It Never Happened, Nobody Saw It Happen, and I Was Never There

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Ben Howe, Moe Lane, Roger Simon, Bryan Preston, Paul Mirengoff, Gabriel Malor, Rob Bluey, Dan Riehl, Ace of Spades,  Mike Flynn, Philip Klein, Jim Antle, Michael Brendan Dougherty, Justin Hart, John Hawkins, Adam Tragone, Alana Goodman, Mary Katharine Ham, Katie Pavlich, Stephen Hayes, Alex Pappas, Byron York, Matt Lewis, Lachlan Markay, James Joyner, Amanda Carpenter, Jim Geraghty . . .

You may ask: “What do these people have in common?”

Answer: They are all notorious right-wing liars.

So if any of them claim they were all together at a “secret meeting” with a so-called VIP Wednesday afternoon in D.C., don’t believe a word of it.

If someone tries to tell you that my phone rang in the middle of the alleged “meeting” and that, while trying to turn off my phone, I knocked over my coffee cup, which spilled in Alana Goodman’s lap . . .?

Lies. All lies.

Also, the thing about Ace calling Dan Riehl a “kiss-ass”? Never happened.

Which isn’t to say that Dan is incapable of ass-kissing – “Oh, thank you and your lovely wife for favoring us with your gracious presence, Governor” – but I’m pretty sure that Ace would have described him as an “obsequious sycophant” rather than a mere ass-kisser, had they ever been sitting next to each other in a meeting with a VIP, which they so obviously weren’t.

Never trust those lying liars. Because they lie.

UPDATE: Thanks to Zilla of the Resistance who, via Twitter, offers this new hashtag: #NotGoodEnoughForRomCon — heh!

To make clear: I officially deny everything.

UPDATE II: The Lonely Conservative is hurt that she didn’t get invited to The Meeting That Never Happened. William Jacobson says: “I would not have gone, so it’s a good thing you didn’t invite me.” Except of course, there was no meeting!

The wild-eyed rumors that such a meeting happened are being spread by Lying Liars Who Lie, and you shouldn’t believe them.

UPDATE III: Bethany Mandel offers helpful encouragement:

I think you are mentally unbalanced. You need professional help.

Thanks! I needed that!

108 comments

  1. @rsmccain For godz sake man, after this much buildup, at least throw in a video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHuXWzxnSU4

  3. Pow-wow with Mitt Romney to get your collective guidance on how best to reach out to conservatives?
     

  6. I’ll credit his sense and his good taste at least: this is virtually the Who’s Who of the conservative blogsphere, with a few MIAs.

    Hopefully, he did some listening to those who might have been in the room had this meeting actually taken place. If you’d been there, you might have been able to tell us.

  7. Well, I didn’t get the promise of an ambassadorship on-the-record, because I officially deny having ever attended The Meeting That Never Happened.

  9.  Need a house boy with a propensity for making wicked vodka gimlets and smooooooth lime rickeys?

  11. You are correct: This would have been an all-star lineup of Right-Wing Liars Who Lie, if there had been a secret meeting, which there wasn’t, and anybody who says otherwise … well, they’re obviously lying.

  15. Seriously, Stacy, you really were there? I didn’t see you. Maybe you saw me, I’m the guy that spilled something in Mary Katherine Hamm’s lap. Then again maybe you didn’t notice that because, uh, well I wasn’t really sitting by her.

  16. Um, wasn’t the meeting supposed to be secret. Why are you outing all the people that were there?  A lot of them weren’t mentioned in the HuffPO article.

  17. Glad to know you weren’t there, Stacy.  Can’t have you hob-nobbing with your conservative brethren or anything…

  18. @rsmccain:disqus I, for one, rejoice that this non-chapter of the non-existent Habitha Tale also includes your non-exclusion from a non-important event.

  19. I’m going to venture a guess on why your left of the invitee list for events buddy, it’s crap like this.

  20. I would hope that any blogger present at such a non-existent meeting would urge the Romney camp to grant 
    bloggers  equal treatment as members of the media in Tampa. In 2008, bloggers had no floor access and were assigned nosebleed seating with no view of the stage. (I had periodical press credentials, so I got to go on the floor and had access to the Diageo hospitality lounge.)

  21. Don’t get your knickers in a twist — obviously this meeting wasn’t that secret, nor the guest list.

    I question why a canidate would have such a sooper duper secret meeting with nearly all the big hitters of conservative blogging (with some interesting exceptions), which is hardly something that would have been that easy to keep quiet anyway, rather than just sitting down to talk to a few at a time.
    Also not sure if this is such a good idea…

  23. You’ll note that none of the non-content of this non-meeting is alluded to, even non-directly.
    Although we can speculate that, if such a non-meeting were ever to occur, the agenda would not feature dog recipes, even as a non-joke.

  25. I’m also #NotGoodEnoughForRonCom, but I long ago gave up any delusions of inclusion in the Kool Kidz Klub.

    And do my eyes deceive me, or were none of the Breitbart brats on the list?

    And… no She Who Must Not Be Named? Oh, the humanity.

  27. There goes hammering Obama with Media Matters/Journolist…

    the left’s spin on this should be memorable…

  35. That’s a lot of trouble to go through, just to let (edit) “A VIP” know it’s a system of tubes.  Just like sausage.

  39. “first order of business: how can we snark around like the MSNBC guys? We’ve got twitter, now we need horn rimmed glasses. remember, we’re not journalists we’re amateur comedians/ assholes”

  40.  We’ll have to have a mix-off some time. If I can get it sponsored by Rose’s, even better.

  44.  Hospitality lounge.  Sounds like a good gig if you can get one.

    Writing, that is.

  50. I was thinking something a bit more mundane…like those sasquatch hunters on TV…but Grail works I guess.

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