The Despicable David Brooks

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Once upon a time, David Brooks Fisking Day was celebrated here every Tuesday. The New York Times‘ token “conservative” column was so predictably wrong about nearly everything — his political instincts are so bad — that I had to lash him around every week just to relieve my system of the excess bile generated by reading his pretentious bulls–t. At least twice, circa 2007-2008, I walked out of events where Brooks spoke; the experience of being in the same room with him was intolerable. Once, a fews years ago, I found myself in a discussion with Jonah Goldberg as to which New York Times columnist was worse, David Brooks or Thomas Friedman. Goldberg insisted Friedman was worse than Brooks, and I suppose it’s a matter of opinion, but in my opinion, Goldberg is wrong. Friedman may be demonic, but David Brooks is Satan.

“Brooks should never be argued with — he should be mocked, and often, and by someone who knows how.”

Why do I hate David Brooks so much? Because I am a populist, a Jacksonian who believes that the American people deserve a government that serves their interests, and not the interests of a decadent elite. All elites eventually become decadent and corrupt. This is what history teaches, and our country is being ruined by the sort of people David Brooks rubs elbows with during his annual pilgrimages to Davos, deracinated cosmopolitans with no loyalty to anything, devoted to no principle except the increase of their own wealth, status and power. The comprehensive wrongness of David Brooks eventually became so glaringly apparent — about the time he expressed his admiration of Barack Obama’s pants creases — that everyone realized he is Satan. Once his diabolical wrongness was universally acknowledged, everybody with a blog got in on the Brooks-fisking game, and I lost interest in the sport. Nowadays, it takes a really spectacular exercise in Brooksian douchebaggery to get my attention, and he delivered such a specimen earlier this week:

Donald Trump now looks set to be the Republican presidential nominee. So for those of us appalled by this prospect — what are we supposed to do?
Well, not what the leaders of the Republican Party are doing. They’re going down meekly and hoping for a quiet convention. They seem blithely unaware that this is a Joe McCarthy moment. People will be judged by where they stood at this time. Those who walked with Trump will be tainted forever after for the degradation of standards and the general election slaughter. . . .

OK, let me interrupt this to make an important announcement. I hadn’t been planning to do this, but I now officially endorse Donald Trump.

If David Brooks hates Donald Trump, then it is my duty as a patriotic American to love Donald Trump. And if David Brooks says the fall election will be a “slaughter” for Republicans, this means Trump will win. And now let’s return to the total wrongness of David Brooks:

The suicide rate has surged to a 30-year high — a sure sign of rampant social isolation. . . .

(No, the high suicide rate is caused by the existential despair of Americans who understand that Barack Obama has destroyed their country.)

A record number of Americans believe the American dream is out of reach. And for millennials, social trust is at historic lows.
Trump’s success grew out of that pain, but he is not the right response to it. The job for the rest of us is to figure out the right response. . . .

(Who is “the rest of us,” Mr. Brooks?  Clueless douchebags on Pinch Sulzberger’s payroll? The people you hang out with in Davos?)

I was surprised by Trump’s success because I’ve slipped into a bad pattern, spending large chunks of my life in the bourgeois strata — in professional circles with people with similar status and demographics to my own.

(Which is to say, clueless douchebags.)

It takes an act of will to rip yourself out of that and go where you feel least comfortable. But this column is going to try to do that over the next months and years. We all have some responsibility to do one activity that leaps across the chasms of segmentation that afflict this country. . . .
Up until now, America’s story has been some version of the rags-to-riches story, the lone individual who rises from the bottom through pluck and work. But that story isn’t working for people anymore, especially for people who think the system is rigged. . . .
We’ll probably need a new definition of masculinity, too. There are many groups in society who have lost an empire but not yet found a role. Men are the largest of those groups. The traditional masculine ideal isn’t working anymore. It leads to high dropout rates, high incarceration rates, low labor force participation rates. This is an economy that rewards emotional connection and verbal expressiveness. Everywhere you see men imprisoned by the old reticent, stoical ideal.

You can read the rest, but I must warn you that reading David Brooks columns can lead to existential despair and suicide. Honestly, I’d rather read Third Wave feminist theory textbooks. At least feminists are honest about hating men, hating America, hating God and everything else.

What is so despicable about David Brooks is his condescending attitude, his insuperable conviction that he is better than the rest of us, more intelligent and sensitive — all that “emotional connection and verbal expression,” you see. And as he departs on his tour of the American hinterlands, ripping himself out of the “bourgeois strata” to leap across “the chasms of segmentation,” I hope David Brooks gets what he deserves, namely to be beaten to a bloody pulp by a tattooed redneck.

This would be a triumph of social justice, really and it’s not hard to imagine how it would happen, either. Probably at a Waffle House.

