Category: humor

Sometimes you see an item and instantly think, “Wow, I gotta blog that, because this will be hilarious.” And so it was when I saw a weird bit of news from HuffPo, but then . . . blank.

Zilch. Zero. Nada. And I think the problem is that, once you’d read the item, there really isn’t anything you can add to it that would make it any funnier than it already is — that is to say, if you’re the kind of person who thinks it’s funny when a guy has to go to the hospital because he got a dildo wedged up inside his bunghole, then live-Tweets the process of having it extracted.

Did I mention there’s an X-ray?

UPDATE: OK, while I was caught jokeless, Ace of Spades was running a whole riff on Mister Bunghole’s Very Bad Day.

 

by Smitty

I’m trying out the word “choadtzpah” to characterize Sens. McCain & Graham’s perfomance=> pjmedia.com/instapundit/16… @instapundit #StandWithRand

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) March 8, 2013

 

I should probably take a moment to define “choadtzpah”:

Noun: whereas traditional chutzpah has a broad, general meaning of “gall, brazen nerve, effrontery, incredible ‘guts,’ presumption plus arrogance such as no other word and no other language can do justice to,” let’s narrow choadtzpah to capture the exquisitely “dick move” of rejecting transformational brilliance in the name of preserving a dying status quo.

For example, going out to dinner with the kind of President who is nothing if not a Constitutional wrecking ball, while a sincere, younger member of your party is laying it down, full-tilt boogie, on the Senate floor, defending that same Constitution “like a BOSS,” and then coming in the next day, trashing the brash young member of the party in some fit of geriatric pique.

Don’t know what rationale McCain and Graham have for their stunt, but I hope the blowback is instructive, and I hope that South Carolina rises up next spring and reveals Graham’s re-election war chest to be filled with so much potpourri. There needs to be some fear of the voters put into these Ruling Class Overlords, of both parties, insofar as the Progressive clowns on either side of the ‘aisle’ can be pried apart with less than a crowbar.

via Daily Caller

by Smitty

via Ace

by Smitty

‘Tis so sweet to trust in _____
Just to take ___ at his word.
Just to rest upon his ______.
And to know, “Thus _____ the _____.”

.@robfit There ????? is ??? no ???? #Benghazi ?? conspiracy ???????? Everything ?? is ??? fine ????????? trust ???? ur ???? Govt *wink* #p2

— John Fict (DD) (@JohnFict) March 2, 2013

I, for one really feel that I’m getting my _____’s worth from my government.

by Smitty

What’s on your menu? Just got off the phone with my health care provider asking them to explain why my premium jumped up. No good answer!

— Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) February 27, 2013

#DonnaBrazileMysteries Is the really lousy traffic in the DC area not a sign of a thriving economy?

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 27, 2013

#DonnaBrazileMysteries Why won’t the Republicans let Barack Obama stop campaigning, already?

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 27, 2013

#DonnaBrazileMysteries If I melt dry ice, can I make up for the lack of man-made global warming, as well as scuba dive without a wet suit?

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 27, 2013

#DonnaBrazileMysteries How do Shaggy & Scooby & Co. always know it was Mr. X, who ran business Y, and was trying to scare everyone off?

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 27, 2013

#DonnaBrazileMysteries The other sock. Why did George W. Bush hide it?

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 27, 2013

#DonnaBrazileMysteries If those evil oil companies pump all the oil out of the planet, will Earth become a honkin’ big raisin?

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 27, 2013

#DonnaBrazileMysteries If Al Gore re-invented government, and now we’re all gridlocked, do we need to bring back Al? With an Inter-internet?

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 27, 2013

#DonnaBrazileMysteries I left this pan of water on the stove with the burner on. I came back, and it was gone. Is Dick Cheney on the prowl?

— Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 27, 2013

Hat tip: Instapundit