Posted on | May 24, 2013 | 45 Comments
Some friends have asked why I’m being such a hard-ass about the Kaitlyn Hunt case. Certainly, my personal experience and opinions are relevant to the situation, and perhaps later I’ll discuss the case in terms of my perspective as an erstwhile teenage hoodlum.
No one familiar with Rule Five of “How to Get a Million Hits on Your Blog” could miss the professional interest in a case where it is entirely legitimate to use Jailbait Lesbian Scandal as a headline.
Ouch. Stop. You’re twisting my arm.
This case involves serious matters of law, politics, culture and morality. It also involves journalism bias, with liberals pushing the #FreeKate propaganda of gay victimhood, and it is that aspect of the Kaitlyn Hunt case that angers me most: Stop the damned lies.
So the story engages my interest on multiple levels, and I readily admit that my sarcastic tendencies and tabloid instincts — on the one hand — might appear to conflict with my social conservative stance against the “emerging awareness,” on the other hand. But this is merely an apparent conflict, and the only reason it is apparent is because I’m trying to pull back the curtain and show readers the inherent hypocrisy that practitioners of Serious Journalism would like to pretend doesn’t really exist: They know damned well that Sex Sells, and the more kinky and lurid, the better. And to have Kaitlyn Ashley Hunt — 18 years old, 5-foot-1, 110 pounds — as the “face” of a sex story as kinky and lurid as this one? Yeah, it’s gold, baby.
When the networks trot this story out on Good Morning America and The Today Show, they understand the Rule 5 factor, and the liberal activists understand it just as clearly. That media hypocrisy needs to be exposed by brutally irreverent sarcasm.
It’s important in doing so to make clear that I’m not a stuffy narrow-minded prude. Advocating on behalf of the right of parents to protect their children against moral corruption does not require me to talk like a Baptist deacon addressing a ladies’ Sunday School picnic. Reporters are legendarily rude and profane people, and I expect some of them will be reading this stuff, so readers will excuse me if I speak the native language of the tribe at times.
A friend asked: Am I trying to “crucify” Kaitlyn Hunt? No, she’s quite voluntarily climbing up on that cross — refusing a plea deal that was very generous, all things considered — and I’m merely the minstrel bard telling the tale of her doom. Because she’s cute.
— ConserveTruth12 (@ConserveTruth12) May 24, 2013
— Sirius U. Guise (@vermontaigne) May 24, 2013
Oh, the pretty ones never see it coming, do they?
Everybody Loves a Pretty Girl, and they become accustomed early to smiling and charming their way out of trouble. Never mind who gets hurt, or how unfair it is that the pretty girl always manages to get away with breaking rules that other people have to obey.
Well, from what I’ve learned about this case — have you read the affidavit? — the sheriff and the prosecutor didn’t really want to put pretty green-eyed Kaitlyn Hunt in prison, but she and her indulgent mother got the idea that the rules shouldn’t apply to Kaitlyn.
Let’s see how this works out, eh? My guess is Kaitlyn’s wardrobe for the final scene will be handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit.
And she’ll look hot.
Don’t judge me, haters.
UPDATE: The courageous Teenage Dildo Queen:
If Hunt loses at trial, she faces up to 15-years behind bars.
“Our client is a courageous teenager who is choosing not to accept the current plea offer by the state of Florida.”
Defense attorney Julia Graves advised her client to go to trial, rather than accepting a plea deal by the state.
- May 24: BREAKING: Kaitlyn Hunt Refuses Plea Offer, Will Face Trial on June 20
- May 23: Damn You, #FreeKate Liars! UPDATE: Parents of 14-Year-Old Girl Speak Out
- May 22: Liberals Now Arguing for a Lesbian’s Right to Have Sex With a 14-Year-Old Girl