The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Dear NYPD …

Posted on | September 30, 2011 | 47 Comments

NYPD resisted the temptation to kill this Commie douchenozzle

Permit me to praise you, courageous officers of the New York Police Department, for your admirable restraint in dealing with the smelly Marxist scum currently infesting your city.

While I haven’t previously bothered to grant any underserved publicity to the vermin involved in the “Occupy Wall Street” protests, I did notice some accusations of “police brutality.”  For a few minutes Sunday, I wrestled with a sudden and nearly overwhelming urge to write an article recommending Medals of Meritorious Service for any NYPD officer who billy-clubbed or pepper-sprayed one of those protest pests.

My notorious tendency toward sarcastic hyperbole was resisted, however, until today Moe Lane linked an article by a progressive blogger praising the anti-capitalist creeps.

“The protesters are what you’d expect, a kind of hippie dippie group of students, anti-globalization activists, and antiwar movement actors. . . . They believe themselves to represent all Americans who are frustrated by politics and finance. Whether or not this is true, what is happening is that there is a belief that their actions matter, that they themselves are moral beings who have dignity and power simply by the very act of self-expression.”
Matt Stoller, “former Senior Policy Advisor to Rep. Alan Grayson and a fellow at the Roosevelt Institute”

What super-human willpower your officers have hitherto exerted is now so apparent that I am compelled to send you this note of praise.

Also, speaking on behalf of decent Americans everywhere, I wish to offer in advance my sympathies for whichever member of your riot squad is the first to break under the unbearable strain. We hope the NYCPBA has provided counseling to officers struggling against the temptation to engage in the “very act of self-expression” by whipping out their 9mm Glocks, emptying the magazine into these advocates of “civil disobedience,” re-loading with a fresh clip, and continuing to fire for effect so long as there is ammunition available and fresh targets in sight.

However, there is only so much that can be accomplished by psychological counseling, and not even the iron discipline of the NYPD can forever suppress the basic instinct that will, I know, finally unleash the pent-up fury the hard-working men and women of your force must feel toward the “Occupy Wall Street” protesters.  Whether the result is merely a few hippie skulls busted by baton-wielding officers or, as I greatly fear, something more like the Ohio National Guard’s historic 1970 victory over Viet Cong sympathizers at Kent State, I just want to say to the officers involved in the unfortunate incident: We understand. We care. We’re here for you.

Sure that I speak on behalf of a grateful nation, I remain

Sincerely yours,
Robert Stacy McCain


47 Responses to “Dear NYPD …”

  1. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:10 pm

    Their restraint really is remarkable.

  2. ThePaganTemple
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:16 pm

    I think there might be some Paultards there too.

  3. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:17 pm

    Thank you very much for keeping up on stories like this and the death of al-Awlaki.

    Meanwhile over at RedState, they’re posting about Sarah Palin having not yet decided every hour on the hour, as if the world isn’t going to hell while they’re obsessed about her.  I signed off that site for the day because, as I put it, I wasn’t going to feed their ‘masturbatory fantasies’.

  4. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:28 pm

    You’re not the first person to call this to my attention. I’m biting my tongue, for now. Like many of Governor Palin’s supporters, I have been exasperated by the will-she-or-won’t-she waiting game. However, until we have her answer, I’ll refrain from comment, either on her apparent indecision or on Red State’s unnecessary mockery.

  5. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:28 pm

    You’re not the first person to call this to my attention. I’m biting my tongue, for now. Like many of Governor Palin’s supporters, I have been exasperated by the will-she-or-won’t-she waiting game. However, until we have her answer, I’ll refrain from comment, either on her apparent indecision or on Red State’s unnecessary mockery.

  6. The Underground Conservative
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:39 pm

    They are all-in for Rick Perry over there, which is their right. But they’ve been just as guilty as the Cocktail Party GOP as using the same mockery of Sarah Palin as the Hate Left.

  7. Michael Wiley
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:46 pm

    I (heart) the NYPD.

