‘Essential’ or ‘Non-Essential’?

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Harry Reid says “no compromise” and, as of this hour, TV talking heads are acting as if a government shutdown is all but certain tonight, which would mean the temporary furlough of “non-essential” government employees, which naturally inspires a few questions:

If they’re not “essential” why did we hire them in the first place?

UPDATE: Don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier:

Could we get the #FurloughJoe hashtag trending?

 

29 comments

  1. Trick question, right? All those gallant civil servants are indispensable. It’s the taxpayers who are expendable.

  4. I’m going to get a little esoteric here…Milton Waddams would be your quintessential paradigm of a “non-essential” employee.

    Bob Slydell: Milton Waddams.

    Dom Portwood: Who’s he?

    Bob Porter: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.

    Dom Portwood: Oh, yeah.

    Bob Slydell: Yeah, we can’t actually find a record of him being a current employee here.

    Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him about it; but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.

    Bob Slydell: So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch.

    Bill Lumbergh: Great.

    Dom Portwood: So, uh, Milton has been let go?

    Bob Slydell: Well, just a second there, professor. We, uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won’t be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it’ll just work itself out naturally.

    Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem is solved from your end.

  7. Joe Biden is the most essential federal employee there is.

    His job is to be there to fill his constitutional role when God strikes down Obama.

    We just don’t know when it will happen, so Joe has to stick around and have someone hold his hand if he crosses the street. I mean, if anything happened to Joe, and God came through around the same time, it would mean President Boehner.

    Heads would explode.

  8. Add the Thousands of Sexual Assailants to the list of nonessentials. Why can’t the air lines handle their own security?
    The unfortunate thing is Obambi will intentionlly cut needed services and keep his cronies in place. its his MO. He won’t change.

  9. Is the White House leader who issued the “stand down” orders for those who might have saved American lives in Benghazi an “essential” or “non-essential” P.O.S.? Wish Ambassador Stevens were still alive to answer.

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