Because I’m Not That Stupid

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Perhaps some readers will recall this noxious video:

When I posted that horrible thing April 24, I warned that “Fark.com has quite accurately described [it] as ‘The worst version of “Sweet Home Alabama” in the entire history of ever.’ ”

Operating as usual in fire-and-forget mode, I paid no further attention until May 2 when I observed that this had become “The Longest Comment Thread in the History of This Blog” and added:

For the record, I cannot vouch for the accuracy of any of what people write in the comments. . . . 
So now I’ve got the blogospheric equivalent of a “Jerry Springer Show” episode in the comments of a two-week-old post that I just put up as a bit of weekend snark. But I guess it goes to show the unpredictable nature of online viral phenomena.

Well, this yammering continued — now 500+ comments — entirely unheeded until today when I received an e-mail “cease and desist” notice:

Submitted to Evidence:
5/10/2010
Case #0014374892010crv
Submitted to: State(s) Federal Bureau of Investigation div. of Cyber Crimes
(New Jersey, Florida, Ohio, Tennessee, Oregon, North Carolina, Texas, North Dakota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Idaho)
Submitted to: Local Law Enforcement Columbiana County Ohio / Cleveland AAU Div. . . .
From:
Blaze Records USA
Department of Legal Affairs
*Please be advised that Blaze Records USA and the Artist’s that it represents Have not posted to this blog.
Any and all information posted here has been tracked, traced, documented and submitted as evidence to the proper authorities.
Legal Issues (AP Press Release) April 27, 2010
We are very pleased to announce that on April 27, 2010 Blaze Records USA has been granted an injunction to file a National Class Action Lawsuit on behalf of Blaze Records USA and the Artist’s that it represents.
Over the past eight months, Blaze Records USA and the Artist’s in which it represents, has endured continues harassment, slander and defamation of character from several individuals and companies.
During the past eight months, the Blaze Records USA Internet Security Team has collected and documented over 6,000 pages of evidence related to this case. They have also collected and documented over 400 cases of Copyright Infringement and Trademark Violations from several individuals.
A legal advisory panel consisting of 11 Attorney’s, 4 Judges and several law enforcement officials has been assembled to ensure the handling of this case and to seek justice for all parties who’s legal rights have been violated.
Both Civil and Criminal charges will be filed against all persons involved and will be filed in the following states: Oregon, Ohio, Pennsylvania, North Dakota, Florida, Texas, Idaho, Tennessee, Georgia, and New Jersey.
Insuring the rights and safety of Blaze Records USA Artist’s, is and will continue to be a priority and this behavior, will not be tolerated nor taken lightly.
Any and all questions or concerns with this issue should be brought to our attention and will be immediately addressed as a priority and handled with confidentiality. . . .

Blah, blah, blah. Although I’m not a lawyer, I’m reliably informed that the so-called “safe harbor” provision of the Communications Decency Act means that I’m not responsible for idiotic comments by idiotic commenters, especially comments I’ve never seen on a three-week-old post.

Certainly, I cannot be accused of malice against people I’ve never met, on the basis of comments I’ve never seen, which were posted by anonymous assclowns.

However, despite its legal and grammatical deficiencies, this e-mail about a “legal advisory panel” threatening me with “Civil and Criminal charges” prompts me to wonder about Blaze Records USA. Does anybody else find it strange that this record company (which nobody ever heard of) should employ both a “Legal Affairs Department” and an “Internet Security Team”? Since they can afford all that stuff, maybe they should also invest in a halfway decent Web site.

Or hire some singers who can, y’know, sing.

Exit Question: Is Champagne Dream the Jackie Mackie Paisley Passey of music?

578 comments

  1. Car Buff 1969/Tony Calabrese, you are unbelievably stupid. That is such a lie! Not only was there not 8,000 people at the car show, there wasn’t ONE! How many cars in your car show? NONE! And NO ONE came to your stupid show either. I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE how there is zero crowd noise, proving there was no one there.

    And your “sound check” was not a sound check. It was “the” show. Two fugly girls singing karaoke badly (turn the reverb up some more Bozo).

