Gosh, Kind of a Tough Call Here

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Which is worse, herpes or syphilis? Herpes is incurable, but the ravages of syphilis can be deadly. This is a story about the liberal media, however, not sexually transmitted diseases . . .

You know how, since Day One of the IRS scandal, every liberal on the planet has been saying it’s not really a scandal? So the umpteenth reiteration of the IRS Scandal (NOT) meme was published Monday by a writer for Salon, the Most Worthless Internet Site, Period.

While AOL paid gazillions for HuffPo, and BuzzFeed is now estimated to be worth gazillion-times-infinity, nobody has ever hazarded a guess of the value of Salon.com, a site that has been losing massive sums of money constantly since the days of dial-up modems.

Because there are no other “progressive” sites on the Internet, you see, and if these investors didn’t keep pouring money into that courageous Salon.com, then Newt Gingrich would take over America and suddenly TV would be in black-and-white again, or something.

Nobody ever pays attention to Salon except in the sense of, “Did you see that stupid/gross/utterly wrong thing they published at Salon?”

But why bring up Tracy Clark-Flory at a time like this?

My point is that nobody really pays attention to Salon except gigantic inflatable dildos like Lawrence O’Donnell, who evidently had an apoplectic fit because this IRS Scandal (NOT) story failed to mention that Lawrence O’Donnell invented IRS Scandal (NOT) stories.

This is perhaps a good time to mention that certain progressive bloggers think it’s always necessary to write in the very arch and catty tone that Wonkette and Gawker trademarked circa 2003 back when being a blogger was The Hip Career, before McDonald’s had WiFi.

Call it the Snarktastic mode of discourse. It becomes annoying to adults eventually, because you realize that these people think it’s a signifier of superior hipness, which in turn they imagine is a hallmark of their superior intelligence, as if the ostentatious display of pop-culture references and amped-up attitude — attitude! attitude! attitude! — were a substitute for useful knowledge.

Dude, I can do that, and I’m a 53-year-old father of six with a B.A. from Jacksonville (Ala.) State University. It’s really not that clever.

Anyway, Lawrence O’Donnell, who exudes smug self-righteousness as only the Harvard-educated son of a rich lawyer can, felt that Salon had cheated him of the credit he deserved. As the host of a show on a cable TV network somewhat more popular than CNN — a network with more Al Sharpton, but less non-stop murder trial coverage — if Lawrence O’Donnell said the IRS scandal is not a scandal, this was of tremendous significance to . . . somebody.

Yet this article at Salon.com didn’t even so much as mention him.

Which brings me to the “tough call” referenced in the title, about 450 words ago. Herpes or syphilis? Lawrence O’Donnell or Alex Pareene?

It is a measure of my fathomless loathing for Lawrence O’Donnell that I feel he deserves to be mocked by the execrable Alex Pareene.

UPDATE: One of the relevant facts I omitted:

Also, didn’t O’Donnell develop a bad cocaine habit in Hollywood? Or was that some other leftist douchebag I’m thinking of? There is something especially odious about Hollywood liberals preaching socialism while snorting up tens of thousands of dollars of coke a year.

 

51 comments

  1. “… gigantic inflatable dildos like Lawrence O’Donnell…”

    *wipes coffee spewage off of ipad*

    Snort! Snort! Snort!

  5. The reason I mentioned WiFi at McDonald’s was that at the Dawn of the Blog Age, it was considered so cutting edge for bloggers to do their work on laptops at Starbucks, usually near their apartments in certain gentrifying Brooklyn neighborhoods. You used to see that trope — the young hipster on his laptop at Starbucks — in MSM feature articles about this cool new blogging thing that all the kids were doing.

    And by “all the kids,” I mean all the liberal kids: Twenty-something recent college graduates who hated Bush — the “Juicebox Mafia” type — and who were and are the only bloggers that these MSM feature-profile articles ever bothered to promote. Make no mistake, promotion was the purpose of such articles: Liberal journalists writing puff-pieces about their favorite liberal bloggers in a sort of incestuous politically motivated circle jerk. It was the Bush era, after all, and everybody in the MSM hated Bush, and saw these bloggers as a weapon with which to defeat Bush. And we were too stupid to see what they were doing, right?

    Anyway, WiFi at McDonald’s is the sort of downscale “democratization” that signaled the end of blogging as The Hip Career.

  6. I refer to that “magazine” you speak of as “Hipster Douchebag Central” anytime I link to their front page, and Joan Walsh is referred as “Mother Hen.” Decorum prevents me from saying how I refer to the pair of jackholes named “Alex” who toil in its bowels….

  7. Even if O’Donnell didn’t develop a bad coke habit in Hollywierd, it would be up to him to prove he didn’t.
    The Harry Reid method of journalism can be handy at times.

  14. Beg to differ. I hang out in a very nice neighborhood one with a good crowd that makes a desperately needed change from my toxic and soon-to-be-ended work environment. They’s cool, I’s cool, we’s all cool.

    Hanging out at Starbucks, OTOH, was a manufactured fashion for lemmings.

  15. He’s taken to muttering “I love my wife but Oh, you kid!” in the Senate elevators, if that means anything.

  16. Does this mean there is a proscription of even the mention of StarB__ks*?

    Inquiring minds, and all that…

    *expurgated in case such mention is a pretext for swinging the ban hammer.

  17. Stacy wrote: Anyway, Lawrence O’Donnell, who exudes smug self-righteousness as only the Harvard-educated son of a rich lawyer can….

    O’Donnell’s father was a former cop who became a lawyer, worked his way up the hard way. His old man was a Democratic Conservative, who, I imagine, is spinning in his grave everytime his youngest son opens his putrid mouth.

    Lawrence Senior was a good and honorable man, who took on rouge Boston Police officers in a famous case:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Case_of_Deadly_Force

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