Maybe somebody should start a Tumblr blog called “Getting S**tfaced Drunk at College Parties Is Probably a Bad Idea,” because that’s the kind of advice Lilly at “Survivor Support” needed before she went to college. However, such advice is what we call “common sense,” and Lilly calls herself a feminist, so what’s the use? Feminists hate common sense.
Lilly is taking legal action against Pace University:
Pace University forced the victim of an alleged sexual assault into an investigation, found the alleged rapist not responsible without saying why, and then attempted to require both students to attend a program on alcohol and date rape, a complaint filed with the Education Department claims.
The student who filed the complaint, and who asked to remain anonymous due to the private nature of her experience, received word in July that the department’s Office for Civil Rights would look into her grievance. . . .
The Pace student said she had no intention of reporting the Feb. 14, 2014, incident, but did disclose it to a doctor at the New York university’s health center on Feb. 27 when she went to get tested for sexually transmitted infections. The doctor fetched another colleague, who agreed they needed to inform campus security, who would in turn have to start an investigation, the student said.
“I said I don’t want an investigation, don’t want the police involved at all, don’t want an in-school investigation, but they told me it had to happen,” the student said to The Huffington Post. “I did not want to report my rapist, because it is a very miserable and tedious process in which the victim rarely gets justice.” . . .
After Pace University staff talked to the student in an exam room for two hours — she didn’t feel she could leave — the student agreed to cooperate, figuring that if it had to happen, the investigation might as well be done right, according to the complaint. She submitted a written account of her version of events the following day, and the university issued a no-contact order between the two students involved. . . .
On March 31, Marijo Russell-O’Grady, Pace’s dean of students, told the reported victim and the accused assailant that the school was dropping the charges, according to a copy of the decision letter obtained by HuffPost. The reported victim said she never received an explanation why the school was finding him not responsible. Pace did determine that both students should be required to attend training on alcohol and substance abuse and on date rape.
The extra-judicial process for dealing with sexual assault cases involving college and university students is, on the one hand, required as a consequence of federal policy and yet is, on the other hand, a huge part of the problem that feminists have spent months protesting about, i.e., so-called “rape culture” on campus.
DON’T GET S**TFACED DRUNK AT COLLEGE PARTIES
Does that advice need a “Trigger Warning”? Perhaps it is traumatic to college girls who, despite solid GPAs in high school and high SAT scores, are nevertheless too stupid to understand why college guys want to get college girls drunk. Do I need to draw you a diagram, ladies? Whatever else is going on at these parties, sex is certainly near the top of the list of desired outcomes, so if you don’t want to have sex, don’t go to the party. However, if you choose to ignore that advice, and go to the party even though you don’t want to have sex, there are all kinds of common-sense strategies that smart girls use to avoid misfortune. On the other hand, if you’re a feminist, common sense doesn’t matter, and offering smart advice is “blaming the victim.” So . . . Trigger Warning!
Lilly’s Tumblr blog “Survivor Support” may not offer smart advice, but it does give us insight into what kind of hopeless idiots are being admitted to college nowadays. From Lilly’s “About Me” page:
My name is Lilly and I am 23 years old. I went to college at Susquehanna University for 2 years in nowheresville Pennsylvania. The school was not a good fit for me at all, because I really didn’t like the students or the location. In addition to the school not being a good fit, I was raped three times during my freshman year there.
(Raped three times during your freshman year? How does that happen? We’ll get to that part, but for now keep reading.)
I developed PTSD… and I abused alcohol. My therapist once asked me if I tried to kill myself with alcohol when I told her how much I could drink in a night. I also started self harming. . . .
During my sophomore year, on February 24th, 2012, my older brother died. He had been very ill for about 12 years. He overdosed. He was 26.
I decided to go back to school to finish up the semester after my brother’s death. It was really difficult. My PTSD was through the roof and I was mourning. I was also really suicidal and depressed. . . . I barely did manage to finish the semester. But I did.
Over the summer of 2012, I was hospitalized twice for my depression and suicidal ideation. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks, receiving ECT (shock treatment). I dropped out of college. I took a year off to recover.
(Shock treatment? Six weeks in a psych ward?)
