Because I’m Not That Stupid

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Perhaps some readers will recall this noxious video:

When I posted that horrible thing April 24, I warned that “Fark.com has quite accurately described [it] as ‘The worst version of “Sweet Home Alabama” in the entire history of ever.’ ”

Operating as usual in fire-and-forget mode, I paid no further attention until May 2 when I observed that this had become “The Longest Comment Thread in the History of This Blog” and added:

For the record, I cannot vouch for the accuracy of any of what people write in the comments. . . . 
So now I’ve got the blogospheric equivalent of a “Jerry Springer Show” episode in the comments of a two-week-old post that I just put up as a bit of weekend snark. But I guess it goes to show the unpredictable nature of online viral phenomena.

Well, this yammering continued — now 500+ comments — entirely unheeded until today when I received an e-mail “cease and desist” notice:

Submitted to Evidence:
5/10/2010
Case #0014374892010crv
Submitted to: State(s) Federal Bureau of Investigation div. of Cyber Crimes
(New Jersey, Florida, Ohio, Tennessee, Oregon, North Carolina, Texas, North Dakota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Idaho)
Submitted to: Local Law Enforcement Columbiana County Ohio / Cleveland AAU Div. . . .
From:
Blaze Records USA
Department of Legal Affairs
*Please be advised that Blaze Records USA and the Artist’s that it represents Have not posted to this blog.
Any and all information posted here has been tracked, traced, documented and submitted as evidence to the proper authorities.
Legal Issues (AP Press Release) April 27, 2010
We are very pleased to announce that on April 27, 2010 Blaze Records USA has been granted an injunction to file a National Class Action Lawsuit on behalf of Blaze Records USA and the Artist’s that it represents.
Over the past eight months, Blaze Records USA and the Artist’s in which it represents, has endured continues harassment, slander and defamation of character from several individuals and companies.
During the past eight months, the Blaze Records USA Internet Security Team has collected and documented over 6,000 pages of evidence related to this case. They have also collected and documented over 400 cases of Copyright Infringement and Trademark Violations from several individuals.
A legal advisory panel consisting of 11 Attorney’s, 4 Judges and several law enforcement officials has been assembled to ensure the handling of this case and to seek justice for all parties who’s legal rights have been violated.
Both Civil and Criminal charges will be filed against all persons involved and will be filed in the following states: Oregon, Ohio, Pennsylvania, North Dakota, Florida, Texas, Idaho, Tennessee, Georgia, and New Jersey.
Insuring the rights and safety of Blaze Records USA Artist’s, is and will continue to be a priority and this behavior, will not be tolerated nor taken lightly.
Any and all questions or concerns with this issue should be brought to our attention and will be immediately addressed as a priority and handled with confidentiality. . . .

Blah, blah, blah. Although I’m not a lawyer, I’m reliably informed that the so-called “safe harbor” provision of the Communications Decency Act means that I’m not responsible for idiotic comments by idiotic commenters, especially comments I’ve never seen on a three-week-old post.

Certainly, I cannot be accused of malice against people I’ve never met, on the basis of comments I’ve never seen, which were posted by anonymous assclowns.

However, despite its legal and grammatical deficiencies, this e-mail about a “legal advisory panel” threatening me with “Civil and Criminal charges” prompts me to wonder about Blaze Records USA. Does anybody else find it strange that this record company (which nobody ever heard of) should employ both a “Legal Affairs Department” and an “Internet Security Team”? Since they can afford all that stuff, maybe they should also invest in a halfway decent Web site.

Or hire some singers who can, y’know, sing.

Exit Question: Is Champagne Dream the Jackie Mackie Paisley Passey of music?

578 comments

  1. Oh yeah one more thing.

    Mr Recording studio producer foreclosed house guy. Is that new Triple Threat album available on 8 track? All the crappy effects and crummy overdubbing couldn’t even make that crap sound good. Come on sir You have GOT to be kidding us all right this is like a huge college prank right! I hope her cd come in Close captions or brail. So no one with eyes or ears are ever subjected to it.