    Why not post a video and audio of the 8,000 people cheering during the “Triple Threat”?

    How did you talk your way out of this to Champagne’s mom and Renae? What excuse did you come up with that there weren’t any people at your “tour kick off”? And where’s the footage of Nicole? So many lies, Tony Calabrese, so little time! Fraud!!!

  2. Car Buff 1969/Tony Calabrese, you are unbelievably stupid. That is such a lie! Not only was there not 8,000 people at the car show, there wasn’t ONE! How many cars in your car show? NONE! And NO ONE came to your stupid show either. I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE how there is zero crowd noise, proving there was no one there.

    And your “sound check” was not a sound check. It was “the” show. Two fugly girls singing karaoke badly (turn the reverb up some more Bozo).

    Why not post a video and audio of the 8,000 people cheering during the “Triple Threat”?

    How did you talk your way out of this to Champagne’s mom and Renae? What excuse did you come up with that there weren’t any people at your “tour kick off”? And where’s the footage of Nicole? So many lies, Tony Calabrese, so little time! Fraud!!!

  3. OMG OMG OMG! PLEASE TELL ME IM HAVING A NIGHTMARE..OMG! IS THIS STUPID VIDEO FOR REAL.? RENAE, WHEN YOU SING OR WHAT EVER YOU CALL THAT LOL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SMELL SHIT…CD LMAO…YOU ARE SO NASTY!!!! STINKY! IN A PARK ALONE WITH TONY AND LOUD ECHO MICS..LMAO..OMG I NEED TO PUKE..THIS TOPS IT ALL LOLOLOLOLOLO

  4. OMG OMG OMG! PLEASE TELL ME IM HAVING A NIGHTMARE..OMG! IS THIS STUPID VIDEO FOR REAL.? RENAE, WHEN YOU SING OR WHAT EVER YOU CALL THAT LOL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SMELL SHIT…CD LMAO…YOU ARE SO NASTY!!!! STINKY! IN A PARK ALONE WITH TONY AND LOUD ECHO MICS..LMAO..OMG I NEED TO PUKE..THIS TOPS IT ALL LOLOLOLOLOLO

  5. Now I understand why I was given this web addy yesterday at the concert.
    It was a good show and a much needed thing for our community. Obviously none of you have any self respect let alone respect for others.
    The singers were beautiful and did a nice job with the concert. They made some fans of us. Jim & Sally Reynolds

  6. Now I understand why I was given this web addy yesterday at the concert.
    It was a good show and a much needed thing for our community. Obviously none of you have any self respect let alone respect for others.
    The singers were beautiful and did a nice job with the concert. They made some fans of us. Jim & Sally Reynolds

  7. Ummm….I really dont care about all this crap but I was jogging in that park yesterday. I heard some music so made my way over there…I stopped for a breather and watched from the top of the hill. I saw a few people talking and walking around the covered patio thing….pavillion, I guess? When the music stopped, one guy was behind a camera and 2 girls were talking into microphones about ‘thank you’s and appreciating all the hits to some page? I didnt stick around to hear them sing but found the videos and this blog today….umm…wow….Im really glad I didnt stick around to hear whatever it was they were doing….but it sure wasnt singing. I jog or walk my dog at that park all the time. Im looking at the newest video of them at my town park as we speak….ugh…I dont mean to be rude but….wow. Thats pretty bad….

  8. Ummm….I really dont care about all this crap but I was jogging in that park yesterday. I heard some music so made my way over there…I stopped for a breather and watched from the top of the hill. I saw a few people talking and walking around the covered patio thing….pavillion, I guess? When the music stopped, one guy was behind a camera and 2 girls were talking into microphones about ‘thank you’s and appreciating all the hits to some page? I didnt stick around to hear them sing but found the videos and this blog today….umm…wow….Im really glad I didnt stick around to hear whatever it was they were doing….but it sure wasnt singing. I jog or walk my dog at that park all the time. Im looking at the newest video of them at my town park as we speak….ugh…I dont mean to be rude but….wow. Thats pretty bad….