I then transferred to a college in NYC called Pace University. I was having a very difficult time making friends and was very depressed the entire time I was there. I was raped again on Valentines Day, 2014. The school forced me into an investigation that I did not want. My anxiety, depression, PTSD was just awful. I wanted to drop out of school and not finish the semester. . . .
I decided to leave Pace after the semester ended. I am now at another small school in NYC. I study photography and sociology.
I am currently suing Pace University for the forced, botched, and very illegal investigation. My rapist graduated.
Pace University tried to silence me, but I refuse to be silenced. . . .
I am also a very outspoken feminist. I am very liberal. And very political.
I currently suffer from major atypical depression, chronic suicidal thoughts, general anxiety disorder, complex PTSD, and complicated grief. . . .
And I fear men. I actually believe that I am more gay than I used to be. I was bi-leaning-straight, but now I’m bi-leaning-gay. At this point in my life, I cannot handle college. I fear college. So I am taking time off once again.
I am a survivor of harassment, abuse, assault, and rape. I created this blog to help create some form of a community. I wanted to prove to you that you are not alone.
In other words, “You think your life sucks? Ha!” However crazy you may be, Lilly’s much crazier. So there’s that.
Lilly has a page called “My Stories,” but instead of putting the stories in text form, she has uploaded them as images, and I’ll save you time by summarizing these stories briefly.
- LILLY’S STORY NUMBER ONE — Her childhood sucked. When she was 8 years old, her brother developed a serious illness, which was very stressful on her family. Her mother and father fought a lot, sometimes violently, and her father had an affair with a former college girlfriend.
- LILLY’S STORY NUMBER TWO — Her adolescence sucked. She fell in love with Sam in sixth grade, but he rejected her. She contemplated suicide. Beginning in her freshman year of high school, Lilly was “involved with other boys, and girls,” but by senior year, she renewed her romance with Sam. She “almost lost [her] virginity” to Sam, but meanwhile, she found out Sam was “hooking up” with her friend Steven, as well as “seeing other girls.” She “kept asking him if he was gay.” Much drama ensued.
- LILLY’S STORY NUMBER THREE — Her freshman year at Susquehanna sucked. At the start, she met a guy named Brian. They hung out and “fooled around,” but Brian “had a girlfriend . . . and refused to have sex with me, even though I wanted to lose my virginity to him.” So then she started dating Larry, even though Larry “wasn’t really [her] type.” One Friday night in November, she went to a party: “I wanted to get drunk.” Larry was at the party with another girl. After she “had about 4 drinks,” Lilly started dancing with “a tall skinny black guy” named Jeremiah who “was very drunk.” They started kissing, because Lilly “wanted to make Larry jealous.” She told Jeremiah she “was a virgin” and “did not want to have sex that night.” However, they went to Jeremiah’s place, where he took off her pants and digitally penetrated her. “I was fine with this,” Lilly said, “but then all of a sudden” he inserted his penis into her vagina. Sexual intercourse was very painful. Jeremiah kept trying to contact Lilly afterwards, but she was not interested.
- LILLY’S STORY NUMBER FOUR — She was drunk at a frat party and danced with a drunk guy who groped her.
- LILLY’S STORY NUMBER FIVE — At a party, she got “completely wasted” from vodka and “jungle juice” and was dancing with a bunch of guys. She dry-humped a “nice boy” on the couch “in front of everybody.” After the party, Lilly and her friends went “back to the dorms to smoke weed.” She had a very unpleasant sexual experience with a “random guy” named Eric. It was so bad she “actually had to ice my vagina for three days.” Months later, Lilly decided that what happened with Eric was actually rape.
- LILLY’S STORY NUMBER SIX — This is the Pace University rape story. On the night of Feb. 14, 2014, Lilly drank “the majority of a bottle of rum, roughly about 8 vodka shots, a cosmo on the rocks, and a few cups of white wine.” She was with a guy named Rainer, and they “kissed on and off during the night.” She was “heavily intoxicated” and her memory is “foggy,” but she ended up in the dorm bathroom, where Rainer expected her to perform oral sex on him. She complied, but it wasn’t very good for either of them. At a later point, she blacked out and “the rape happened sometime before 3:30 AM on the 15th.” Lilly woke up with “vaginal pain and a a hickey on [her] right breast.”
