Announcement: S.A.L.V.E.

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by Smitty


Shameless Acts of Literary Vandalism and Entertainment is surely the Publishing Event of June 19, 2012! Collected in one tidy package, and available just in time for West Virginia Day, you can now spare yourself the toil of navigating to 45 different URLs, and instead have a handsome, consolidated unit for your entertainment needs. You can settle the age-old question: Is this thing better employed as the target, or the missile?

Featuring an introductory essay/mea culpa/mercy plea from Robert Stacy McCain, S.A.L.V.E.breaks new ground where wiser heads see thin ice. Birtherism is far too tame, as S.A.L.V.E asks:

  • Could the Secretary of State really be the President’s mother? (OediPOTUS Wrecks)
  • Could co-bloggers sustain a Samuel Beckett riff while sending up Obama’s stimulus program? (Waiting for O-Dough)
  • Can you make a post-apocalytpic road trip in an obscure Sean Connery vehicle? (Czar d’Oz)
  • Do infamous forgeries and pulp horror mix? (The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU)

Critics being critics, they have come after the author with tar, feathers, a live cattle prod, and a Dremel:

  • Simón Bolívar: Smitty needs calibration by my ‘infinitely firm hand’.
  • Kurt Schlicter: If this book was any better, it’d be as good as mine.
  • The Taco Bell Chihuahua: Yo quiero, barf-o bag!
  • Tywin Lannister: I’d sooner have a crossbow bolt for a laxative than this.
  • Khal Drogo: I, for one, would prefer a molten crown.
  • George W. Bush: Me? I’m heading to the Pike Place. . .Market.
  • Meddle: One of these days, I’m going to cut Smitty into little pieces.
  • Frank J. Fleming: Easily the second most important conservative political humor book of all time. Barring most others.
  • Severian: Were Smitty my client, I could offer him a thousand remedies.
  • Rutherford B. Hayes:
  • Larry Niven: Smitty should be decked by the long arm of Gil Hamilton.
  • Smaug: I’d like to light up Smitty’s life.

I hope that the critical blowback doesn’t reach Mrs. Other Smitty’s photo site. She was gracious enough to donate the cover photo. This is available on CreateSpace.com right now, and will be available via Kindle whenever the unspecified blockage that keeps getting it kicked back from “in review” to “draft” is alleviated. Not that I’m bitter or anything. Not me. Nope. Any readers who have a point of contact within Amazon are welcome to chime in.

Update: Thanks, Fausta!

23 comments

  3. Smitty, upon clicking the link it said I needed to log in or sign up and make an account to view your masterpiece, and so i did sign up and log in, but when I click the link to see your glorious work, it just takes me to my own blank dashboard. Am I doing something wrong?

    ETA: OK I got there from Fausta’s link and it worked. Now if some people will hit my tip jar so I can spare a few books towards such a worthwhile purchase, I will eagerly order a copy!
    Congratulations on your new book, Smitty, may it be a huge success!

  5. Please try again. I had the management link, not the storefront link, though it still may require a login.
    I’m waiting for them to finish the Kindle version.

  20.  Let  the High Priests decry my blasmephy! I dare them to decry my blasmephy. Van Adl is but a wisp of smoke and nothing more. Easily corrected with an EDITRIX.

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