Ashley Judd (D-Puffy Face)
So declares Ace of Spades, and connoisseurs of fine sarcasm must join Ace in mourning this tragic news:
The much-rumored 2014 campaign by film star Ashley Judd for the Kentucky seat of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell will not happen.
No more Puffy Face to mock? No months of endless lunacy as she compares everything to rape? Alas, we have been robbed:
A source close to Judd said that Secretary of State Allison Lundergan Grimes’ interest in potential race made the decision not to run easier. “The timing just wasn’t right,” said the source. …
Democratic Senate strategists have argued that Judd would be a good, if unconventional candidate, pointing to her ability to rival or even eclipse McConnell in fundraising. But McConnell’s path to victory involves savaging his opponent, and Judd’s status as an actress and celebrity would have offered him loads of ammunition.
Loads. Loads and loads. And now . . . nothing.
I feel so let down. It’s like some kind of assault or something.
Dare I say … RAPE?
You’re not going to have Judd to rape around anymore.
Puffy face, I love you
Puffy face, I need you
My whole world’s wrapped up in you
When the road I walk seems all uphill
And the colors in my rainbow turn blue
You kiss the tears away
You smile at me and say
“Puffy face (puffy face) I love you”
Puffy face, I love you
Puffy face, I need you
These are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard
Puffy face, don’t leave me
Puffy face, believe me
My whole world’s wrapped up in you
And when I hurt your feelings as I sometimes do
And I say those mean things that we know are not true
You forgive my childish way
You hold me close and say
“Puffy face (puffy face) I love you”
Puffy face, I love you
Puffy face, I need you
These are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard
Puffy face, don’t leave me
Puffy face, believe me
My whole world’s wrapped up in you
Puffy face, I love you
Puffy face, I need you
These are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard
Puffy face, don’t leave me
With apologies to Brian Blade, Greg Cohen, Adam Dornblum, Brian Eno, William Frisell, Jon Hassell and of course, Donna Fargo
Heh.
Wait. They actually used the word “ammunition”?
GUNISTS!
But we have a huge body of her film work to study her body (prior to the puffy years).
You need to put that to music and do a youtube. It would go viral.
Spunky KY Dems rally around hot new candidate! http://tinyurl.com/dynn7g4
Richard Reed liked this on Facebook.
Damn it. Now I know how the Jews in Auschwitz felt. This is just like being trapped in the WTC on 9/11.
Puffy Face? What about Rotten Smile McCain? Was there really a feud with Stranahan over who had the better smile once Lee got his new dentures? Gross, all around!
[…] We have been robbed. […]
What did she have done to her mug?
As we have it above she has taken on “Loads. Loads and loads.”
She sure doesn’t have a pretty mouth.
[…] We have been robbed. […]
[…] We have been robbed. […]
[…] We have been robbed. […]
[…] Judd Won’t Run For Senate Ace of Spades, Stacy McCain hardest hit POLITICS Obama Names Julia Pierson As Secret Service […]
So instead of Judd, we get Alison Lundergan Grimes, current Kentucky Secretary of State and daughter of Clinton buddy and former Democrat party chair Jerry Lundergan.
Gotta love cronyism at its finest.
You realize this is our own fault. We should have pulled a McCaskill on her. Talked about how worried we were about her fundraising abilities and how she was the most viable liberal available. Now the comedy gold is gone.
[…] Of course, I am being dramatic, kinda like Ashley herself when she compares EVERYTHING to rape, but I do feel violated by her decision NOT to seek the Senate seat from Kentucky. I mean think of all that blogging gold that has been taken from me? Ashley Judd was not just a Tree of Low hanging Blogging Fruit, she was a grove! Now all that is gone what will I do? And what of Stacy McCain, who has just seen his dream die? […]
Congratulations to the “Bone Collector” Karl Rove and the rest of the gang at American Crossroads.
Knockout punch!
Bingo!
You left off the /sarc command [I hope].
[…] Robert Stacy McCain distraught over not having Ashley Judd to kick around anymore, the least I can do is to give you a scene from the day job she’s not […]