Elbonese Lesbian Vegan Atheist Open Borders/Global Warming/Abortion Activist Wonders If She’s Too Moderate

by Smitty

Leaning on her plug-in hybrid car of indeterminate make, under the tsunami of bumper stickers and hand painted flowers, Doremifasolatido If sipped her venti, triple-shot non-fat, sugar-free, cinnamon dolche latte with whip, and heaved a sigh. “I’ve got to keep finding new things to protest, or risk sliding into complacency. Moderation is for conservative losers.”

She tapped her iPod to life, screen light reflecting off of a face with more metal in it than shrapnel in that of a soldier in close proximity to an IUD burst. “Here’s this rumor that Mitt Romney was actually fathered by a Vulcan. Can we protest that, or would xenophobia contradict the call for open borders? It’s easy to be against everything when you’re small, but when you’re a big-time activist, you can find you’re protesting yourself.”

Things had been hard for If since splitting with Edina “Butch” MacTungsten. “We got in a tremendous fight over Rachel Maddow, and whether characterizing an obvious joke as a gaffe was a new form of stupid”, she said, running a tattooed hand across her shaved scalp, straightening her mohawk. “Oh, well. I’ve got to get on the road to my next paid protest. I’ll be glad for this election to get over, so that I can get back to serious work, like protesting Dick Cheney’s Pacific Ocean Trash Vortex.”

Update: linked by Hogewash.

Update II: linked at Daily Pundit.

Update III: more linky-love at The Camp of the Saints and Soylent Green.