The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

‘Gentleman’ Jim Moran Weeps For The Poor Wee Bureaucrat

Posted on | February 19, 2012 | 14 Comments

by Smitty

‘Gentleman’ Jim can be hard to understand at times. This blog will offer a running translation into non-bureaucrat, peon English as a public service.

Moran Smitty
“I appreciate the work of the conferees, but I oppose this conference agreement, not out of concern for the tens of thousands of federal employees that I represent, Listen, boys and girls, you may flatter yourself that you’re running the show, but who maintains the servers? Who keeps the supplies stocked? Who does the staff work? Mah peeps, that’s who. And if you think you can jerk them about without serious, yet purely accidental, consequences, you’re living in some 100+ year old Constitutional fantasy story.
but out of concern for the welfare of the great nation we serve. Now I’m going to say ‘we serve’ for the sake of that quaint Constitutional fantasy record, but don’t neglect to apply the Beltway Inversion and understand that to mean ‘which serves us’, or it’s going to get really ugly.
We are blessed with the least corrupt, most effective, least discriminatory, most responsive federal workforce in the world. As before, any of you mung-heads that don’t know I mean the precise opposite is probably a 2010 Tea Party freshman who should sit down and shut up. Should you survive re-election, you will be assigned a Special Re-education Camp date, where you can be ‘read in’ on precisely why you don’t mess with the bureaucracy.
And yet, how do we repay them? We are requiring them to increase their pension contributions by 400%, with no increase in benefits. Some of you really haven’t understood history since LBJ, have you? We drive this bus, and the American people either offer a simple, obsequious ‘thank you’, or they go under the bus. The drivers don’t pay to ride; they’re drivers. What part of this reality escaped you idiots?
So we are sending them a signal: ‘Sorry, we don’t really appreciate what you’re doing. You’re expendable. It’s a signal that will not be lost on the recruits that we desperately need in the future. Do you punks really want to see a traffic jam? Do you? You know darned good and well that if you want to see a job after you’re run out of office (as will not happen to me, by the way) or if you want a job for your little drooling idiot offspring, you’d better back off right now.
Let alone the hundreds of thousands, really, of federal employees who could easily be making more in the private sector. Because you know that if we have to make any adjustments, reductions-in-force, office closures, down-sizings, etc., we’re coming after your knucklehead friends first. The economy is parked in the toilet. If you like the bus, you had better quit rocking it right now.
The whole country is going to pay a price for the signal that this bill sends. That’s why I think we should defeat it.” You sunny beaches may be capable of starting a war, but my people will show you how to be twice as fast and three times as loud in begging for an end to it. You want to pick on somebody in a different seat on this bus, go for the military. Leave the drivers alone.

via Blue Virginia

Patrick Murray for Congress

Update: linked at The Daley Gator

Update II: linked at Red Alexandria and Daily Pundit

Previous/More Antics:


14 Responses to “‘Gentleman’ Jim Moran Weeps For The Poor Wee Bureaucrat”

  1. just a conservative girl
    February 19th, 2012 @ 9:02 am

    You know Smitty, there is a former Navy guy running against Moran in the primary.  I am thinking you and I should go knock on doors to get this man some respect.  Added benefit if he wins the primary is he will be easier for Murry to win against.   

    Win win is how I look at it. 

  2. smitty
    February 19th, 2012 @ 9:14 am

    Yeah, in a hyper-pragmatic way. Yet it seems less than forthright to me to go to somebody and say, yeah, I’m supporting you, but only to divide your party.
    Then again, I may vote for Ron Paul in the VA primary, just as the Not Mitt Romney of Convenience.
    Just goes to show why I steered clear of politics until 2007.

  3. Mike G.
    February 19th, 2012 @ 9:46 am

     That’s what The Daily “Cuss” advocated people do in the GOP open primary states…throw a monkey wrench into the works so to speak.

  4. just a conservative girl
    February 19th, 2012 @ 10:17 am

    I originally wasn’t going to vote in the primary, but have decided to go and vote Ron Paul as well.  Especially since our primary is proportional.  The more Ron Paul votes the fewer delegates go to Romney.  Since I am working towards being a delegate to the convention this summer I really don’t want to announce I support Romney on national television.

  5. Jim Moran’s Statement On Overpaid Federal Workers (Video) « Red Alexandria
    February 19th, 2012 @ 10:20 am

    […] Smitty @ The Other McCain has a great translation of Moran’s words. Click this link and […]

  6. Doug Hagin
    February 19th, 2012 @ 10:24 am

    Thanks Smitty! Good stuff!

  7. Moron Speak From Anus | Daily Pundit
    February 19th, 2012 @ 10:25 am

    […] Moron Speak From Anus Posted on February 19, 2012 7:25 am by Bill Quick ‘Gentleman’ Jim Moran Weeps For The Poor Wee Bureaucrat : The Other McCain […]

  8. SDN
    February 19th, 2012 @ 10:26 am

    Gentleman Jim is Exhibit A for why we need to set up something like a dipping vat in front of the Capitol so we can apply tar and feathers efficiently

  9. DaveO
    February 19th, 2012 @ 12:48 pm

    So how much moonshine did you have to imbibe to understand Moran?

  10. richard mcenroe
    February 19th, 2012 @ 12:58 pm

    Speaking as someone riz by Jesuits, it’s perfectly forthright of you to go door to door and say, “As a Navy veteran, I’m supporting so and so to remind folks of what the Democratic Party used to be.”

    Perfectly truthful statement.  Ah, “Mental Reservations,” gotta love ’em.

  11. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    February 19th, 2012 @ 1:10 pm

    Remember when Stacy said he was thinking he would be be better off running a fork lift than blogging?  Well maybe he would be better working in a minim wage job for a week a month and blogging the rest of the month…

  12. Jack Reno
    February 19th, 2012 @ 2:07 pm

    Moran makes me nostalgic for a good old fashioned Stalinist .38 purge of the the Politiburo.

  13. Mme Scherzo
    February 19th, 2012 @ 10:27 pm

    It was a very good year, and it’s an even better caliber.

  14. ‘Gentleman’ Jim Moran, Beta-Male Fascist : The Other McCain
    March 1st, 2012 @ 7:56 am

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