The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler


Posted on | October 31, 2012 | 40 Comments

Ann Romney (center) with Jane Portman and Cindy McCain

At the Vinylmax window factory here, about 150 Republicans — mostly women — gathered for an event with Ann Romney, who was joined by Jane Portman (wife of Ohio Sen. Rob Portman) and Cindy McCain (about whose senator husband and celebrity daughter, we will politely say nothing). And as I was editing the photos, I couldn’t help but say to myself, “Wow. Ann Romney is seriously good-looking.”

Is this superficial? Is this . . . sexist?

Who cares? It’s simply a Neutral Objective Fact. Mitt married a total fox, and the fact that she’s the mother of five sons (and the grandmother of approximately a gazillion little Romneys) does nothing to diminish the importance of Mrs. Romney’s awesome babeness. So . . .

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, the news: Mrs. Romney began by demonstrating to the crowd how to donate to the Red Cross via their cellphones. And then she told stories.

Apparently, the campaign has decided that the candidate’s wife is very good at narrative, so while Mitt’s always talking issues, issues, issues, Ann’s job is to tell heart-warming, humanizing anecdotes about her husband (who, for the sake of journalistic “balance,” must be acknowledged as ruggedly handsome in an executive kind of way).

Mrs. Romney talked abut the process of deciding whether Mitt, who lost the GOP nomination to Cindy’s husband in 2008, would run again in 2012. “I asked Mitt, ‘Is it too late to save the country?'” She then said, “It will be too late if we have another four years of this,” before relating how she told Mitt: “You must run. You have to save the country.”

That may seem like political hyperbole to some, but I consider it a Neutral Objective Fact. America must elect Mitt Romney president, so that his extremely good-looking wife can be the next First Lady of the United States — and I can become the U.S. Ambassador to Vanuatu.

But first things first, eh? As Jane Portman told the crowd: “We’ve got six more days to avoid four more years.” And here are the photos:

Lilly Ann Baker, 7, is interviewed by the local ABC affiliate, while her mother Andrea Baker watches. Lilly Ann is a second-grader at Riverview Elementary, which is kind of young to begin a career as a TV political commentator, but she knows more about Ohio than does Nate Silver.

Ann Romney shakes hands with one of her adoring fans. Let me ask you: Have you seen any stories in the mainstream media about how enormously popular Ann Romney is? Do the TV networks report about how she’s always mobbed by autograph-seekers after her speeches? And if not, why not? My theory is, the biased liberal media are purposely suppressing this news, the same way they’re sitting on the Benghazi story.

Mrs. Romney hands back a child’s boot that she just autographed. This is my favorite photo from today and, by the way, you can click on any of these photos to see them full-sized.

This is a classic part of the campaign-trail experience: TV crews interviewing the locals. It happens at every event from the Iowa caucus campaign all the way to the White House: Some random person is grabbed by a TV reporter and presented to viewers as the “typical voter.” When I see this, I just thank God that none of Mitt’s supporters could possibly be as stupid as Peggy Joseph.

OK, so much for my own snarktastic response. I’m blogging this at Panera Bread — free WiFi! — where we had a working lunch with Ali Akbar, another conservative activist who shall remain nameless, and Ohio blogger Becca Lower, whose headline for today’s event is:

Ann Romney to Red-county Ohio
Families: Help is on the way. Soon.

UPDATE: The science is settled!

Study: Female GOP politicians are
better looking than liberal politicians

Hat-tip to Wright Shumate on Twitter.

UPDATE II: Welcome, Instapundit readers! And this seems like a good time to mention that bringing you the important news from Ohio is possible only because of our readers’ generous contributions to The Shoe Leather Fund. It’s not tax-deductible, nor is it charitable. I’m proud to be a Shameless Capitalist Blogger, and this is just a sort of online expense account that makes possible this bizarre experiment in reader-supported journalism: This has never been done before because nobody else would be crazy enough to try it.

We’ve already logged thousands of miles in campaign-trail travel this year and now, with just six days to go, I remind you once again of the Five Most Important Words in the English Language:





  • Dan Collins

    Man, I hate locals.

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  • smitty

    I thought our editorial position was that Romney was channeling Bruce Campbell, bearing a more refined version of “This… is my boomstick!” at debates.

  • steveegg

    You misspelled Ryan.

  • soccer mom

    You get no argument here.