  9. Mustang Sally Reynolds/Tony Calabrese – Who are you trying to convince? Champagne Dream? Renae? How did they like singing shitty karaoke in some crappy park for NO ONE but you?

    For the life of me I cannot rationalize why you would “lie” about giving this email address to people. Even if you weren’t another fake Tony profile, what would be the gain? To show people how ‘everybody’ thinks you are a fraud? A Fake? A liar? A pedophile? And this thread shows actual PROOF. Whereas all that you have is hearsay.

    The fat lady is warming up Tony. Maybe you should sign her. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  10. I know what you mean JUST JOGGIN…I was walkin my dog and heard the same stupid crap…My dog was so upset she peed on my foot..Shes not use to wolf howlin..lol..I think I saw you there..there was only you, me, my dog, Tony and his 2 trying to sing dogs.. THEY ALL SMELL LIKE BUTT. MY DOG WANTED A NIFF AND I PUlled her back and ran like hell; SO SAD!

  11. Mustang Sally Reynolds/Tony Calabrese – Who are you trying to convince? Champagne Dream? Renae? How did they like singing shitty karaoke in some crappy park for NO ONE but you?

    For the life of me I cannot rationalize why you would “lie” about giving this email address to people. Even if you weren’t another fake Tony profile, what would be the gain? To show people how ‘everybody’ thinks you are a fraud? A Fake? A liar? A pedophile? And this thread shows actual PROOF. Whereas all that you have is hearsay.

    The fat lady is warming up Tony. Maybe you should sign her. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  12. I know what you mean JUST JOGGIN…I was walkin my dog and heard the same stupid crap…My dog was so upset she peed on my foot..Shes not use to wolf howlin..lol..I think I saw you there..there was only you, me, my dog, Tony and his 2 trying to sing dogs.. THEY ALL SMELL LIKE BUTT. MY DOG WANTED A NIFF AND I PUlled her back and ran like hell; SO SAD!

  13. talk about blog abuse. this is it on this site! i am a 27 year resident of east liverpool, ohio and this harassing blog is absurd! i personally entered the car show and went to the concert at the amphitheater and it was very nice to hear good music in the park. after reading through this entire-who knows what to call this i can see that it is a very nasty jealous person that started it all. hey jogger it don’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you are lying and have never been to thompson park. the blond singers mother didn’t start handing out the papers directing people to this blog until after the concert and everybody knows that the amphitheater is enormous and does not get mistaken for a pavillion. lay off of people and go do something constructive and good for your community.

  14. talk about blog abuse. this is it on this site! i am a 27 year resident of east liverpool, ohio and this harassing blog is absurd! i personally entered the car show and went to the concert at the amphitheater and it was very nice to hear good music in the park. after reading through this entire-who knows what to call this i can see that it is a very nasty jealous person that started it all. hey jogger it don’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you are lying and have never been to thompson park. the blond singers mother didn’t start handing out the papers directing people to this blog until after the concert and everybody knows that the amphitheater is enormous and does not get mistaken for a pavillion. lay off of people and go do something constructive and good for your community.

  15. Scott Larue/Tony Calabrese, you are stupid, stupid, stupid! Come out and post like a real man, you fairy! Face it, no one was at your ‘concert’, there were ZERO cars in your car show and YOU, sir, are a fraud, a liar and have more fake personalities on this blog…and on myspace…than anyone in history.

    Just jogging, the reason Tony is calling you out here is because he didn’t see anyone there except for the talentless duo and himself. Thanks for reporting ‘the truth’. Tony wouldn’t know what that was if it bit him on his bald, fake head.

    Did I mention that Tony is a liar, a fraud and anyone on this blog that is showing support for him…well that’s just Tony thinking he is smart. He actually thinks he’s clever but he’s just IGNORANT and everyone is laughing at him!

    And by fat lady warming up, I don’t mean Renae. Haha Why don’t you take another photo of her and block out the background and use it, say, 1,000 times BADLY!!!

    Effing sad, Tony, you friggin’ HOMO!

