The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Theme From ‘Cheers’ and Other Fundamental Errors of Reason

Posted on | January 12, 2022 | No Comments

Before proceeding to the main topic of my philosophical discourse, permit me to point out that you can purchase a 7-horsepower wood chipper from Amazon for $619 through our associates program, which pays me a modest commission on all products purchased through our affiliated links, at no cost to you. And you might say to yourself, “What would I do with a 7-horsepower wood chipper?” Trust me, it could come in handy, and I think you might soon decide you need one.

Now, the main topic: Did you ever listen to the lyrics of the Cheers theme song? That popular sitcom ran on NBC for more than a decade, from 1982 to 1993. The Applebee’s restaurant chain has been using that theme song in their TV commercials, although of course it subverts the original idea — a gigantic restaurant chain is not, and can never be, your friendly neighborhood tavern — but the song itself has always seemed to me somewhat problematic. It’s this part that bugs me:

You want to go where people know
People are all the same.
You want to go where everybody knows your name.

There is a word for people who “know” — or at least claim to know — “people are all the same.” We call such people “fools,” because as a matter of indisputable fact, people are definitely not “all the same.”

If you believe in something that is self-evidently false, you are a fool, and anyone with two eyes and a brain can see that people are different.

No two of us are exactly alike, not even identical twins, and the vast disparity in human beings — in tastes and temperament, in abilities and attitudes, whatever metric you choose — is beyond dispute. While all human beings can be said to share certain traits, as a species, the differences are large enough and important enough that only a fool could possibly disregard them. No one would seriously argue, for example, that Charles Manson and Jonas Salk were “all the same.”

This idiotic phrase from the Cheers theme song has always bothered me, as I say, but just today I happened to catch it again on an Applebee’s commercial, which was why I felt a need to write about the fundamental error in this lyric. Also, coincidentally, USA Today ran an article attempting to “destigmatize” pedophilia:

Pedophilia is viewed as among the most horrifying social ills. But scientists who study the sexual disorder say it is also among the most misunderstood.

See? Pedophiles aren’t the problem. No, the problem is you, because you misunderstand pedophiles. You’re an ignorant bigot, and probably voted for Trump. This USA Today article goes on with a lot of reference to what “scientists” and “experts” say. The article endeavors to portray transgender Allyson “Allyn” Walker — who was forced to resign from Old Dominion University because of her pro-pedophile advocacy — as the victim of an “outcry” which, it is implied, occurred only because she/“he” used the phrase “minor-attracted people” to describe pedophiles. But let us imagine, for example, that the university had a neo-Nazi on their faculty; if the neo-Nazi got fired, would USA Today claim that it was just an “outcry” caused by their use of the word “kike”?

Use of the phrase “minor-attracted people” (MAP) is like a dye marker for a dangerously permissive attitude toward pedophilia and, I’d bet you dollars to donuts, this phrase was originated by pedophiles themselves who are very much interested in this project of “destigmatizing” their preferred perversion. Breitbart’s Paul Bois observes:

The article quoted no psychologist or forensic researcher with a different viewpoint on pedophilia – those who might rather characterize it as a severe mental disorder rather than a sexual orientation. It only gives a passing mention that the well-being and protection of children should be society’s top priority when it comes to handling such disorders. Instead, the article keeps asserting the need for treatment, allowing pedophiles to live openly without fear of social ostracization, not accounting for the risks involved.

Yes, the way is being paved to “destigmatize” this perversion by employing the same step-by-step methods by which homosexuality was normalized. First, advocates must undermine any moral objections to the practice, by treating it as a medical condition rather than a sin, which will then give way to arguments in favor of “reforming” laws against child molestation. Finally, the argument will come down to equality — because “people are all the same,” you see — and a majority of the Supreme Court will declare that laws against raping children are a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment. Only bigots will disagree.

The Breitbart article was linked at Instapundit by Ed Driscoll, who also linked a Twitchy post about this USA Today article and, for some reason, people on Twitter keep posting images of wood chippers.

Did I mention, by the way, that you can purchase a 7-horsepower wood chipper from Amazon for $619 through our associates program?

Might come in handy around the house. You never know.