Why are there no deep-pockets donors offering me $50,000? Probably because I never leaked any national security secrets. Or raped any Swedish socialist women.
WARNING: Want a regular, down to earth guy? Keep moving. I am not the droid you’re looking for. Save us both while you still can. Passionate, and often pig headed activist intellectual seeks siren for love affair, children and occasional criminal conspiracy.
Such a woman should [be] spirited and playful, of high intelligence, though not necessarily formally educated, have spunk, class & inner strength and be able to think strategically about the world and the people she cares about.
It was that “spunk” line that got me, and never mind the double-entendre. No, I was thinking of a famous line from the first episode of the old Mary Tyler Moore Show:
Lou Grant: You know what? You’ve got spunk. Mary Richards: Well, yes . . . Lou Grant: I hate spunk.
WikiLeaks editor Julian Assange was granted bail by a London court Thursday, meaning he is free to leave jail until his next scheduled court hearing in January.
The exact timing of his release will depend on the speed of the paperwork, his lawyer Mark Stephens said in a statement outside the court, adding that he hoped Assange would be free later Thursday. . . .
A judge granted him bail on Tuesday, but lawyers representing Sweden immediately filed an appeal, keeping Assange behind bars until the High Court judge decided on the Swedish appeal.
Assange won the appeal Thursday. . . .
Meanwhile, Glenn Greenwald asserts that “it is impossible to invent theories to indict [Assange or his sources] without simultaneously criminalizing much of investigative journalism.” Which is false, and absurdly so. Army Pvt. Bradley Manning committed a crime — he was, at the very least, guilty of insubordination — and WikiLeaks abetted that crime.
Contrary to whatever cloak-and-dagger fantasies may exist in the imagination of Glenn Greenwald, “investigative journalism” is not dependent on illegally obtaining classified national security documents.
UPDATE: What Sweden needs is its own Antoine Dodson: “Julian Assange be snatchin’ yo’ people up and rapin’ ’em out here!”
Short of nuclear war between North Korea and Iran — or maybe Barack Obama accusing Markos Moulitsas of racism — it just doesn’t get any better than this, my friends:
KEITH OLBERMANN: One complicating issue here—address the charges against Assange in Sweden. Are they—are they a ruse? Are they—are they a front for something else? And even if they are, indeed, something nefarious against him, you are still, in essence, participating in bailing out a man who has been charged with criminal sexual charges, or will be charged under these circumstances. Address that.
MICHAEL MOORE: That’s the thing. He hasn’t been charged. They’ve brought no criminal charges against him. They want to talk to him about, about— This whole thing stinks to the high heavens. I gotta tell ya. I mean, I—I wasn’t born yesterday, but I [laughs]— I’ve seen this enough times where governments and corporations go after individuals— Geez, wasn’t I— I think I was just on your show a couple of weeks ago talking about this—
OLBERMANN: Uh-huh!
MOORE: —with my film and the health care industry. They go after people with this kind of lie and smear. Daniel Ellsberg told you about it last week on how they went after him. This is— We’ve seen this before. Now, his guilt or innocence of this— I mean, what he said they did— [grinning] and the lawyer said this today in court in London—that what they say he did and the charge is his [rolls eyes] condom broke during consensual sex.
OLBERMANN: Mm-hmm.
MOORE: That is not a crime in Britain, and so they’re making the point how can we—how can we extradite him over this? This is all a bunch of hooey as far as I’m concerned! And, and the man at least has a right to be out of prison while awaiting the hearing, and I believe that, that, uh—and this is why I participate in it; this is why I put put up a chunk of the bail money, and, um, you know, I’m proud, proud to do it because I think this man and what he’s doing, and what his group is doing, is going to save lives.
Regular readers (and everybody who hates me) will recall how disastrously things went sideways when I mocked feminists over this Swedish rape charge against Assange. The accusations, as described in published news accounts, certainly seemed to me like a case of post-coital vengeance — two of the socialist women the LeakyWicker bedded while in Stockholm compared notes and realized they’d been the unwitting (or perhaps witless) victims of a serial seducer. It did not seem to be the sort of case that lent itself to a pious “no means no” lecture from Jill Filipovic.