  16. Scott Larue/Tony Calabrese, you are stupid, stupid, stupid! Come out and post like a real man, you fairy! Face it, no one was at your ‘concert’, there were ZERO cars in your car show and YOU, sir, are a fraud, a liar and have more fake personalities on this blog…and on myspace…than anyone in history.

    Just jogging, the reason Tony is calling you out here is because he didn’t see anyone there except for the talentless duo and himself. Thanks for reporting ‘the truth’. Tony wouldn’t know what that was if it bit him on his bald, fake head.

    Did I mention that Tony is a liar, a fraud and anyone on this blog that is showing support for him…well that’s just Tony thinking he is smart. He actually thinks he’s clever but he’s just IGNORANT and everyone is laughing at him!

    And by fat lady warming up, I don’t mean Renae. Haha Why don’t you take another photo of her and block out the background and use it, say, 1,000 times BADLY!!!

    Effing sad, Tony, you friggin’ HOMO!

  17. hot hot hot! loved the show and props to you both. even though i didn’t place at the car show you both made my day. thanks champagne for the autograph on my car. you both made the day! i’ll get it out about these no lifers on these sites. lol tik tok i like your car. tommy

  18. hot hot hot! loved the show and props to you both. even though i didn’t place at the car show you both made my day. thanks champagne for the autograph on my car. you both made the day! i’ll get it out about these no lifers on these sites. lol tik tok i like your car. tommy

  19. Two fans? Pretty sure Champagnes mom (fat lady) had to be there to bring Champagne. And her mentally challenged brother had to go because her mom had to go. I have a great idea, let’s bring ’em down so there is no one left to clap at all!!!

    Tom Potts/Tony – you are a complete waste of skin. Show one picture from your car show, idiot. Oh, you can’t? Because it didn’t exist? What a surprise. Idiot.

  20. Two fans? Pretty sure Champagnes mom (fat lady) had to be there to bring Champagne. And her mentally challenged brother had to go because her mom had to go. I have a great idea, let’s bring ’em down so there is no one left to clap at all!!!

    Tom Potts/Tony – you are a complete waste of skin. Show one picture from your car show, idiot. Oh, you can’t? Because it didn’t exist? What a surprise. Idiot.

  21. I am a car enthusiast from Salem, Ohio. I heard about this car show and wanted to enter my car (1968 Impala SS427) in the show. I searched and searched for any information on it and came up with nada. Well because Sunday was a beautiful day I decided to drive around East Liverpool, hoping to come across the car show. Well I drove and I drove and nothing. Then as I got near Thompson Park, I heard some music. So I turned around and pulled in. There were a few cars near the pavillion and obviously this wasn’t the car show. A jogger (I assume the guy that posted above) was standing there so I asked him but he didn’t know anything about it. I found this website yesterday because I was still looking for the car show. This is really funny. I can tell you this much, right hand to Jesus, there were not 8,000 people at Thompson park. There were maybe 10 people and I have asked a lot of people around East Liverpool and nobody knows anything about a car show. I am not trying to pile on here but it looks like it all was a hoax and if that thing at Thompson park on Sunday was a concert than I’d have to say our world is going to hell in a handbasket.
    Ralph

  22. I am a car enthusiast from Salem, Ohio. I heard about this car show and wanted to enter my car (1968 Impala SS427) in the show. I searched and searched for any information on it and came up with nada. Well because Sunday was a beautiful day I decided to drive around East Liverpool, hoping to come across the car show. Well I drove and I drove and nothing. Then as I got near Thompson Park, I heard some music. So I turned around and pulled in. There were a few cars near the pavillion and obviously this wasn’t the car show. A jogger (I assume the guy that posted above) was standing there so I asked him but he didn’t know anything about it. I found this website yesterday because I was still looking for the car show. This is really funny. I can tell you this much, right hand to Jesus, there were not 8,000 people at Thompson park. There were maybe 10 people and I have asked a lot of people around East Liverpool and nobody knows anything about a car show. I am not trying to pile on here but it looks like it all was a hoax and if that thing at Thompson park on Sunday was a concert than I’d have to say our world is going to hell in a handbasket.
    Ralph