  2. Oh yeah one more thing.

    Mr Recording studio producer foreclosed house guy. Is that new Triple Threat album available on 8 track? All the crappy effects and crummy overdubbing couldn’t even make that crap sound good. Come on sir You have GOT to be kidding us all right this is like a huge college prank right! I hope her cd come in Close captions or brail. So no one with eyes or ears are ever subjected to it.

  6. Haha it’s all flying out now! Nice one Truth!

    Anyone notice that all the “supporters” (AKA Tony) haven’t posted today. Coincidence?

    So Tony, why don’t you post Champagne’s Mom looking at the docket posted above? Then have the video showing you explaining yourself to her.

    Going 7th grade here…but his middle name is Peter? I knew it. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  7. Haha it’s all flying out now! Nice one Truth!

    Anyone notice that all the “supporters” (AKA Tony) haven’t posted today. Coincidence?

    So Tony, why don’t you post Champagne’s Mom looking at the docket posted above? Then have the video showing you explaining yourself to her.

    Going 7th grade here…but his middle name is Peter? I knew it. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  8. Haha it’s all flying out now! Nice one Truth!

    Anyone notice that all the “supporters” (AKA Tony) haven’t posted today. Coincidence?

    So Tony, why don’t you post Champagne’s Mom looking at the docket posted above? Then have the video showing you explaining yourself to her.

    Going 7th grade here…but his middle name is Peter? I knew it. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  9. Classic Mike, Jimbob and Truth. Wow! Wouldn’t want my daughter in his bedroom. Champagne Dream doesn’t know how much she is destroying herself and making an ass out of herself and Blaze with that “Hater’s” video.
    Yeah, noticed no Blaze supporters around. Do you think we can find her mother and get her to look at the evidence on her daughter’s “promoter boyfriend”?

    Breaking News: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  10. Classic Mike, Jimbob and Truth. Wow! Wouldn’t want my daughter in his bedroom. Champagne Dream doesn’t know how much she is destroying herself and making an ass out of herself and Blaze with that “Hater’s” video.
    Yeah, noticed no Blaze supporters around. Do you think we can find her mother and get her to look at the evidence on her daughter’s “promoter boyfriend”?

    Breaking News: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  11. Classic Mike, Jimbob and Truth. Wow! Wouldn’t want my daughter in his bedroom. Champagne Dream doesn’t know how much she is destroying herself and making an ass out of herself and Blaze with that “Hater’s” video.
    Yeah, noticed no Blaze supporters around. Do you think we can find her mother and get her to look at the evidence on her daughter’s “promoter boyfriend”?

    Breaking News: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  14. Hey Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese You got your Cease and Desist Letter ready for the above link yet? ROFLMAO ROFLMAO

  15. Hey Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese You got your Cease and Desist Letter ready for the above link yet? ROFLMAO ROFLMAO

  16. Don’t look now but someone is posting that video all over the yahoo news pages…….News of the weird Hey I guess she is gonna a star…But for a different reason lol

  17. Don’t look now but someone is posting that video all over the yahoo news pages…….News of the weird Hey I guess she is gonna a star…But for a different reason lol

  18. Where oh where is our eloquent affluent star Champagne Dream and her powerful record label executive, who is getting his home sold at a sheriff’s auction?
    Come out come out where ever you are!? Champagne are you hiding behind that guitar again? You ain’t got much to cover. Didn’t need it anyway. LOL

  19. Where oh where is our eloquent affluent star Champagne Dream and her powerful record label executive, who is getting his home sold at a sheriff’s auction?
    Come out come out where ever you are!? Champagne are you hiding behind that guitar again? You ain’t got much to cover. Didn’t need it anyway. LOL

  20. http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=429915245&blogId=534584431