If you hate me, all that explanation isn’t going to convince you of my bona fides. Yet even my worst enemies must admit (a) I never used the phrase “a bunch of hooey” and (b) I’m a right-winger and therefore automatically presumed guilty of patriarchal misogyny, even if I never wrote a word about feminism.
But for Michael Freaking Moore to roll his eyes and chuckle derisively at the rape accusations on Keith Olbermann’s show — oh, my goodness! Pop the popcorn mon amis, because the flaming fatwa of feminist fury has been unleashed on the obnoxious America-hating Jabba the Hut:
Ask the women who are pressing these charges — their names have been so widely leaked, in one case by your fellow “progressive” media dudebro, Keith Olbermann, that it is possible to find their home addresses, their personal blogs and social media accounts, and to track their activities and personal lives. I’d imagine that they are very much in fear for their lives, due in large part to people like you, Michael Moore, who are insisting that they should not be believed.
And you’re the face of the Left. You have the platform, you have the power, you have the cash and the fame and the name and face recognition: You claim to speak for us. And when you speak, you don’t stand against rape.
Dear Feminist Ladies: Please forgive me for all previous offenses to your egalitarian sensibilities. Clearly, I deserved every bad name you ever called me. But I’m going to do everything I can to assist you in your current campaign of hysterical vindictive frenzy, because air should be illegal, if Michael Moore is breathing it.
OMG. I just thought of something.
What will Ace of Spades say when he finds out about this? If this doesn’t merit the legendary Flaming Skull Alert, I don’t know what ever will.
Financially, ethically, psychologically, and religiously, we are going into what I call the ‘Cave of Wealth and Death’ because we want to be rich and powerful, not happy and healthy and free. The chains of wealth pull us into the grave. I believe in Life, not Death. I believe that the only real thing we possess is our souls and this is by far, the most precious thing. Inside the Cave of Wealth and Death are various dire forces: Zero and Infinity, Libra and others which appear in my stories and cartoons. Above all of this flies the constellation Pegasus. This is my icon and I have been a believer in the eternal powers of creativity as expressed by the beliefs and ancient stories of this very old horse/god.
So there’s some sort of pagan pantheistic New Age spiritualism informing her views, and maybe she needs some tinfoil in her hat. If she’s some kind of Jew-hater — what’sthis about, huh? and “international Jewish finances,” hello? — then I don’t think we can hang that on the Left, per se, except in the sense that August Bebel intended when he remarked, “Anti-Semitism is the socialism of fools.”
Ergo, while I have often noted the overlap between the anti-American Left and the anti-Israel Left — “The Sirhan Sirhan Wing of the Democratic Party” — I’m not sure that Supkis fits so neatly there.
Tracy Quan resorts to anthropology to explain why the LeakyWicker inspires concupiscence among liberal women. It’s not just his vague resemblance to Sting, she says:
“Despite his most-wanted status and allegations of sexual misconduct, the WikiLeaks founder is intriguingly attractive to many women. . . . Yet [Naomi] Wolf, dwelling in a ‘boys will be boys’ way on Assange’s allegedly boorish dating style, reminds us that female appetites are as unpredictable as those of men.”
Actually, no. Female appetites are entirely predictable. Confused women with self-esteem issues predictably seek significance by associating themselves with famous men.
Note that it is not wealth or success but rather fame that does the trick. A man may have a substantial bank balance or eminence in his professional career without inspiring desperate women toward groupie behavior. The vice-president of an investment firm, a real-estate developer or a top lawyer may all make more money than the lead guitarist of a rock band, but the guitarist is famous (at least among rock music fans) and so it is the rock star who is pursued by sex-crazed groupies.
Likewise with Julian Assange. He probably isn’t rich, and his “success” is rather ambiguous (any man so enthusiastically admired by Glenn Greenwald is probably not really admirable). But Assange is famous among leftists — a rock star of anti-Americanism — and therefore is pursued by socialist groupies like Anna Ardin.
It’s kind of like how Professor Glenn Reynolds is the mack daddy of blogging. Chicks dig a guy with a big SiteMeter. IYKWIMAITYD.