  23. Funny how they are only letting certain people post to this mud throwing blog. Blaze Records, Renae and Champagne Dream, East Liverpool thanks you and is looking forward to hosting many more shows with all of the Blaze people. Joe

  24. Funny how they are only letting certain people post to this mud throwing blog. Blaze Records, Renae and Champagne Dream, East Liverpool thanks you and is looking forward to hosting many more shows with all of the Blaze people. Joe

  25. Let me see! Blaze Records sscored again on doing bad videos. Now he’s got 2 idiots up there trying to sing instead of one. Standing up there like you’re all that and screeching like a Screech Owl. The owl has more of a tune than you do.
    Show the pics of the car show and the crowds. I know what my private investigator told me.
    The only thing you’re doing a good job at is humiliating young women with no talent.
    What is even more sad is that Renae and Champagne Dream are co-sonspirators in the demise of Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese and they don’t even know it.
    Also I would think that they would have more sense to than to even do the last two videos, and also would have more sense than to think that someone in East Liverpool, Ohio is actually a record label.
    We’ve already told you girls that he is a phony. Which one is sleeping with him tonight? He’s just using you to get what he wants. When it all comes down, you wil be so sorry. Until then, have fun girls. It will be shortlived.

  27. Let me see! Blaze Records sscored again on doing bad videos. Now he’s got 2 idiots up there trying to sing instead of one. Standing up there like you’re all that and screeching like a Screech Owl. The owl has more of a tune than you do.
    Show the pics of the car show and the crowds. I know what my private investigator told me.
    The only thing you’re doing a good job at is humiliating young women with no talent.
    What is even more sad is that Renae and Champagne Dream are co-sonspirators in the demise of Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese and they don’t even know it.
    Also I would think that they would have more sense to than to even do the last two videos, and also would have more sense than to think that someone in East Liverpool, Ohio is actually a record label.
    We’ve already told you girls that he is a phony. Which one is sleeping with him tonight? He’s just using you to get what he wants. When it all comes down, you wil be so sorry. Until then, have fun girls. It will be shortlived.

  29. Let me see! Blaze Records sscored again on doing bad videos. Now he’s got 2 idiots up there trying to sing instead of one. Standing up there like you’re all that and screeching like a Screech Owl. The owl has more of a tune than you do.
    Show the pics of the car show and the crowds. I know what my private investigator told me.
    The only thing you’re doing a good job at is humiliating young women with no talent.
    What is even more sad is that Renae and Champagne Dream are co-sonspirators in the demise of Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese and they don’t even know it.
    Also I would think that they would have more sense to than to even do the last two videos, and also would have more sense than to think that someone in East Liverpool, Ohio is actually a record label.
    We’ve already told you girls that he is a phony. Which one is sleeping with him tonight? He’s just using you to get what he wants. When it all comes down, you wil be so sorry. Until then, have fun girls. It will be shortlived.

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  30. Let me see! Blaze Records sscored again on doing bad videos. Now he’s got 2 idiots up there trying to sing instead of one. Standing up there like you’re all that and screeching like a Screech Owl. The owl has more of a tune than you do.
    Show the pics of the car show and the crowds. I know what my private investigator told me.
    The only thing you’re doing a good job at is humiliating young women with no talent.
    What is even more sad is that Renae and Champagne Dream are co-sonspirators in the demise of Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese and they don’t even know it.
    Also I would think that they would have more sense to than to even do the last two videos, and also would have more sense than to think that someone in East Liverpool, Ohio is actually a record label.
    We’ve already told you girls that he is a phony. Which one is sleeping with him tonight? He’s just using you to get what he wants. When it all comes down, you wil be so sorry. Until then, have fun girls. It will be shortlived.

    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  31. Tupelo, Renae and Cd,. should also be sued! They know what they are doin. They are a big part of all the slander now. Making the video was a first class ticket to jail or a big fine.

  32. Tupelo, Renae and Cd,. should also be sued! They know what they are doin. They are a big part of all the slander now. Making the video was a first class ticket to jail or a big fine.