    Go here and read this girl’s 3 blogs on being stalked. LOL Little does she know that her real stalker (unless she is Tony-he has so many fake sites) is Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese.
    Honey, Kevin Keen is not stalking you. You need to be careful what you post. You are dangerously close to jail for false accusations. Its best you heed my words.
    My private investigator will be releasing his findings as soon as possible. Can’t wait to see you eating your words. Blaze Records will soon be shut down and Tony Calabrese in jail. Life’s a bitch for some people Tony. Yours will be in jail.
    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  21. http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=429915245&blogId=534584431

    Go here and read this girl’s 3 blogs on being stalked. LOL Little does she know that her real stalker (unless she is Tony-he has so many fake sites) is Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese.
    Honey, Kevin Keen is not stalking you. You need to be careful what you post. You are dangerously close to jail for false accusations. Its best you heed my words.
    My private investigator will be releasing his findings as soon as possible. Can’t wait to see you eating your words. Blaze Records will soon be shut down and Tony Calabrese in jail. Life’s a bitch for some people Tony. Yours will be in jail.
    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  22. http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=429915245&blogId=534584431

    Go here and read this girl’s 3 blogs on being stalked. LOL Little does she know that her real stalker (unless she is Tony-he has so many fake sites) is Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese.
    Honey, Kevin Keen is not stalking you. You need to be careful what you post. You are dangerously close to jail for false accusations. Its best you heed my words.
    My private investigator will be releasing his findings as soon as possible. Can’t wait to see you eating your words. Blaze Records will soon be shut down and Tony Calabrese in jail. Life’s a bitch for some people Tony. Yours will be in jail.
    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  26. I have a change of heart now about CD.. I thought she may be a sweet young girl in lala land, confused. After I watched her video I now think she deserves everything she gets…KK needs to have her ass put in jail for what she said about him..OMG IS SHE NUTS… I guess its thank you to the tuff k9’s lmao what ever!

  27. I have a change of heart now about CD.. I thought she may be a sweet young girl in lala land, confused. After I watched her video I now think she deserves everything she gets…KK needs to have her ass put in jail for what she said about him..OMG IS SHE NUTS… I guess its thank you to the tuff k9’s lmao what ever!

  28. Not at all. Saves me time.

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  29. Not at all. Saves me time.

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  30. I have a change of heart now about CD.. I thought she may be a sweet young girl in lala land, confused. After I watched her video I now think she deserves everything she gets…KK needs to have her ass put in jail for what she said about him..OMG IS SHE NUTS… I guess its thank you to the tuff k9’s lmao what ever!

  31. Not at all. Saves me time.

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  35. Mercy alive! We have not heard from Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese in a while.

    http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=429915245&blogId=534584431

    This girl claims she is being stalked by someone by the name of Kevin Keen. She’s not being stalked at all. This is a ploy to try and cover up the con man actions of Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese.
    Upon reading this girl’s myspace page, it appears she fits right in with Tony Calabrese and his bedroom studio.
    You two go together Renae. Shut your mouth, or you’ll end up in the same jail as Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese. Have fun this weekend knowing there’s a private eye watching all of you.

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  36. Mercy alive! We have not heard from Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese in a while.

    http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=429915245&blogId=534584431

    This girl claims she is being stalked by someone by the name of Kevin Keen. She’s not being stalked at all. This is a ploy to try and cover up the con man actions of Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese.
    Upon reading this girl’s myspace page, it appears she fits right in with Tony Calabrese and his bedroom studio.
    You two go together Renae. Shut your mouth, or you’ll end up in the same jail as Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese. Have fun this weekend knowing there’s a private eye watching all of you.

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  37. Hey Tupelo…Renae is Tony (yet again).

    He pretends to be so many women, I am starting to think he is gay.

    Watch out, very soon he’s gonna have a whole stable of little boys ‘signed’ to his ‘label’. And then this whole thing will start back over again. The Hillbilly Paradox!