The Swedes seem determined to deprive the LeakyWicker of further opportunities for semi-consensual condomless sex with socialist women:
The WikiLeaks founder, Julian Assange, is to remain in jail after the Swedish authorities decided to challenge a decision by a British court to grant him bail on allegations of rape in Stockholm.
A judge in London granted Assange £240,000 bail with strict conditions, including a curfew and the surrendering of his passport.
But when counsel for the prosecution indicated it would appeal, the judge told Assange he would remain in jail until a hearing at a higher court within 48 hours. . . .
Some of Assange’s celebrity supporters attended the hearing, including socialite Jemima Khan, Bianca Jagger and Fatima Bhutto, niece of the assassinated Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan. Outside, one protester held up a placard that read “Sex crimes, my arse!” But media outnumbered the protesters, who were about 30 strong. . . .
Warning to socialist women everywhere: There may be fewer than 48 hours remaining until Julian Assange is once more on the prowl.
We were taken to war in Iraq on a lie. Hundreds of thousands are now dead. Just imagine if the men who planned this war crime back in 2002 had had a WikiLeaks to deal with.
Moore probably figures Assange can give him some pointers on how to score with Swedish socialist babes.
UPDATE II:Jim Geraghty easily eviscerates Moore’s ludicrous assertion that President Bush “ignored” warnings about the 9/11 plot. Moore is merely recycling one of those Things All Liberals Believe which, of course, are never actually true.
In granting bail, Judge Howard Riddle ordered that Mr. Assange appear again in court on Jan. 11. He also said that between then and now he must reside at Ellingham Hall, a Georgian mansion in Bungay, in eastern England, owned by Vaughan Smith, the founder of a club for journalists. Mr. Assange must spend every night at the mansion and will be electronically tagged so the police can track his movements, the judge said.
Additionally, Mr. Assange will be under curfew every day from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. and from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and will be required to report daily to the police from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. His passport is already with the police and, under the terms of his bail, he is not permitted to travel abroad.
So, all you socialist women who fantasize about getting kinda raped by an International Hero of World Peace, you know where to find him.
Proposed slogan for Ellingham Hall:
If the Mansion’s Rocking, Don’t Come Knocking!
UPDATE IV: All you people who have accused me of being “pro-rape” for having criticized feminist reaction to the sexual assault charges against Assange — and you know who you are — should immediately denounce Ed Morrissey of Hot Air:
[T]he investigation into Assange for rape relies on some questionable legal definitions — which is probably why Sweden hasn’t actually charged Assange with anything yet. . . . It’s difficult to know whether the claims of the two women about differing levels of consensual approval will be treated as a criminal offense by the courts at all, or whether prosecutors will even bother to come to court in the first place.
Obviously, Ed hasn’t felt the righteous wrath of feminist indignation or he would know that (a) women never lie about rape and (b) women have the right to change their minds about consent at any point — including after the sex is over, when they belatedly discover that the guy they shagged is a herpes-infected two-timing slimeball. And furthermore (c) anyone who advises women to exercise responsible caution in choosing their sexual partners is a misogynistic bigot.
Also: Feminists are free to mischaracterize any opponent’s argument, to demonize the opponent in the most tendentious way possible. But if you think you can play the same game against them, this only goes to prove that you’re a misogynistic bigot — a term that may be defined as “someone who makes fun of feminists.”
Greenwald evidently assumes that (a) there is some inherent right to publish illegally obtained documents; (b) Julian Assange is a member of the “press”; and (c) among the most important “press freedoms” is the right of a journalist to have condomless sex with Swedish socialist women.
My wife, who is neither Swedish nor socialist, assures me that I have no such “right.” But then again, I’m not an International Hero of World Peace.
“There’s a huge difference between an individual or an organization reporting abuses in government or business one at a time and the same people stealing enough classified material to run a spy agency. But sleazy Julian Assange and his spy agency WikiLeaks are trying to pretend they are journalists. He even calls himself ‘editor-in-chief,’ sort of like Mata Hari calling herself H.L. Mencken or the Rosenbergs claiming to be Woodward and Bernstein.”
— Dan Gainor, “Media Can’t Decide Whether Espionage is Journalism”
