The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Announcement: The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU

Posted on | February 14, 2010 | 4 Comments

by Smitty

Now it can be revealed!
At the 2010 World Economic Forum, a tiny cabal, the people behind the people behind the people, broke off for a separate meeting, in which their diabolical plot for world conquest was laid out for a dozen chosen ones.
No YouTube; no .jpg; no audio; a mere hardcopy transcript which has fallen into our hands for a quick edit and shameless re-transmission to warn people of the danger. Fear.
Stay tuned as Porch Manqué Productions rolls out, at the rate of four installments per day, the transcript of the meeting of the Human Union and the Committee To Harmonize Universal Law:
The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU…

As is our policy, we try to get copies of our work out for initial feedback. PMP is proud to have a popularity track record that makes the approval rating of the POTUS seem relatively good. Just doin’ our part!

  • Alan Turing: In Smitty’s case, it is impossible to distinguish whether he is an idiot or a piece of software posing as an idiot.
  • http://dogfirelake.comRaaaaacism!
  • Ramtha: Such dreck is the antithesis of the purified self. Smitty appears in the grip of a sad self-hatred. Spirit can turn this around, but someone must pour the spirit out of the fifth.
  • http://doglakefire.comThe Right-o-Sphere can never, ever again question the sanity of Charles Johnson or Andrew Sullivan. Not after this.
  • Juan de Fuca: There were many diseases faced by early explorers. It would be helpful to introduce Smitty to them.
  • http://lakedogfire.comWho knew such unspent hatred, mixed with congenital ignorance, could produce such unmitigated dreck?
  • Warren Harding: A debacle nearly as severe as the formation of the Soviet Union.
  • http://lakefiredog.comWe blame Stacy McCain for what will, without question, be seen as the worst blog atrocity of 2010. Unless Smitty writes again.
  • Elric of Melniboné: If my weakness was not of Biden-esque proportions, I should use Stormbringer on myself rather than read this.
  • http://firelakedog.comThis is really some kind of scheme to force tip jar hits, isn’t it? Some blatant, mindless form of a request for hush money?
  • Oscar Goldman: The next time the Bionic Man needs to go on a suicide mission, we’re sending Smitty instead.


Previous forays into the lungs of farce:

Serious Notes:

  1. Sergei Nilus was a bad man. The act of publishing Protocols of the Elders of Zion as fact, and the subsequent evil useage of that writing, lowers a distasteful act of racism to the level of the diabolical.
    This writing employs “The Protocols of the Meetings of the Learned Elders of Zion” by Sergius Nilus, 2003, University Press of the Pacific.
    Stripped of the asinine anti-Semitism, the book reads like drunken crib notes from Macchiavelli. Anything in this series appearing as a blockquote is from the UPP edition.
  2. I repudiate racism in general, and anti-Semitism in particular. May the Almighty calibrate all of the wrong-headed people perpetuating such, including the Affirmative Action crowd.


4 Responses to “Announcement: The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU”

  1. Jamie Holts
    February 15th, 2010 @ 2:04 am

    A friend of mine just emailed me one of your articles from a while back. I read that one a few more. Really enjoy your blog. Thanks

  2. Jamie Holts
    February 14th, 2010 @ 9:04 pm

    A friend of mine just emailed me one of your articles from a while back. I read that one a few more. Really enjoy your blog. Thanks

  3. Dodgeblogium » Protocols of the Elders of Cthulhu
    February 15th, 2010 @ 6:00 pm

    […] starts his latest […]

  4. GOP Future Funny When Written By Lefty : The Other McCain
    April 19th, 2010 @ 7:28 am

    […] activists ponder the November elections and wet themselves.They are hoping that the Elders of CTHULHU will pull the economy out of the toilet in time for 2012, with no real idea of how.Older and whiter […]