The punch lines write themselves — “WHAT DID BIG BIRD KNOW AND WHEN DID HE KNOW IT?” — but of course, this isn’t a joke:
The man who voices the puppet of Elmo on Sesame Street has taken leave amid allegations he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy.
Kevin Clash, 52, has taken a leave of absence from the popular children’s show after the programme’s lawyers were contacted by a 23-year-old man who claims he had a sexual relationship with the puppeteer seven years ago, when he was aged 16.
TMZ, who reported the allegations, said that Mr Clash had admitted he had a relationship with the man, but only after the accuser was an adult and said the accusations were both false and defamatory.
‘I had a relationship with [the accuser]. It was between two consenting adults and I am deeply saddened that he is trying to make it into something it was not,’ said Mr Clash . . .
So, Elmo admits he’s a gay Muppet who pursues sex with men less than half his age, but insists that he scrupulously avoids sex with those who are under the age of legal consent, so that the day before your 18th birthday, you’re strictly off-limits, but the minute you are legally an adult, you’re fair game for the Furry Red Humping Machine.
Such lofty moral standards . . .
If you can’t marry that muppet, then you clearly have no civil liberties whatsoever.
Seems like I vaguely remember when I was a kid back in the early sixties, stuff like this never made the news. Neighborhood Dads would get together and take care of the problem, IYKWIM.
Well now we know why Harry Reid loved Sesame Street so much!
No wonder the Democrats like Big Bird so much.
[…] Well, it has come out in the news that Elmo likes to do a little tickling of his own. Here’s Robert Stacy McCain’s take on it; The punch lines write themselves — “WHAT DID BIG BIRD KNOW AND WHEN DID HE KNOW […]
“so that the day before your 18th birthday, you’re strictly off-limits” Depends on the state. Most states its 16. So depending on where this happened, it might not be criminal though it is very sick.
[…] Other McCain: …the day before your 18th birthday, you’re strictly off-limits, but the minute you are legally an adult, you’re fair game for the Furry Red Humping Machine. […]
[…] myself and leave you to decide, if you believe Clash’s version of events, what you think of gay men who wait until their love interests turn 18 before swooping in.Tweetvaso linkgoogle_ad_client = "ca-pub-1395656889568144"; /* 300×250, created […]
I blame Bert and Ernie.
If PBS doesn’t do it, who will?
[…] Other McCain give us the shocking details of what he calls a Furry Red Humping Machine The man who voices the puppet of Elmo on Sesame Street has taken leave amid allegations he had a […]
Between Niceklodeon and PBS, it looks like TV really IS harmful for children….
Scalia, Lawrence v. Texas, prophet.
Maybe Newton SS Minnow wuz right.
The Tickle Me kids product this year is a plant that closes its leaves when you Tickle It. You gotta love nature
http://www.ticklemeplant.com
[…] you haven’t heard about the gimcrack Elmo story, please check out Stacy McCain’s report here. I feel most sad for the young children who like […]
“… but the minute you are legally an adult, you’re fair game
for the Furry Red Humping Machine.”
Very professional. Just had to have a smidge of immaturity and rudeness in this article somewhere.