“Hey, buddy, you look kinda familiar,” says the truck driver, while he’s paying at the cash register. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“You’ve probably seen me on Meet the Press or PBS Newshour,” says Brooks, who has been sitting at the counter, studying the menu and wondering why there’s no espresso. “My name’s David Brooks.”

“Well, doggone it, I thought so,” laughs the trucker. “I was just thinking to myself, that fellow looks like he writes for New York Times.”

“Thanks,” says Brooks, taking this as a compliment.

“So I guess you’re out here covering the election?” asks the trucker.

“No, actually, I’ve decided to leap across the chasms of segmentation that afflict this country, to mingle with the common folks in an effort to discover why men are imprisoned by a stoical ideal.”

“Oh, really?” says the trucker. And after listening patiently to Brooks prattle on about his ideas, the trucker will gesture toward the parking lot. “You ought to come take a look at my truck. It’s a fine one.”

After he accepts this invitation, David Brooks will probably be surprised to discover that his tour of the parking lot includes an old-fashioned stoical ass-whupping, and maybe the trucker will be prosecuted for assault, but really, who could pass up such an opportunity?

Oh, there’s a reason I always walked out a room whenever David Brooks walked in. Restraining my Jacksonian populist urges requires conscious effort sometimes, and it’s best not to risk an assault charge.

Look what he’s made me do here. I’ve endorsed Trump for pure spite. The worst thing David Brooks can imagine is Donald Trump winning the Republican nomination, but what would be worse for Brooks — what he cannot even imagine — is for Donald Trump to be elected president.

Let us rekindle our Jacksonian spirit, America. Let us ignore the advice of David Brooks and ask ourselves, “What would Old Hickory do?”

If we cannot punch David Brooks in the nose — and I apologize to my readers for having passed up the chance when I had it — then what can we do to fulfill our duty to our children and to our nation’s future? How can we avenge the numerous insults that David Brooks has heaped upon us? How can we escape the condemnation of future generations if, knowing that we had a moral obligation to do the exact opposite of whatever David Brooks said we should do, we did not do it? Our honor is at stake, you see.

David Brooks, a foul stain on the history of American journalism, has thrown down the gauntlet and challenged us to prove him wrong. He has predicted “general election slaughter” for Republicans as a consequence of Donald Trump winning the GOP primary campaign, and declared: “People will be judged by where they stood at this time.” Will people stand with David Brooks? Will people join this supercilious punk in his determination to see Hillary Clinton elected? God forbid!

However crazy it seems, we cannot say it is impossible for Donald Trump to be elected president, and if it is possible to elect Trump, then we are obliged to do all we can to make this happen, if only because a victory for Donald Trump would be a defeat for David Brooks.

Don’t blame me for this. Blame David Brooks. And, also, Satan.

But I repeat myself.





 


264 comments

  1. Your giving Brooks too much credit. He doesn’t have the wit or ability to be Satan.

    He’s more like Satan’s Penis. A demonic member to be used and abused while being mocked by those surrounding him.

    He looks like he’s playing pocket pool with himself anytime I’ve seen him.

    That smug smirk of his needs to be wiped off his face with a Knight’s armored glove. You know the ones with spikes at the knuckles.

  3. He’s never had political power before. We KNOW what Hillary will do with it. She’s had it and shoved it up America’s Ass. Every chance she’s had.

  6. But electing Hillary is the worst outcome. Trump may not be that bad and at least we can be sure that when the left attempts to thwart him he’ll go ballistic. And who knows Maybe Susan Sarandon is right, after all we can’t have a counter revolution unless there’s a revolution.

  7. Not that I’m buying into the Trumpsters aurguments that we need to nominate the person with the most votes but I will categorically dispute that ”The nomination system never has worked well.”

  8. We need a new definition of masculinity?

    I think not.

    What we really need is to go back to the PREVIOUS definition of masculinity, before it was used to describe effeminate queefs like David Brooks.

  9. I can understand that.

    But one of the Great Unspoken Truths in American politics is that the common folk must never be allowed to pick their own candidates all while operating under the illusion they have a voice.

    That’s why the parties exist.

  11. The problem with Brooks and others of his ilk is, as you note, the inherent belief that if people were smart and successful, they would be ensconced east of Appalachians somewhere between the Potomac and Cape Cod, or west of Coast Range between San Francisco Bay and San Clemente. We see it in all areas of endeavor: Envrionmentalists who’ve never visited a national park; Presidential candidates who cannot find Boise, ID on a map; the list goes on and on. The sad and terrifying thing is that such attitudes presage the destruction of the republic.

  13. I find if one agrees too much with David Brooks, one must re-assess and consider their position flawed. But even a broke clock is right twice a day.