  • rosalie

    For the most part, Conservative woman are good looking, smart, and genuinely nice people.

  • Mark Byron

    Panera’s had WiFi for ages now, back when it was edgy to have it. Pricey stuff, but a nice atmosphere for working meals.

    Keep sending the good news our way.

  • smitty

    Ryan is the unrefined, yet compelling understudy.

  • Cube

    Hey, wait a minute! This is my neck of the woods we’re talking about.

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  • richard mcenroe

    And he knows what to do with an uppity deer better’n some folks…

  • Michael Kelley

    I remember seeing a picture of George W. and Laura Bush back in the day in an early political campaign. She was a total babe.

  • Paul Lewis

    and I just returned from voting early in Hamilton, Ohio. We were
    stunned when we got there as there, as there had to be over 200 people
    inside the Butler County Board of Elections voting, or in line like us,
    waiting to vote. The line moved fairly quickly as there was quite a few
    voting machines. I asked the fellow that assisted me how busy they had
    been and his one word answer was “swamped” Butler County went to
    McCain by around 44 thousand votes in 2008. If the early voting is any
    indicator. I predict that this county will double that if not more. Oddly enough, there was more voters in line than when we got there.

  • jharp

    Michelle Obama is far hotter and who the fuck cares?

    Romney is behind and is losing ground.

    Nate Silver has Obama as a 4 to 1 favorite to win and Sam Wang gives Romney even less than 1 in 10 chances to win.

    Time to move the party further to right and nominate a real conservative.

    Since Akin and Mourdock are performing so well.

    Many thanks to the teabaggers. We couldn’t have kept control of the Senate without you.

    Long live the Tea Party!

  • jharp

    And if conservatives had had their way conservative women also not have the right to vote.

    And minority conservatives would still be riding at the back of the bus and drinking out of “colored” water fountains.

  • Zumkopf

    What, you mean like those Southern Democrats demanded? (had you an iota of learning, you’d know not a single Republican could ever get elected in the Jim Crow South.)

  • jharp

    “What, you mean like those Southern Democrats demanded?”

    Yep. That’s exactly who I mean.

    And Strom Thurmond and the southern democrats were liberals, right?

    Who is it that needs an “iota of learning’, jackass?

  • Don Collett

    Speed kills, jharp.

  • Joseph

    Young Ann Romney is like an 11/10. Not wonder Mitt Romney only chose to have one wife…

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  • jharp

    “Speed kills, jharp.”

    And the sun also rises in the east.

    I have no idea what you are talking about.

    Peace, brother.

  • bobbymike34

    So Romney has five boys and Obama has two girls. Romney’s wife is beautiful, smart and feminine and Michelle is ………..not. Just being objective.

    Democratic men are just all Nancy boys with domineering wives while Republicans are real men married to real women.

    How can any man vote Democrat. I used to to joke with my brother in law. Would you rather be at a party of Republicans talking about money, football and guns or of Democrats talking about welfare, abortion and gay marriage?

  • sablegsd

    I hope Mrs. Romney isn’t pushing herself too hard.

  • sablegsd

    You perceive that stupid, butt fucking ugly, uncouth, criminal, beard as “hot?” There is something seriously wrong with you.

  • jharp

    “You perceive that stupid, butt fucking ugly, uncouth, criminal, beard as “hot?””

    Not sure “hot” is the right word.

    Lovely and having extraordinary dignity and grace are better terms.

    And her speech at the Democratic National Convention was one for the ages, Friggin knocked it out of the park grand slam home run.

    I am very much looking forward to 4 more years. Get used to it.

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  • Minicapt

    … as with many things, apparently.


  • Wombat_socho

    That would be you, barfbag. Bye.

  • Bob Belvedere

    To be fair though [to the Truth and not to the Troll]: I would repeal the 19th Amendment.

  • Quartermaster

    Yes indeed. That precipitated much trouble.

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  • Linds

    I can be objective and say that Michelle is quite pretty, and she dresses well. Of course, the fact that her wardrobe and several family vacations per year have been extravagant to the extreme — in a time when the rest of the country is scraping to get by — kinda ruins it. Ann seems genuinely nice, and I can only hope to look that gorgeous when I get to be her age! After all those kids, too!

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  • richard mcenroe

    You mean the Democrats who opposed suffrage, right, even after GOP passed it?

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