National Offend a Feminist Week 2012

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Did somebody say “War on Women”? OK, we’re not actually anti-woman. More like, anti-Women’s Studies majors. Which is why, for the fourth consecutive year, we are pleased once more to inaugurate this annual festival of fun, quoting the immortal words of our charter:

Hey, sweetheart, when I say “bring me a cup of coffee,” I mean bring me fresh coffee, OK?

Ever since we began this yearly celebration in 2009, it has been necessary to explain that we do not endorse wife-spanking. Unless she needs it.

Most of the time, however, spanking is unnecessary, because our wives know to bring us fresh coffee. That’s why we married them, right? And, of course, because our wives have a sense of humor.

Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. That’s not funny!

Joking at the expense of feminists, however, has become increasingly dangerous. Earlier this year, the Southern Poverty Law Center added “misogyny” to his hate-group listings, so it’s probably a civil-rights violation to laugh at these jokes. And you’re a sexual predator if you talk to an atheist feminist in a hotel elevator.

The empowering message of feminism is that all women are victims.

Victimhood is synonymous with power. To deny women their victimhood is therefore to re-victimize and disempower them.

Don’t laugh: Somebody once laughed at Ashley Judd’s puffy face, and we’ve been suffering from her empowered victimhood ever since.

As usual, National Offend a Feminist Week ends on Mother’s Day Oppressed Victims of Patriarchy Day, when millions of womyn are painfully reminded of what happens when they are deprived of “choice.”

WARNING: If you are offended by images of how women were victimized before they had The Right to Choose, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK!

Gruesome, isn’t it? And speaking of gruesome, Amanda Marcotte:

A lot of conservatives have taunted me personally with assumptions that I’m constantly getting abortions with my slutty slut self, so you can see why people who also believe that Obama is a covert agent might think there’s some secret underground conspiracy of feminists to emasculate men by secretly stealing away the womb fruit that proves their American seed works. The 4 million proof-their-fathers-had-sex-things we call babies born a year are seen as the rare escapees from the pro-choice conspiracy to wipe out all proof of American virility.

Making fun of Amanda Marcotte is simple: Just quote her.

Also, remember that Amanda Marcotte once believed — indeed, she was paid to proclaim — that John Edwards should be elected president. Never mind his disgusting adultery and love-child breeding. What is truly disgusting, Ms. Marcotte informs us, is that Edwards is being prosecuted for misusing campaign funds.

Victimhood is power, remember? Edwards is a victim, and therefore powerful. And powerful men are sexy!

Do you suspect that Amanda Marcotte craves John Edwards’s seed? Will you ever forgive me for suggesting that nauseating mental image?

Speaking of nauseating images: Women gazing with awe at Obama!

Today is Monday, which gives bloggers a full seven days for spitefully mocking feminism and everything feminists admire or cherish. Just don’t forget to link back here, so we can aggregate your courageous efforts. And don’t forget to shop our Amazon Mother’s Day specials, so we can make a shameless capitalist profit from this enterprise.

 

141 comments

  1. “Topeka Destroyer” by The Cowslingers or the infamous song by Rev. Horton Heat the title of which I will not state here because it is so rude, merely that it speaks of alcoholic beverages in the entrance of a bar and a certain card game going on in the back room.

    Actually, just about anything from The ‘slingers  or The Rev. (who were nonetheless a blast to party with), although it’s hard to explain these things to your children later on.

  6.  You fellows are more than welcome to start your own local observance.  Advice from state side is always available.

  7. Naw, just right. Maybe even perfect. For me, anyway. I think me and Stacy might take divergent paths as far as how best to offend feminists, though I like his way too.

  13. Don’t even have to go that far. Just explode their hardwired misandristic brains by being enjoying your time together in public.

  14.  You must be overly-sensitive, out of curiosity I looked him up and read through his discography on Wikipedia, which listed all his recorded songs, and the only thing I saw that might be construed as remotely offensive was an album title Liquor In The Front (Poker In The Back), which is an album title, not a song, unless that phrase is repeated as a line in a song by another title.

  16. Why should you open doors for feminists? A: Beats listening to them scream when you slam it on their fingers.

  26. […] this dusty little blog may wonder, what is National Offend a Feminist Week and how did it start? Well, it begins with a brilliant reporter named Robert Stacy McCain. Let's join! National Offend a Feminist Week 2012 : The Other McCain Our society puts a […]

  35. […] MSNBS anchor Tamron Hall is a sexy woman, even when she is angry and unreasonable, which is likely much of the time. Certainly she is angry and unreasonable in this clip from Stacy McCain.Maybe she is agitated that her guest is not jumping on the media’s tear down Romney bandwagon. Or maybe it is the cumulative effects of National Offend a Feminist Week? […]

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