What can we say of this tale of endless woe? Are these guys — Jeremiah, Eric and Rainer — all equally guilty of rape?
No, none of them are guilty of anything, because you can’t convict somebody of rape merely on the basis of what a drunk girl said happened while she was “completely wasted” or “heavily intoxicated.” If you asked Jeremiah, Eric and Rainer, each would have his own story of innocence to tell and so, without any other evidence, not guilty. Case dismissed.
When drunk college girls and drunk college boys get together, situations like this inevitably occur. What are you going to do? Do we expect that Eric — who saw Lilly dry-humping a guy on the sofa in front of everybody at a party — is going to treat Lilly with courtesy and respect? Shouldn’t we point out also that (a) college freshmen are underage for drinking and (b) they were also illegally using marijuana? “Hey, let’s completely rearrange the world to make it safe for drunk teenage dopeheads,” said no sane person ever.
Let the feminists call me a slut-shamer and a victim-blamer for asking, but does Lilly bear no responsibility at all?
Think about what Lilly says happened with Jeremiah. She seems to have been rather desperate to lose her virginity. She nearly got her high-school crush Sam to do the honors, but no luck there. Then she went to college and wanted Brian to deflower her, but he turned her down. She was willing to settle for Larry, but he showed up at the party with another girl, so Lilly danced with Jeremiah, then went back to his place where she took off her pants and was willing to have Jeremiah do everything to her except vaginal intercourse. Lilly was drunk and naked with a stranger — she had never met Jeremiah before that night — and anybody with ordinary common sense would say that this was a very bad decision.
Ordinary common sense seems to be quite rare on college campuses nowadays, however, and you’ll be called a “rape apologist” if you warn teenage college girls against very bad decisions.
DON’T GET S**TFACED DRUNK AT COLLEGE PARTIES
And since Lilly raises the issue of her sexuality — formerly “bi-leaning-straight, but now . . . bi-leaning-gay” — can we be honest and say she is just lonely, confused and pathetic?
Look, you don’t need a “sexuality.” You need love.
You don’t need an unrealistic crush on a guy who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. You need to have some sense of your own human dignity. You need to get your act together, and stop being so emotionally needy that you’re willing to do anything just to have a guy (or girl) pay attention to you. In short, you need to grow the hell up and at least attempt to conduct yourself like a responsible adult.
Feminist Tumblr is never going to give you that kind of advice, and that’s a huge problem. It seems that young people believe that the only place to get advice is from their peers, including basket cases like Lilly at “Survivor Support.” Never listen to successful grown-ups! Listen to Feminist Tumblr! Because feminists on Tumblr know everything!
Follow their directions closely, kids. Because the one thing feminists on Tumblr know best is the shortest route to Hell.
UPDATE: A predictable reaction:
‘We Need to Get Him Off the Internet’
Feminism tells them that they are never responsible for anything. Therefore, feminists require a scapegoat to shoulder the blame. And what the heck, why not me? Let them screech all they want at me.
Is she a feminist because she is crazy or is she crazy because she is a feminist?
Either way, I get a sober guy can see the crazy in her eyes miles away. The problem seems to be an acute lack of sober guys at the average friday night party on any given college campus.
Agreed. Unfortunately, we not only let these people get away with their lunacy, we outright laud them for it and pillory anybody who calls it what it is.
You’re going to throw your “fan club” into a rage, JV, by making accurate and factual statements like those, that normal people concur with. : )
Like JV. She gets stalked by loons for calling it what it is. Seriously, NOBODY is helped by being encouraged to live a lie, so what are these people thinking? (I ask rhetorically.)
These people see common sense as a “construct of the patriarchy” and thus something to be not just ignored but to be doubled down on to the contrary. Therefore …
Women should be able to go to fraternity parties and drink, no not just drink, but get totally and irresponsibly shit faced while said frat boys choosing to get similarly shit faced must do so responsibly.
I noticed her little Christian bashing pic on her tumblr page. As well as her agenda-driven non-responses. And her narcissistic look-at-me “about” page. Seems like she’s off her meds.
It’s funny how 23 year old lunatics think they know more than psychologically normal, well-educated, taxpaying and socially contributing adults, isn’t it?
H.L. Mencken wrote about this.
The poor thing.
To even begin to deal with her misery, she has to take responsibility. I don’t know if she has that ability.