  33. I so concur Ohio Eye! They will most likely be a part of any lawsuit. What is so surprising is that they are so stupid as to do a video mentioning anyone’s name in the manner that they have.
    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  34. I so concur Ohio Eye! They will most likely be a part of any lawsuit. What is so surprising is that they are so stupid as to do a video mentioning anyone’s name in the manner that they have.
    By the way: Blaze Records USA/Tony Calabrese is a fake label and doesn’t know how to make videos or choose people who can sing. Champagne Dream can’t sing. Crap comes from crap and Blaze Records USA is crap.

  35. I know the difference between an ampitheatre and a pavillion…that flat piece of cement with a roof is NOT an ampitheatre…It is big but still not an ampitheatre. Theres no stage, no seating, just grass on some small hills, no parking…Ive been going to this park for years. and again…who the hell cares??

  36. I know the difference between an ampitheatre and a pavillion…that flat piece of cement with a roof is NOT an ampitheatre…It is big but still not an ampitheatre. Theres no stage, no seating, just grass on some small hills, no parking…Ive been going to this park for years. and again…who the hell cares??

  37. OMG this is the best, now Tony is fake reviewing his own failure of a show…
    Review of Triple Threat Concert Series by Chuck Henning/Tony Calabrese
    http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=502112099&blogId=534882857

    Seriously, who is he trying to kid? Renae and Champagne (if you are allowed to read this), can’t you see what he is doing by lying to us and YOU??? He’s making a mockery of music in general.

    A bit of advice to the young girls Tony is stringing along…honesty and hard work go a long, long way in this business. Integrity is hard but it’s very necessary to succeed. Don’t let this sleezebag run you into the ground. Look at how he treats CW now. Well he used to “love” her. He is a fickle little bitch and will turn on you the first time you question his motives. So I encourage you, QUESTION!!! Then you will see the real Tony. The real little girl that is Tony.

  38. OMG this is the best, now Tony is fake reviewing his own failure of a show…
    Review of Triple Threat Concert Series by Chuck Henning/Tony Calabrese
    http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=502112099&blogId=534882857

    Seriously, who is he trying to kid? Renae and Champagne (if you are allowed to read this), can’t you see what he is doing by lying to us and YOU??? He’s making a mockery of music in general.

    A bit of advice to the young girls Tony is stringing along…honesty and hard work go a long, long way in this business. Integrity is hard but it’s very necessary to succeed. Don’t let this sleezebag run you into the ground. Look at how he treats CW now. Well he used to “love” her. He is a fickle little bitch and will turn on you the first time you question his motives. So I encourage you, QUESTION!!! Then you will see the real Tony. The real little girl that is Tony.

  39. Champagne if you see this email the car pic to me at [email protected] Thanks again for everything. Can’t wait for the show at Docs. I put out the word for you about these nolifers and Donna is going to post it up on her friends facebook sites. Tell everybody hi and we’ll see you in a couple of weeks. tommy & donna potts

  40. Champagne if you see this email the car pic to me at [email protected] Thanks again for everything. Can’t wait for the show at Docs. I put out the word for you about these nolifers and Donna is going to post it up on her friends facebook sites. Tell everybody hi and we’ll see you in a couple of weeks. tommy & donna potts

  43. East Liverpool, Ohio LOVES Renae and Champagne Dream! Good job girls. Don’t pay no attention to these haters online. I’m spreading the word for you both. Thanks for the video invite. Donna Potts

  44. East Liverpool, Ohio LOVES Renae and Champagne Dream! Good job girls. Don’t pay no attention to these haters online. I’m spreading the word for you both. Thanks for the video invite. Donna Potts

  45. Donna Potts loves Mike Hawk! (and By Donna Potts I mean Tony Calabrese). GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! Tony loves Mike Hawk! Post some proof of your non-existent car show, douchebag!

  46. Donna Potts loves Mike Hawk! (and By Donna Potts I mean Tony Calabrese). GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! Tony loves Mike Hawk! Post some proof of your non-existent car show, douchebag!

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