    I am not #NeverTrump. I could vote for him (in theory) but so far he has not convinced me to do so. So I will not (although I am paying attention). I could never vote for the witch Hillary, so I am definitely #NeverHillary. I doubt my participation will sway this election so, oh well.

    I suggest if you support him you go ring some door bells and send him some $$$. I am going to pass for now.

  14. If Trump fails, the next iteration (Town Hall….Tea Party….Trump) of Reform is going to be significantly more ruthless, and likely violent to a degree.

  15. The problem has always been that there were too many conservatives vis a vis the squishy liberal/moderates as in 2012. The conservatives , when there are any, always knock each other off thus producing Doles, Bushs, McCains and Romneys. With the exception of Reagan’s successful coup in 1980 there hasn’t been a conservative nominee since Goldwater and before that since Coolidge. I had been under the misconception that under the right circumstances we could get a conservative nominated and elected. Here’s where I was wrong, the electorate in the Republican party and the nation generally will not vote for a conservative, at least not when there is a squish available. We can’t get a conservative into the WH. This of course has been the plan all along, which is why I submit that the lone exception of Reagan the ”primary system” has been working exactly as intended.

  16. True. What evidence is there, though, that Trump has the capacity to treat it any different than the way he runs his businesses?

  21. Shame on you, Stacy.

    Trump is a thousand times more dumb than Brooks could ever be.

    #NeverTrump

  22. I’d rather have Hillary run the country into the ground than Donald. At least then the GOP won’t get the blame for it.

    #NeverTrump

  25. Oh, it’s not that simple, but yeah, I have to admit I get a thrill flipping those people off.

  28. Yeah, I have to be honest, I’m a cynic about these things and he could wind up pushing the same economic and trade policies as Clinton, and doing nothing to shrink the size of government, but, at least there’s scan R he’s different than Clinton, and for that I’d vote for him. Would you support Trump if he faced Sanders?

  30. I understand not liking Trump, but why would anyone want to give the Democratic Party another four years to screw things up? I don’t think the country can handle it? Or maybe the country can’t handle either candidate and this is really the end of America as we know it?

  31. Might I recommend this “Brooks flogger”, as used by Mr Jackson himself.

    We are having an election here in Oz at the moment where the choices between the 2 main parties are this.
    1: The bloke who pledged loyalty too, then organized the factions that overthrew the 3 leaders before him.
    2 The bloke who overthrew the leader of his party AFTER the election and has done nothing of note since.

    Oh and the election budgets of both are making ‘repayments on government debt” our biggest spending item.

    Believe me when I say, I feel the pain of the “not Trump” brigade.
    Its like you are rewarding behavior you abhor to vote for some candidates, yet you also know the vermin on the other side will see themselves rewarded if they win.

  32. He should ride the No.5 bus where I’m from 8 hours a day for a month. He’ll meet reality right quickly and say Trump is far too soft. Maybe a few weeks hanging out at a check cashing place would do the trick too.

  34. The last time we elected a businessman that wanted to raise tariffs to the Presidency was Herbert Hoover.

  35. Donald Trump is the King of Saying Unreasonable Things.

    If you can’t see that, you’re blind.

  38. Then why in bloody blue blazes would you want to nominate the candidate that polls behind Hillary in Utah?

    Nominating Trump elects the Democrat. Anyone who doesn’t realize this is too dumb to vote.

  39. At this point, I’d say that with Clinton and with Sanders, we know exactly what we’ll be getting, and it doesn’t take a genius (just a non-Communist) to know what the outcome will be for the country. The ONLY advantage Trump has at this point, is that he’s a crap shoot and nobody knows what he’s gonna do. He’s stupid and thoughtless, that’s for sure, but his stupidity could be greatly mitigated if he chooses to surround himself with a bunch of Constitutional conservatives. And especially love bomb SCOTUS with some.

    I’d say if I even bother voting and I don’t literally write in Deadpool, lol, then I have no choice but to vote Trump, but I will be literally puking in my mouth in a major way, and making audible gagging noises, while I do it.

  40. To a large extent he can’t (because above comment) just as Eisonhower couldn’t run the Government as he did the military, something he struggled with at times. Now if by ” that Trump has the capacity to treat it any different than the way he runs his businesses?” as in what it reveals about his character etc., great question. We just don’t know. On the other hand we most definitely know how Hillary will run her ”business”. While Trump is getting outside his usual business, politics, for the purpose of aggrandizing power,for the purpose of selling influence, for the purpose of picking winners and losers in every aspect of American life. That has always been Hillary’s business, perhaps to a greater extent than even Bill. In what way are we supposed to fear that Trump will be worse than Hillary? One could give Trump the benefit of the doubt. Doubt as to whether he has the county’s best interest at heart or that he means to do what’s best for the country. No intelligent person has any doubt to give Hillary the benefit of.