And some guys like Crazy in their women.
It would be funny, if only it were funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXkF2viFDgU
When I was a college freshman I got drunk pretty often. However, my best friend and I had a rule…if one was drunk, the other stayed sober so we could take care of the other. Getting drunk was stupid, having a plan to stay safe…not so stupid.
lol in real life everyone likes me
It says a lot that these loons follow me around the www and get outraged at my posts . I mean really Im no one
“Feminism requires as its adherents emotionally damaged women who bear a grudge against men.,”
That’s only for full membership privileges. The feminism club offers several associate membership options available to others who support their cause i.e. men, women who are not lesbians etc.
That said, I suspect that “real feminism”, like the Congressional Black Caucus, allows these associate members but don’t allow them any input, they are accepted only as tokens .
Wow. Pretty sure the author needs to learn about something called compassion. same goes for most of the human garbage in the comments section.
As far as I know that’s the law already in all 50 states. Been that way for decades at least. What’s changed (and is still changing) is the willingness of prosecutors and juries to throw a guy into jail purely based on the woman’s recollection of events.
Bit apparently a BIG no one.
😉
It’s all well and good to have compassion for someone, but not to the extent they’re doing so much damage to the people around them. This woman needs to grow up.
You speak the truth, and that seems to be a remarkable thing these days. You don’t mince words, and thus get attacked for it. I do too, and I’m simply not inclined to tiptoe around people who find (usually) impersonal truth and facts hurtful. If a person can’t handle honest discourse, they need to go to their “safe space” and play with their dolls. Or whatever it is that the wussified do in their safe spaces.
I think I’d like you IRL. Mainly because you wouldn’t cry, have a tantrum, or drop to the floor in a fetal position sucking your thumb if I said something you disagreed with.
Frankly, I think you need to grow up. I follow her blog and she’s a decent fucking person and offers help and support to people going through difficult times. She was violated and the school did nothing and she has every fucking right to seek legal action against the school.
If she wanted compassion she would seek it from her friends and family.
Putting herself out to the entire planet on the internet is nothing but seeking attention whether she realizes it or not.
Why would you insist on others playing along with something the subject is too ill to recognize herself?
Topping things off, you insult the several individuals who do see what’s wrong but choose not to buy into it.
If “you were truly compassionate you might take the view that perhaps some of the ‘human garbage” you refer to just cannot see it as you do and thus deserve your compassion.
That’s not going to happen though because you’re a hypocritical c*cksucker but just don’t realize that about yourself (meaning you don’t recognize being the former because the latter is impossible to miss).
You forgot her most important right:
“She has every legal right to broadcast her misery to the entire planet via the internet! “
Violated? She got blind drunk, and then after dry humping a stranger on a sofa in the middle of a party, she stumbles into some other guys room, proceeds to fuck him four times, and then months later decides she was raped? Really? are you so dumb, and irresponsible that you then try to ruin someone else’s life over your fuck ups?
[…] Lilly the Human Train Wreck, the mentally ill feminist Tumblr blogger who filed a federal complaint against her university? […]
Feminism is about exempting women from responsibility. Everything that makes her unhappy, blame the patriarchy.
Hard to have compassion for immature children who stomp their feet and scream “ME! ME! ME!” because the world doesn’t give them their special flower attention. You seem like one of those types.
“I follow her blog and she’s a decent fucking person”
SHE IS A HUMAN CATASTROPHE!
A catalog of helpless failure!
I suppose it is too much to expect you to see that pity is a deadly poison for people like that. By feeling sorry for her, you’re encouraging her to feel sorry for herself, when she is already the most pathetic self-pitying mess.
You’re enabling her, don’t you see?
She really has no idea why the cleared him? She drank a bottle of rum, 8 vodka shots, a Cosmo, and some white wine! How can you even stand after that? She fooled around with the guy all night, then was so drunk she had no idea she took him home, and claims she either totally blacked out, or someone gave him a key to get in. and she turned down alcohol counseling?
I know and I hate dieting
I had more than my share of tragdies and I pretty much love my life. People like her is why I dropped out of grad school. I figured in one session I woud be thowing things at her and yelling grow up.
I need to grow up? That’s pretty amusing.
