E-Mail From Bert the Samoan Lawyer

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What? You doubt that he’s actually Samoan? What kind of vicious racist hatemonger are you, to doubt Bert the Samoan Lawyer?

It’s impossible to be sure about this Elizabeth Warren/Native American thing but I will bet you …  a Ruth’s Chris dinner the next time [you are] in Alabama that if Elizabeth Warren was listing herself as a “Native American” minority while teaching law at Texas and Penn (in faculty directories) she was using that claim to get preferential treatment in hiring at those places. Remember Ward Churchill? Claiming Native American ancestry is a known scam, especially useful at state universities that are, to put it mildly, obsessed with ethnic diversity in the professoriate. It also turns up a lot with people who want to run gambling operations free of state-law impediments.
In addition, there are about 1,000 contexts in which falsely claiming minority status is a federal crime.
The non-denial denials coming out of Warren’s campaign coupled with the lame attempt to paint Scott Brown as conducting a war on women by calling Warren on this suggest to me that this story is going to have legs. Long ones.
This woman almost became the top cop of the entire financial industry. Maybe she’ll pull a Geithner: “so what if I cheated on my taxes; now I run the Treasury!” But I’m hoping the investigative blogosphere will get on this hard. There is almost no way she could have listed herself as a minority in a faculty directory if she was not doing so on more official documents.

While Bert’s Samoan authenticity is beyond doubt, the Native American authenticity of Elizabeth “Dances With Socialists” Warren is being mocked by Allahpundit, Instapundit, William Jacobson, Moe Lane, Weasel Zippers, Tom Maguire, Mark Steyn, Ace of Spades and Ace of Spades — really, she needed mocking twice by Ace — to say nothing of every talk-radio host within range of a microphone.

Somehow, despite the vigorous denials Harvard Law is issuing to the New York Times, and even though she’s “working on digging up some sort of evidence to appease you,” I’m thinking this “Cherokee Princess” bit is pretty much the nail in the coffin of Warren’s campaign.

Imagine you’re a blue-collar Irish Democrat in Boston. Your kid didn’t get into Harvard, did he? This rich blonde Harvard professor who gets paid half a million bucks a year claims she’s the great-great-grandaughter of Pocahontas or something?

Elizabeth Warren’s Indian name: Loses Like Coakley.

UPDATE: BREAKING: Elizabeth Warren 3.1% Saintly Victim, 96.8% Evil Oppressor

 


55 comments

  2. BTW: I’m 1/16th Cherokee [with proof] and they won’t let me or my brother open a damn casino!

    FYI: Though I wear a shirt and tie, I’m still a Red Man deep inside – just so’s ya know, White Man.

  3. Every con-artist in the world uses some form of leveraging a disorganized organization. If there is dissent in just who is properly judged to be a member of a group and that group is in disarray, with lost paperwork, competing sub-groups or non-existent paperwork, that is a plum ripe for picking by con-artists. Sadly, the fraternity of Con-Artists, Con-Men and Flim-Flam Artists is cheapened by these leftists who attempt to circumvent the time honored traditions (and refuse to pay their dues to the fraternity) and thus cheapen this profession!
    /sarc

  4. Which band? The Nation in OK? Eastern Band requires one quarter for enrollment. Just curious.

  14. They took away our native tongue, and taught their English to our young.
    FYI: The Indians said I was white by law; the White Man always called me Indian Squaw [hey!…wait a minute!!!].

  18. So, Belvedere…does this mean you get cowpie faced on grappa?

    I wish I’d known about this family lore clause: three of my great grandparents were halfbreeds…no proof because no records out in the territories.
    I want a ride to Harvard Law (and a casino…ponies I’ve already got).

  23. Hmmm, too bad my mom sold the family farm already — right next door to a ritzy suburb, would have been a great place for a gambling joint.
    Sigh, missed opportunities…

  29. Oppressor! (come on…you’d make a mint off of her; good business practices Bob!  cash money!)

    I don’t gamble anymore, or drink a lot — make sure to put in a nice coffee machine and allow smoking (my special needs need to be met).

  30. Let’s get serious for a moment.  This has truly been a great laugh for libertaians and conservatives.

    But here’s the problem.  If Elizabeth Warren goes down in a few days, all that does is give the Democrats an opportunity to get a replacement better-vetted, perhaps more credible candidate against Scott Brown. 

    Remember that New Jersey switcheroo they pulled a few years back at the last minute, with that Vermicelli guy?  What was his name? 

    Let’s hope Lizzy hangs in there.  C’mon girl.  Don’t let those evil MEN racemongers force you outta this race. 

  33.  I know; just had to point out the fatuity.  It’s like the old Mexican joke: “Mexico is poor because you gringos stole half our country… and worse, you stole the half with the paved roads!”

    (OK, except for Los Angeles, which we are unpaving as fast as we can ignore the potholes.)

  34. Hey, before the smuggies show up to sniff at us, can someone do some homophobic Native American jokes?  We have a rep to maintain.

    Let me start: Native American Name: “Dances with Other Boys.”

  40. Oh, don’t get me wrong: Anamika can come to the casino, but, unlike you all, she’ll have to pay.

    And, yes, smoking will be allowed – everywhere.

    And I’ll be appearing every night in the Tiki Bar & Lounge.

  41. Make her drink Car Bombs until she hurls her guts out? (hey, kinder and gentler, didn’t you get the new memo?)

  43. Make sure you serve a good veal dish.

    For the privilege of getting to light up in the buffet line I could be persuades to drop a bucks at the blackjack table 😉

  50. WE need to get Bob a casino!  Stat!

    [fyi Bob: don’t let people get a free admittance past the opening day…friends are all wonderful and all, but business is business; you should probably make me the manager…] 

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