  8. Quartermaster
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:46 pm

    Why the obsession on “Paultards?” Do you realize it makes you look like more of a moron than you think they are?

  9. JeffS
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:47 pm

    You forgot tasers, Stacy.  They have the undocumented feature that one can cut the wires after the installed battery is dead, and reconnect them to any convenient car battery.

  10. Michael Wiley
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:49 pm

    Robert Stacy McCain & The Underground Conservative, note —

    “Red State” has been renamed “Red State 4 Perry” for weeks. They are corporate owned and co-oped.

    I have no trouble with Sarah Palin taking her time. As it turns out, neither does Donna Brazile, as she wrote in June 2011:

    “Palin can wait until the last possible moment to officially file her intent to run. Others who have already filed or are looking to file need to start developing traction-generating strategies now. However, Palin has both name recognition and the ability to quickly raise the funds needed to pull together a massive organization in the key early states. This media-savvy political professional can decide when it is the right time for her to file. “

    Note also: Sarah Palin has never officially stated that she will make her decision on X date. The speculation and conjecture as to a particular date has been by those spicing and slicing her words to extract a date only later to disappoint anyone who bought in to the conjecture. Of course, the media and “conservative” blogs have fanned the flames.

  11. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:53 pm

    I was halfway-in for Perry, myself. But that was back when Perry’s pair of eights looked like a good poker hand.

    When the board turned up A-K-J-2, perhaps RedState might have stopped pushing more and more chips into the pile?

  12. Joe
    September 30th, 2011 @ 4:57 pm

    As a kid I used to go into the city all the time to buy concert tickets to scalp.  I would wait on line at 7:00 a.m. or so, buy tickets for shows I thought would sell out and pe popular, and sell them back at high school for well over face price.   I cut school all the time to do it (this is before the school administrators started to demand mandatory attendence).   The better the seats the better price you would get.  These were in the days concerts were not priced so high (bands toured not to make money but to promote albums that made money–now bands make most of their money touring). 

    But I digress. 

    When a New York cop told you to do something, I quickly learned to pay attention and do it.  You would see some 16 year old mouth off to the cop and he would ram him in the stomach with his night stick (to add insult to injury he also lost his place in line).  I saw it happen dozens of times.  Of course, no YouTube, no cell phones with camera or video.  I quickly learned being polite was a very good idea with the NYPD.  So I was never on the receiving end of it. 

  13. Finrod Felagund
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:03 pm

     I appreciate your restraint.  Me, I’m not so good with restraint sometimes.  I used to be very hesitant to criticize RedState, since I’ve been there pretty much since they started (I signed up July 2004), and I have met a lot of good people there, but in this calendar year things have taken a turn for the worse there.  They may not have jumped the shark yet, but the motorboat is warmed up and they’re strapping the skis on.

  14. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:24 pm

    In that analogy, Erick Erickson is Fonzie?

  15. The Monster
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:26 pm

    The correct term is “Ronulan”, of which the most strident are the “Paul Shiar”

  16. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:31 pm

    Is there a preferred detergent for use in water cannon?

  17. ThePaganTemple
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:34 pm

    Maybe you’re right, maybe I shouldn’t paint all Paultards with the same broad brush, its unfair. Some Klansmen and Nazis are actually quite intelligent, just technically speaking. Then again, a good many tend to be about as dumb as the 9/11 Truthers, and you are judged by the company you keep.

  18. Christy Waters
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:34 pm

    As a conservative Deadhead and 25 year concert-goer (over 200 and counting), I would also like to commend the NYPD for resisting the nagging temptation to beat the everloving crap out of these numbskulled hippies. In addition, special kudos to them for having to endure the nasal assault of body odor and patchouli.

    “Vermin” is a very appropriate word for these wretchedly coddled ingrates, and I call on the protesters to give up their iPhones, laptops, gaming systems, and any of the trappings of capitalism that have made their lives so soft! Decry the evils of capitalism, while enjoying the fruits of it… That IS the definition of hypocrisy.

