a mile = $920. And I’d have to leave Wednesday night, bringing along my 17-year-old son as relief driver . . .
But that would be insane. Only a complete lunatic like Bob Belvedere would even dare suggest such a desperate last-minute expedition.
It comes down to this: Are there 20 readers in the blogosophere who would be willing to bet $50 that I’m really that crazy?
Or are there 50 people who would wager $20?
Could there possibly be 100 people who would gamble $10 on the long-shot chance that, sometime Friday, I’d roll up in front of the fabulous Venetian Resort Hotel — unshaven, unbathed, wearing the same clothes I had on when I got in the car Wednesday night — toss the keys to the valet, walk into that conference and shout out, “Where’s Erik Telford?”
Maybe 200 people would pay $5 to see the look on Telford’s face?
Probably not. I’ve been on a long streak of bad luck lately. But maybe I’m due for a lucky break.