How many people is she going to trash before you realize where the problem is?
Am I the only one who’s noticed the multiple Catch-22s here? University admissions policies cannot discriminate against the mentally ill, but when their mentally ill students do crazy things, the university is held responsible for the consequences. Universities are required by law to report suspected sexual assault, but cannot violate students’ right to privacy.
So, Lilly drops out of Susquehanna, gets hospitalized for serious mental illness, then applies to Pace University, which is forbidden to say, “No, we’re not going to let this psycho on campus.” Then she goes to Pace and, predictably, repeats the pattern of crazy behavior that caused her so much trouble at Susquehanna. When she seeks treatment at the university health center, officials find themselves more or less compelled to report her claims of rape, but this results in an investigation that (predictably) clears the guy of wrongdoing.
I hate women like this.
They make a career out of always being the victimized, drama queen.
They drone on and on about their misery, their hardships and how horrible their lives are, yet are surprised when they have no friends.
They get sloppy, slutty drunk, do everything they can to have sex with a guy, and then cries rape when a guy, who is also sloppy, slutty drunk ends up having sex with her.
Anybody, who gets raped 3 separate times, in a year, by 3 different guys is beyond stupid.
She claims to have PTSD from it, yet doesn’t want an investigation, and when she’s forced into one, she doesn’t raise holy hell, to find out why they’re not holding her “rapist” accountable.
And the funniest thing is, she thinks she’s a feminist.
This type of woman sets all women back 100 years.
Put down the liquor, take some responsibility for yourself, and stop blaming everyone else for the problems YOU have created.
That is what a real feminist would do.
From Mattress Girl’s porn film, to Lauren Chief Elk and the GiveYourMoneyToWomen hashtag, to Lily and the SJW Tublerinas, to Leigh Alexander and Randi Harper picking a fight with Anne Rice, this has not only been one of the worst weeks in Internet feminism, but it couldn’t be anymore clear that third wave feminism is indeed mass psychosis.
“… but it couldn’t be anymore clear that third wave feminism is indeed mass psychosis.”
It’s the SOCIAL CONSTRUCTION of the GENDER BINARY within the HETEROSEXUAL MATRIX!
And as I predicted ‘cuase just mentioning Thomas A Mix is a capital crime. I’m so not surprised he has a Tumblr blog
I never said 1) that Daisy was a slut 2) that she deserved it; in fact I said the opposite that o one deserves to be raped. But Daisy put herself in a position where rape was the likely outcome. As it turns out she also lied about what happened to her, even her mother now admits that. (BTW note to the stalking loons I always keep copies of my twitter posts)
https://goo.gl/Dkaa62
IRL most people I know agree with me.
Have you seen the #GiveYourMoneyToWomen tag? Third wave feminists become financial dominatrix’a and want money for breathing. Sick people.
Compassion for someone who deliberately ignores sound advice and only listens to people who confirms their pre-existing biases?
Why?
Says it all really
What’s infuriating is that instead of overcoming and dominating these weaknesses, people are wallowing in them.
I always have respect for those who battle their demons. Not so much for those who surrender to them.
Want someone to disagree with you just for the novelty of it? 😀
It’s not going to get any better for the universities. How many lawsuits going on now, filed by angry young men who were run out of town for the crime of a drunken hookup?
(I grant the drunken hookup part is STUPID, but that’s what young people do: stupid things)
Honestly, I hope Paul Nungesser’s lawsuit wreaks havoc on the University of Columbia.
LOL the loons do it all the time i line but just like everyone else in my real life I hang with folks who more or less share my values image that! That is why the troll attempts to incite people from my life is such a dismal failure
Even my ex is a registered Republican who raised fund for the Republican central committee. He knows a troll when he see one
Trolls are best handled with copious amounts of fire and/or acid.
If it works in D&D… 😀
I read about ‘findom’ (financial domination) on the Ralph Retort of all places.
Now look, I’m not going to get pissy about what people do behind closed doors. If your idea of fun involves leather and paddles, fine, be my guest.
But there’s something seriously WEIRD about findom. What the living hell do the guys get out of it?
This Lilly character wouldn’t last five minutes in AA. A decent sponsor would eat her for breakfast.
Speaking of really DUMB trolls this is the thrid person that has been misidentified as me @tradwifey