  38. Hey Tupelo…Renae is Tony (yet again).

    He pretends to be so many women, I am starting to think he is gay.

    Watch out, very soon he’s gonna have a whole stable of little boys ‘signed’ to his ‘label’. And then this whole thing will start back over again. The Hillbilly Paradox!

  39. Ha ha ha Mike. I figured Renae was Tony. LOL But where can he be today? Busy preparing for his Triple Threats Concert perhaps?

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  40. Ha ha ha Mike. I figured Renae was Tony. LOL But where can he be today? Busy preparing for his Triple Threats Concert perhaps?

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  41. Watched the “Hater’s Video” again and I have concluded that Champagne Dream is a better actress than a singer. But she still wasn’t convincing. Get your mom on there and let her tell us that she agrees with what Tony Calabrese is doing with and to you.
    Your speaking voice sounds about the same pitch as your singing voice-off pitch and out of tune. Honey, you need another profession.
    I’m sure that Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese has not told you anything about this site or the others critiquing your version of Sweet Home Alabama. If he had, I’m sure you would not have done that video.
    I agree with Ohio Eye-you made your choice, and need to be in jail for lying and printing what you have printed about KK.

    BY THE WAY: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  42. Watched the “Hater’s Video” again and I have concluded that Champagne Dream is a better actress than a singer. But she still wasn’t convincing. Get your mom on there and let her tell us that she agrees with what Tony Calabrese is doing with and to you.
    Your speaking voice sounds about the same pitch as your singing voice-off pitch and out of tune. Honey, you need another profession.
    I’m sure that Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese has not told you anything about this site or the others critiquing your version of Sweet Home Alabama. If he had, I’m sure you would not have done that video.
    I agree with Ohio Eye-you made your choice, and need to be in jail for lying and printing what you have printed about KK.

    BY THE WAY: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  47. This is hilarious!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBW4D92JQbs

    What? Nobody’s there? What a huge surprise!!!

    But this may be the topper…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrfYYqie7g0&NR=1

    So to bookend this thread…
    Tony Calabrese is an idiot, a liar and a fraud, and has been sued for these things and lost every time.

    Blaze Records only exists in his mind and the minds of talentless girls.

    Champagne Dream’s version of “Sweet Home Alabama” is almost too embarrassing to watch. Some people can learn to sing/dance/entertain…this one cannot.

    Amen.

  48. This is hilarious!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBW4D92JQbs

    What? Nobody’s there? What a huge surprise!!!

    But this may be the topper…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrfYYqie7g0&NR=1

    So to bookend this thread…
    Tony Calabrese is an idiot, a liar and a fraud, and has been sued for these things and lost every time.

    Blaze Records only exists in his mind and the minds of talentless girls.

    Champagne Dream’s version of “Sweet Home Alabama” is almost too embarrassing to watch. Some people can learn to sing/dance/entertain…this one cannot.

    Amen.

  49. Got this link handed to me at the show yesterday on a card with an autographed picture of Champagne Dream. I can’t believe what I’m reading here. Wouldn’t say nobody was there because I had an entry in the car show and there was over 8000 in attendance for the car show and the majority went to the amphitheater for the music show as well. My wife and I enjoyed the show and was happy that it was held at Thompson park. This is the kind of thing that East Liverpool needs to have more of and the ladies did a fantastic job. This site is plain out hateful and you should be ashamed to be writing this garbage about people that are doing things for their communities.

  50. Got this link handed to me at the show yesterday on a card with an autographed picture of Champagne Dream. I can’t believe what I’m reading here. Wouldn’t say nobody was there because I had an entry in the car show and there was over 8000 in attendance for the car show and the majority went to the amphitheater for the music show as well. My wife and I enjoyed the show and was happy that it was held at Thompson park. This is the kind of thing that East Liverpool needs to have more of and the ladies did a fantastic job. This site is plain out hateful and you should be ashamed to be writing this garbage about people that are doing things for their communities.

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