by Smitty
Everyone remembers Johnny Cochran wee jingle:
IF THE FACTS DON'T FIT, YOU MUST AGIT: #Prop => A George Zimmerman Prosecution Primer http://t.co/f8wQCSf0AN @instapundit
— Smitty, Chirpologist (@smitty_one_each) June 25, 2013
Category: humor
The Unlubricated Truth
It’s 3 a.m., and I don’t have a Mercedes sports coupe to take on a 100-mph joy ride, so why not get reckless on Twitter?
Alternate Headline: Lying Democrat Buttfuckers Pretend to Be Horrified by Anal Sex http://t.co/brMa9PyRN0
— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) June 21, 2013
My apologies for that last Tweet — the phrase "lying Democrat" was unnecessarily redundant.
— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) June 21, 2013
Nothing is more dangerous than the truth.
Except maybe what Democrats do with their butts.
Leaders: Some Shake, Others Quiver
World Leaders Pondering Hospitals
Now, Your Liberal Friend’s Problem May Not Be Quite This Obvious. . .
by Smitty
. . .but this clip captures the level of effort required to help them recognize
what is in front of their faces!
Going For The Presidential WKRP Ref
#JayCarneyExcuses Don’t Make Me Give You The Full Jessup Again
by Smitty
Is there an American who looks a bigger ass than Carney? None. None bigger ass.
#JayCarneyExcuses The vast right wing global fracking voter warming ethanol suppression conspiracy terrified my dog into eating my homework
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses Sorry, I was too busy reading the bill. Wait, not even I believe that.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses Can you repeat the question? Backwards? In Russian? With a hint of a French accent?
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses It is not my task to convey facts. It is my task to emit sounds, leaving the impression that facts may have been conveyed.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses Of course we’ve got al Qaeda on the run. In some rockin’ new Nikes. It’s a part of our Dignity Through Sports program.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses Wait, this isn’t 99 Bottles Of #Benghazi On The Wall? Because I swear you guys are in triple digits.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses I left my integrity in my other suit.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
Channeling Colonel Jessup:
#JayCarneyExcuses Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with evasions.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have greater dexterity than you could possibly fathom.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses You weep for Stevens, and you curse #OccupyResoluteDesk. You have that lux. You have the lux of not knowing what I know.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses That Stevens’ & other…deaths, while tragic…saved careers. And my existence, while grotesque…to you, saves careers.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses You don’t want the truth because deep down…you WANT me on this podium, you NEED me on this podium.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses We use words…honor, code, loyalty…as the backbone of a life spent defending…something. You use them as a #punchline.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses I won’t explain myself to a Twitterer who sleeps under the blanket of freedom I provide & questions the way I provide it.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses I’d rather you just said thanks & slammed the GOP. Otherwise pick up a copy of Dreams From My Father, and stand aside.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
#JayCarneyExcuses Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to, unless it’s buying Democrat votes.
— Smitty TheWackoBird (@smitty_one_each) May 10, 2013
My Wife: Scientific Proof
Just in case I’ve never mentioned it before — but I’m pretty sure I have — Mrs. Other McCain is one smokin’ hot babe:
Ah, back in the day, my friends — of course, I wasn’t too shabby myself back in the day. This isn’t just nostalgia, or a gimmick to make you hit the freaking tip jar — although, please do — but is instead a matter of science, based on a headline I saw today at Memeorandum, which tends to confirm my own extensive research in this area.
Wait, we needed science to tell us this? nbcnews.com/id/51469938/ns… Says the ugly guy with the hot wife and six kids …
— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) April 9, 2013
Ladies like a man with a big tip jar.