AL GORE SEX ATTACK!

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There’s a nausea-inducing phrase, eh? The slimy details:

ENQUIRER WORLD EXCLUSIVE: AL GORE has been accused of sexually attacking a masseuse in Portland, Oregon – and is named in the official police report about the alleged assault, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively!
The bombshell story will appear in the new issue of The ENQUIRER and will include the secret police documents, a photo of the woman making the stunning charges and will reveal the shocking details about the pants she saved as evidence! . . .
We have verified the 62-year-old former VP was in Portland at the time of the alleged incident – Oct. 24, 2006 – and we saw the $540 massage bill.
No criminal charges were brought against Gore, but the Portland police prepared a document marked “Confidential Special Report” – which records the explosive allegations of “unwanted sexual contact” by Al Gore “at a local upscale hotel.”
The ENQUIRER is withholding the name of the 54-year-old woman making the stunning accusations because she is potentially a sex-crime victim. . . .

Wait — she’s 54 years old? This sick freak is going around molesting old ladies? Via Maggie’s Farm and Jammie Wearing Fool, who asks, “Just wondering, does former Clinton lawyer David Kendall still work for the Enquirer?”

30 comments

  5. I’m sure Al Gore has his share of groupies..

    but he hit on his masseuse because she had shaved and taken a bath that morning.

  7. He paid $540 for a massage? That must have been a hell of a massage. Most charge what, around $60 to $100 an hour?

    As for her being in her fifties? Well that might get Al some sympathy in More magazine.

  8. He paid $540 for a massage? That must have been a hell of a massage. Most charge what, around $60 to $100 an hour?

    As for her being in her fifties? Well that might get Al some sympathy in More magazine.

  9. I have a feeling that the “sex attack” might be Al Gore pleading for a “happy ending” to help relieve some stress. Which might explain that $540 bill.

    But hey, the National Inquirer did get the Edwards story spot on, so we will remain to see what spots this well paid massuse has in her possession.

  10. I have a feeling that the “sex attack” might be Al Gore pleading for a “happy ending” to help relieve some stress. Which might explain that $540 bill.

    But hey, the National Inquirer did get the Edwards story spot on, so we will remain to see what spots this well paid massuse has in her possession.

  11. My only comment is the hockey stick graph is going up, up, up!

    Beyond that I have been advised to keep my mouth shut on this issue. Thank you.

  12. My only comment is the hockey stick graph is going up, up, up!

    Beyond that I have been advised to keep my mouth shut on this issue. Thank you.

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  18. Gore family spokeswoman Kalee Kreider said the former vice president has no comment.

    Uhhhhh, Al….that’s NOT the best possible answer, dude.

  19. Gore family spokeswoman Kalee Kreider said the former vice president has no comment.

    Uhhhhh, Al….that’s NOT the best possible answer, dude.

  29. For $540 you can find a much more attractive woman who will do anything you want. Still, there is what I have come to call Buell’s Law: if a prominent political figure is accused of some sort of sexual misconduct: HE DID IT.

  30. For $540 you can find a much more attractive woman who will do anything you want. Still, there is what I have come to call Buell’s Law: if a prominent political figure is accused of some sort of sexual misconduct: HE DID IT.

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