    I have a love/hate relationship with hippies… I LOVE their music, and HATE their politics!!

  19. ThePaganTemple
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:37 pm

    Did you ever have any run-ins with that fool Art Chance? When I heard he got banned from there it made my day. If I had known how to get in touch with him I would have taunted him over it. I think they got mad because he supported Lisa Murkowski over Joe Miller.

  20. Finrod Felagund
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:40 pm

     Yeah, except that EE was never as cool as The Fonz.

  21. Finrod Felagund
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:49 pm

    I knocked heads with Art many times over the subject of Sarah Palin.  It was my theory that he hated Palin because she messed up the good ol’ boys club that he had gotten in with.  He ultimately got banned from RedState for 3rd-party advocation (going to work for Murky).  Art did write a number of good things about how to take a government system designed and built for Democrats and make it work for Republicans, though.

  22. TC_LeatherPenguin
    September 30th, 2011 @ 5:52 pm

    Bronx borne; Staten Island reared. I learned at an early age, via various uncles and older cousins that were cops, that “YOU ARE NEVER RIGHT UNLESS A JUDGE SAYS SO.  So keep your smartass yap trapped when a Blue tells you what to do.”

  23. JeffS
    September 30th, 2011 @ 6:00 pm

    Hydrochloric acid.

  24. ThePaganTemple
    September 30th, 2011 @ 6:22 pm

    Man, he was murder. He got me kicked off Red State for a diary entry I wrote where I proposed Sarah Palin as the head of the RNC. This was right about the time when Michael Steele was being pressured to resign, but was still holding on. When I posted my diary entry, under the screen name Independent Pagan (or something like that) he hit me so hard with his merry band of trolls, I thought I was being attacked by Democrat trolls, and so I responded in kind. I didn’t realize he was in tight with Erich Ericson, and then the next thing you know I’m hit with the ban hammer. I couldn’t even get on the site, let alone post. That ban was finally lifted, and now he’s gone, and as far as I’m concerned Ericson did the right thing, albeit he waited far too long.

    Your theory about his reasons for hating Palin is closer to the mark than you might suspect. He was actually, at one time, a high official of Governor Murkowski’s Labor Relations Board. He was basically a connected political thug. He used intimidation tactics just short of threatening the lives of troublesome labor leaders, and may have even crossed that line for all I know. Since I have no love lost for union leaders, its hard to fault him for that, but unfortunately he seems to be the kind of guy who has no trouble using questionable tactics against any perceived opponent, including Palin and her supporters.

    I’ve often wondered if he wasn’t one of the unnamed sources for Joe McGinniss’s book.

  25. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 6:43 pm

    I stopped reading Red State long ago, since the only reason to go there was Moe Lane (who understands the real apocalyptic  threat we face, CASE NIGHTMARE GREEN) and he crossposts all his RS stuff to his own blog anyay.

  26. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 6:43 pm

    The Monster wins; thread over.

  27. Adjoran
    September 30th, 2011 @ 6:50 pm

    It would also help if they would bathe occasionally.

  28. Adjoran
    September 30th, 2011 @ 6:52 pm

    No, in this version Potsie gets the ski jump.  The shark likes his chances.

  29. Adjoran
    September 30th, 2011 @ 6:55 pm

    There’s just something about the sound of a wooden nightstick when it hits the sweet spot on a leftist rioter’s head.  TTTHHHHWWWAAAAAAAACCCKKKK!

    I love the smell of tear gas in the morning . . .

  30. Joe
    September 30th, 2011 @ 7:44 pm

    I always liked Paulistinians too. 

  31. Joe
    September 30th, 2011 @ 7:45 pm

    Paulistinians works because they are both equally pig headed. 

  32. Joe
    September 30th, 2011 @ 7:46 pm

    Red State has its own agenda.  It is not necessarily the same as the conservative agenda. 

