The Other McCain

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California Broke, Blames Redmond, Threatens #Occupy Road Trip In The Name Of ‘Fairness’

Posted on | February 1, 2012 | 7 Comments

by Smitty

The state of California woke up in a gutter after a two-week bender, to discover that there isn’t enough room left on the plastic to make it to the end of the fiscal year.

“It’s not fair,” said California. “2011 really sucked, and so I partied a little bit over the MLK weekend. Is that really so wrong?

Oh, it’s February? No waaaay! How could all that time have been slipping, slipping, slipping. . .into the future? It’s that evil Bill Gates’ fault: I heard there was a Windows bug that, like, let’s some dude in Bulgaronia hack your computer’s clock, and stuff.

Killer idea, man–road trip! We can go #OccupyRedmond, and show that evil Bill Gates that we’re not putting up with his 1% software oppression.

It’s really not fair that those little computer dweebs who sat at their keyboards all day have managed to bogart all the money, anyway. They should be fair and share.”

Then Oregon said to California: “You know, there sure are a lot of Second Amendment fanatics with an amount of ammunition that some might consider excessive living in the woods here. Not to dissuade you, mind, but I just thought you might find the data point helpful as you consider your options.”

via Gateway Pundit


7 Responses to “California Broke, Blames Redmond, Threatens #Occupy Road Trip In The Name Of ‘Fairness’”

  1. CO
    February 1st, 2012 @ 10:41 pm

    Data points, always some little sticky data point, eh?

  2. Anonymous
    February 1st, 2012 @ 11:13 pm

    “…there isn’t enough room left on the plastic…”

    Meh. They’ll figure out a way to print more plastic. And the voters will reward them for it. Math, how does it work?

    Failed state squared. Plus, CA has seven of the top-ten highest unemployment rate cities in the country, so they have that going for them. I imagine there are a few more cities down ticket that are also bad just to ensure their bonedness.

  3. JeffS
    February 1st, 2012 @ 11:28 pm

    Smitty, when was the last time you were in Redmond?  Last time I looked (a couple of years ago), a bunch of the  California Colonists left their I5 stronghold, and crossed the Cascades to infest the Three Sisters area. 

    I’ll agree with the Second Amendment fanatics assessment.  But the Hippies are already across the range.  Redmond is  blue.  Not as blue as Portland, and maybe closer to Roseburg in hue.  But still blue.

  4. Fortyniner Dweet
    February 2nd, 2012 @ 2:12 am

    Its not a problem.  We don’t need to spend our own money here in the Golden State.  We’ve always gotten by on our good looks and the kindness of strangers, and our world-famous high-caliber ingenious legislators assure us there’s no reason on earth that won’t continue to work for us.    Honest, guv moonbeam swears it’s true.  Would he lie? 

  5. Anonymous
    February 2nd, 2012 @ 6:50 am

    The worst bit is that most voters won’t remember or allow themselves to be reminded about how the optimistic projections made last year set themselves up to fail.  But at least they’ll get to do it all again next year.

  6. richard mcenroe
    February 2nd, 2012 @ 10:11 am

    This is our plan.  When they stampede north to whine at you, we blow the overpasses and bridges and coast roads behind them.

  7. JeffS
    February 2nd, 2012 @ 10:41 am

    I know how to prepare a target folder, so let me know when you start your field recons.