Category: humor

Let’s Try To Help Hah-vuhd Further Beclown Itself

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by Smitty

Via the Blaze, word of the new course you can take:

According to the Harvard course catalog, “Understanding Obama” is taught by the president’s longtime mentor Charles Ogletree. Here’s how the course is described:

This reading group will focus on the way in which race, religion, and politics have impacted the development of President Obama as a leader. We will explore his views as a biracial child, his time as a student at Harvard Law School, the successes and failures of his political campaigns, and the way religion and his views on faith nearly derailed his campaign. Finally, time will be spent analyzing the challenges he faces as President of the United States in establishing both his domestic and global policies.

This blog would like to extend a joy-buzzer wielding hand to the Yahd, with a few other course suggestions:

  • Just Deconstructing the Difference Between Social Justice, Racial Justice, and Plain Old Justice-Justice

    This applied Alinsky lab course will help successful Community Organizers take their game to another level by offering practical off-campus learning experiences. Students will take field trips to other states where tragedies have occurred and apply advanced propaganda means to scuttle the truth and substitute alternate narratives in its place. The capstone project will involve simulated fomenting of a race war.

  • Barack Obama’s Startling Intellectual Sports Mastery

    This course will help equally nebbish students understand that the real arena for sports is in the mind. It’s quite alright to be a mediocre basketball player, a general embarrassment on the golf course, and stand accused of throwing like a little girl in your mom jeans. This course will nevertheless give you the chops you need to sound Cosellian in your sporting erudition, while you feel like a triathlete about yourself. Pre-requisite: Stuart Smalley 101.

  • From Voodoo to Doodoo: Postmodern Economics

    This course is about applied prevarication using bogus statistics, non-Tuftian displays of quantitative information, and euphemisms for currency inflation. Students will disregard facts with a nihilistic regard for reality and truth, and instead focus on the pseudo-optical discipline of public rectal solar projection. Guest lecturer “Zimbabwe” Ben Bernanke is back to offer fascinating, opaque insights into how an audience can be both enriched and beggared, as he simultaneously fills students with ‘knowledge’ while sapping the value of their specie.

Update: linked at Daily Pundit

Call Me a Cynic

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My initial reaction to this story was “Book Deal, Movie Rights,” and I’m sure the Hollywood agents are begging her to sign:

A Texas newspaper has fired staff reporter Sarah Tressler after she was exposed — by a competing paper, natch — as a stripper. Tressler, who has a bachelor’s and master’s degree, worked as a society reporter for the Houston Chronicle and taught as an adjunct professor at the University of Houston. But for eight years, she also worked at upscale strip clubs.
Sarah Tressler blogged about stripping at “Diary Of An Angry Stripper,” writing articles like “Customers To Avoid List” and “10 Things You Should Know Before You Date A Stripper,” and tweeted from @AngryStripper. Yet she told “Good Morning America” that she never assumed she would be “outed” by anyone because it seemed “like such a mean thing to do.” (Houston Press, the paper that exposed her, said they only did it because it was a “good story.”) After getting canned by the Chronicle for not revealing the job, Tressler is now working as a teacher, and is also still stripping. . . .

My secret blog, “Diary of a Man-Whore,” never got many readers.

Go figure.

But I’m sure Tressler’s new career as a teacher will turn out as well as it did for that Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader, right?

UPDATE: Almost forgot to hat-tip Instapundit. If Sarah Tressler doesn’t get a movie deal out of this, maybe she can fill in for Professor Reynolds next time he goes on vacation.

No Mohawks for Jefferson

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Longtime commenter T.R. Sterling sends along this news item as fair warning for my redheaded son:

Derrill Rockwell told police he grabbed his rifle, the .22-caliber he kept handy to kill rodents around the house, about 5 a.m. Oct. 5 and walked outside to confront it.
The bird.
Possibly, he told police, the same fowl he suspected of harassing his cats recently around his home near Orchard Mesa Cemetery.
It was red, sitting at the top of a hill about 90 feet away from Rockwell.
“His intent was to spook it away,” Deputy District Attorney Jason Conley told District Judge Richard Gurley on Friday.
Rockwell shot once but said he didn’t see the bird fly away. Soon after, he heard a woman’s voice, moaning in pain. Rockwell discovered a 23-year-old woman, with a large red mohawk, with a gunshot wound to the head. . . .
Six days after the shooting, Rockwell told . . . police detectives . . . he fired the weapon after confusing the woman’s red mohawk hairstyle for a distant bird.

BREAKING: Dick Cheney Refutes Rumors That He Lacked A Heart

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by Smitty

Fausta pointed me to a WaPo article:

An aide to Cheney said he had been waiting for a transplant for more than 20 months and does not know the identity of the heart donor.
“Although the former vice president and his family do not know the identity of the donor, they will be forever grateful for this lifesaving gift,” aide Kara Ahern said in a written statement that was authenticated by several close associates of the former vice president.
Cheney was recovering Saturday night at the Intensive Care Unit of Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Va., after surgery earlier in the day.

Hopefully Cheney can recover and get back out on the road with Dread Zeppelin without breaking this heart too quickly:
Is that Troglopundit on lead guitar?