  41. There will come a point where it becomes obvious that the system is so broken that it can’t be fixed at the ballot box. Trump is just the next-to-last bid for peaceful resolution.

    If his American nationalism fails — which is likely, given the resistance from black supremacists and Mexican separatists — then peaceful white nationalism is next.

    And if that gets shut down by the globalists in charge, then the nationalists step aside, and the ultras step forward. Entirely predictable, same as it ever was.

    So I’m supporting Trump, in the faint hope that he can actually stop that dynamic in its tracks. Because I don’t want to see this nation purified in fire and blood.

    I mean, that sounds very poetic and all; but it tends to result in men shot, women raped and kids hungry. No sane man wants war, so the multicultis must be crazy.

  42. Actually, electing Sanders would be the worst I think; even worse than a combination of the worst policies of Carter and Obama. Even worse than if Boehner became President.

    Can’t we elect Captain America? I’d like to have Captain America as President, and especially CIC. And have him toss his shield at Pelosi, and mainly, Alan Grayson.

  44. Trump is what the Establishment got after kicking the Tea Party to the curb. After demonstrating their contempt for a respectful law abiding reform movement they have no grounds to object to a guerrilla movement with less decorum.

    Trump’s movement (not the man himself) represents ordinary people saying “Okay, we asked nicely and you called us racist rubes, took our money and then ignored us. This time we aren’t asking nicely. Next time we won’t even ask.”

  45. I understand the impulse to ignore it all, drop out and say “to hell with you all.” I could practically do it now, being retired and living in rural America.

    As for Trump’s supporters, he has brought out the obnoxious impulses of far too many people. But since our ruling class has marginalized, insulted and ignored those people I can understand the big upraised middle finger his candidacy represents to them. As I read elsewhere online, “Trump” is only one syllable, “Eff you” is two.

    Our coastal elites have brought this upon us all with their arrogance and hatred of those outside their enclaves. As for David Brooks and his ilk, I would pay money to see them choke to death on their own blood. In a fire.

    But I am far too polite and discreet to actually express that urge. So keep it between the two of us, all right?

  46. I came across this over at AmSpec. Col Bob did good on this. Says all we need to say about Trump.

    “If we must have an enemy at the head of government, let it be one whom we can oppose and for whom we are not responsible”

    -Alexander Hamilton

    I was watching Trump and things have congealed for me after enduring the last 60 minutes reading the Branch Trumpidian’s insanity over at AmSpec. I won’t pull the lever for Trump.

  47. It’s quite possible that Trump is a DNC false flag operation. Against that is the fact that Debbie Wasserman Schultz could not outwit a retarded Cocker Spaniel. Of course, DWS is the perfect figurehead for a cabal of people with IQs above room temperature, she’s so dumb you could show her the Sooper Dooper Topp Sekrit Plan and after staring blankly at it for a moment she’d say “So who wants to go to Dairy Queen? I’ll drive!”

    However, if after the election, Trump gives us all the horselaugh and says “Ha! Psych!” it will probably lead to blood in the streets and cities on fire. If so I’ll sit on top of my ridge inventorying my ammunition and waiting for the straggling refugees from Seattle and Olympia. I’ll shoot the men (such as they are) and spare their women for breeding stock and to toil in the fields. Yeah, I could be a warlord in the grim dark post apocalyptic wasteland that is our inevitable future. I got lots of ammo and a camo hat.

  48. Utah is Mormon. Immigrants, dual citizens, and people with otherwise divided loyalties are both American and non-American at the same time. So, pro-Americanism is both pro-them and anti-them at the same time, which hurts their brains with cognitive dissonance.

    Mormons fall in the latter category; because of their hostile history with the U.S., they don’t fully identify with America. So an America First movement will always send them into a tizzy.

    This also explains why a number of prominent Jewish-Americans have had full-blown hysterical meltdowns over Trump, while Jews in Israel are fine with him, and he got a good reception at AIPAC. That psychodynamic doesn’t happen to those with clear priorities.

    But you can imagine how many states that voted for Obama are full of Already-Americans who are starved and parched for someone who will put them first. So don’t give me this crap like we’re “too dumb to vote” when you clearly haven’t thought through all the implications.

  49. But Brooksie is fun to fisk and RSM hasn’t had a good old fashioned fisking of Brooksie in quite a while.

  50. That’s why I’d rather see the Dems go with Sanders than Hillary. I think he’d have a much harder time dealing with Congress, even if it swings back over.

    And at this point I have little invested in “saving” the Republican Party. Third parties only work in the US once one of the existing Big Two self destructs (that’s how the Republicans began and why the Bull Moose and Reform Parties never got off the ground). We can’t just say “Fine. I’ll go Libertarian” until it can actually be the second party in our two party system and not a spoiler.

    So if that’s where we are, take it out behind the barn and put a bullet in it.

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