  33. CalMark
    September 30th, 2011 @ 8:34 pm

    As for enjoying the fruits of the system they condemn:  Right on!

    If they’re working, they’re part of the system.  If they’re not working, they’re being supported by the system.

    If they hate the system that much, they need to leave the USA–most of us like free markets—-and move to a Workers’ Paradise.  Like, say, Cuba.

    It may not be comfortable, pleasant, or even bearable–but they’re the ones who want to martyrs!

  34. Patrick_A_NonnyMouse
    September 30th, 2011 @ 9:31 pm

    ” … what is happening is that there is a
    belief that their actions matter, that they themselves are moral beings
    who have dignity and power simply by the very act of self-expression.”   ”

    I had thought that tantrums and feces-flinging indicated something OTHER than “dignity and power”; but then again, I was raised in a more genteel era.

  35. Anonymous
    September 30th, 2011 @ 9:52 pm

    Have you ever actually been gassed?

  36. ThePaganTemple
    October 1st, 2011 @ 1:19 am

    I prefer to save that for “Romneylan’ for Mitt Romney, mainly because he looks like a fucking Romulan. Paul looks more like one of those weird little creatures from Deep Space Nine. That would probably really piss him off, seeing as how they were supposedly based on Jews and what not.

  37. David
    October 1st, 2011 @ 2:08 am

    The funny thing about that Kent State incident is, as P.J. O’Rourke pointed out, a lot of those National Guardsmen were avoiding Vietnam by joining the Guard. So you basically had draft dodgers shooting hippies. Also, as O’Rourke pointed out, the bigger tragedy was that the rest of the students were allowed to live. LOL.

  38. Tennwriter
    October 1st, 2011 @ 2:55 am

    We could download SCORPION STARE into the traffic cameras near the Democratic Convention.  That level of dedicated insane faith is very likely to bring through something unwholesome.  Granted, we’d end up medusasizing several thousand Dem delegates, but this is not the time to gamble with TEOTWAKI, IYKWIMAITTYD.

  39. Anonymous
    October 1st, 2011 @ 4:08 am

    I like the cut of your jib, sir, to say nothing of your taste in literature.

  40. Anonymous
    October 1st, 2011 @ 4:10 am

    I remember getting a snootful of CS during basic training at Fort Leonard Wood. Cleared up the sinus infection I had toot suite.

  41. The Underground Conservative
    October 1st, 2011 @ 4:28 am

    I prefer Roasted Paulnuts.

  42. Finrod Felagund
    October 1st, 2011 @ 6:11 am

    One of my more oddball ideas is that Art Chance should be the Chief of Staff in the next Republican administration.  The federal bureaucracy needs a political thug like Art to go in there and give it the thrashing it so richly needs; I wouldn’t expect him to be able to survive more than a year to a year and a half in a job like that, but he wouldn’t care if the Left demonized him, cause he’d just retire to his boat in Alaska when he resigns.

  43. ThePaganTemple
    October 1st, 2011 @ 12:15 pm

    Yeah, Art Chance would definitely do a good job from a technical standpoint, but the only problem is he would spend more time attacking conservative Republicans than he would Democrats. If you wanted to give him a job where he could do the most good while doing the least amount of damage, make him Secretary of Labor. People think Chris Christie tough on unions, shit Chance would make Christie look like a big pussy. I can see him now, even without really knowing what he looks like, leading a group of armed thugs toward a picket line, all armed with crowbars and bats.

    Hell, it would almost be worth keeping the Labor Department open for a few years.

  44. ThePaganTemple
    October 1st, 2011 @ 12:18 pm

    Probably the bigger tragedy was that none of the Kent State University teachers or staff was rounded up and presented with the gift of a one way ticket to North Korea.

  45. Christy Waters
    October 1st, 2011 @ 3:03 pm

    Found this. Thought it was hilarious.

    NYC: Anti-Capitalism Protesters Attempt To Protest NYPD, Crowd Gets Lost Marching To Its Headquarters…

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