Ace of Spades Really Hates Ron Paul, Endorses Re-Election of Barack Obama

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“I heretofore state I will not support, or vote for, Ron Paul, under any circumstances whatsoever.
“That’s where I’m coming from. Under no circumstances whatsoever will I vote for this reactionary, anti-semitic peacenik ‘We brought 9/11 ourselves’ pacifist Chomskyite crank.
“And I’ll say it: I will, yes, be amenable to Barack Obama being re-elected under those circumstances.”
— Ace of Spades

This seems to be turning into “Let’s F– With Ace” Week, so what the heck? Go with it. Having spent three months kicking Tabitha Hale in the shins — “Not Good Enough for BlogCon” — this wheel’s gonna keep on squeaking until some grease shows up.

Also, “heretofore,” Ace? Think you meant “hereby” or “henceforth,” but if the Valu-Rite Vodka says “heretofore” . . . Go with it.

Everybody knows I love Ace, so why am I doing this? Why would I push a running gag so far as to deliberately expose him to the vitriolic rage of the Paulistas who will flood his comments with fuming denunciations? A few possibilities suggest themselves:

A. It beats the hell out of finishing my long post about why you should hit my tip jar to send me to Iowa.
B. It beats the hell out of transcribing audio of the various interviews I’ve done recently.
C. It beats the hell out of soberly confronting the undeniably grim prospects for the Herman Cain campaign.
D. There’s no point traffic-baiting Allahpundit who, since becoming an employee of Salem Communications Inc., doesn’t give a damn anymore whether bloggers talk smack about him.
E. Admit it: “Let’s F– With Ace” Week is probably funnier than anything else I could be blogging about this week.

If you answered “All of the Above, But Mainly E,” congratulations: Put $10, $20, $50 in my tip jar and I’ll keep it up all week, just for fun and also to pay my way to Iowa. Because if you’re going to f–k around on a blog as a therapeutic escape from depressing realities, you might as well do it for profit. More f–king around after this ad for our Amazon “Black Monday Deals Week” specials.

See? I got no shame in my game, because Smitty reminded me last week why he’s willing to pay the blog-hosting fees out of his own pocket: It’s his patriotic duty to keep me online.

Smitty knows the backstory: In January 2008, the Washington Times announced that Wes Pruden would retire as editor-in-chief of the paper and be replaced by a guy from the Washington Post. And after this was announced to the newsroom, I went outside for a smoke along with one of our investigative reporters who said to me, “If I had wanted to work for a Postie, I’d have applied at the f–king Post.”

Bingo. That night, I went home and talked to Mrs. Other McCain, then sat down and wrote out my resignation. Ten years at the paper I loved — if I had stayed until the next anniversary celebration, four months later, they’d have given me a gold watch — and I just quit. Walked away.

As I wrote in my resignation, it was as if God said, “Go.”

Crazy? Yeah. But you can’t f–k me over and backstab my friends and expect me to stick around like I got nowhere else to go.

Over the course of the next year, after I quit a job that I had quite literally prayed to get, then went to Africa and came back, I spent out my 401(k) to cover the bills and — although not really expecting it to happen this way — turned this blog into something like a success.

Not a particularly lucrative success, mind you, but when it reached the million-hit threshold in February 2009, I celebrated by jocularly “explaining” how I’d done it, and thereby provided several other bloggers a blueprint for enhancing their own online footprint. Smitty joined up as co-blogger and converted us to WordPress by January 2010. Wombat came aboard last fall, and now here we are — as the fourth anniversary of my resignation from the Washington Times approaches next month — around 8.5 million visits into this unprecedented experiment in reader-supported online journalism.

Hit the freaking tip jar, my friends, so that when that anniversary arrives in January, I’ll be rolling on the campaign trail like the most amazing New Media rock star the world could ever imagine.

Because when I tendered my resignation, nobody asked me to stay. 

Many of my colleagues expressed regret at my departure, but management? Evidently, they deemed me worthless and expendable. And although I went out of my way to leave on good terms — bending over backwards not to burn a bridge — my former employer has subsequently treated me as persona non grata, so that no matter what exclusive news I report, or however many quoteworthy paragraphs I write for The American Spectator, the editors of The Washington Times are under strict orders that my name can never appear in the pages of the newspaper where I worked for more than a decade.

Vengeance as a career strategy is a theme I’ve been meaning to explore for a while, but that’s more work than I’d care to do today. The main points here are (a) hit the freaking tip jar, so (b) I can go to Iowa, and also (c) let’s keep on f–king with Ace.

Among the several debts of gratitude owed for the success of this blog, Ace is near the front of the long line of creditors, because when I was stuck at a desk in the newsroom all those years, AOSHQ was not merely a source of news and humor, but a beacon of hope and inspiration: “Hey, if worse comes to worse, I could get myself one of those ‘blog’ doohickeys and be a funny guy on the Internet, too.”

Not exactly a lucrative career, as I have subsequently learned, but a career nonethless, even if there is zero prospect of my ever becoming an employee of Salem Communications Inc. like that exemplary Christian role model, Allahpundit.

Zing!

Anyway, when I started this post, what I actually meant to do was to use Ace as the bumper for a two-way carom-shot excuse to embed Ron Paul’s anti-Gingrich video:

Vengeance as a career strategy, et cetera: “Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining,” and while some of our pragmatic friends are trying to convince conservatives that we should let bygones be bygones, The Raven is calling Newt’s name. The payback bill has come due and no sophisticated arguments about strategic pragmatism are going to stop me from seeing that the full sum is collected.

“A Road Man for the Lords of Karma.”

(Say, did I ever tell y’all about the time the Washington Times put me on six months probation because of something I wrote about Ralph Reed? No? Remind me to tell you that story one day.)

Where there is life there is hope and, if Herman Cain decides to pack it in — or if his staffers screw me over again like they did Tuesday — I’m prepared to climb off the Cain Train and jump aboard the Santorum Express, which might surprisingly become a last-minute juggernaut screaming across the snow-covered plains of Iowa with the unstoppable momentum necessary to wreck all the plans and prognostications of the punditry who are now portraying the Republican presidential campaign as a Newt-vs.-Mitt dilemma.

Don’t say it can’t happen, because I’m here to tell you: It can.

That’s a guaranteed fact, Jack. And you can take it to the bank, because I’m a professional, neutral and objective journalist.

Now, hit the freaking tip jar.

 




UPDATE: “Save me a seat on that f–king bullet train to awesome!”

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73 comments

  4. Like it means anything to declare you will never vote for a candidate who has absolutely zero chance of winning the nomination on his best poll number days. I could say the opposite, that I would definitely vote for Ron Paul over Obama. It’s just as meaningless as it is true.

  7. Paul would be a foreign policy disaster, even more than Obama because the world would know in advance that he wouldn’t do anything to advance American interests.  But at least he wouldn’t be attempting to rule by decree, EO, edict, and regulation, and he might find enough support in Congress to sustain his spending vetoes, so on balance he would certainly be better overall.

    Of course, I have already stated unequivocally that I will vote for our nominee against Obama even if we nominate Gary Johnson’s neighbor’s dog’s poop, so it should be obvious I would vote for Paul.

    I might have more enthusiasm for the poop, but I’ll be there to vote against Obama.

  8. The “Santorum Express” – now that’s a good one.  I can see the two-man pump action car now.  Watch out for the quicksand, though – Blazing Saddles was a morality play.

  9. So Ace’s whole “pragmatism” thing was a lie?
    Obviously it was.
    I have not paid attention to Ace since his great Christine O’Donnel freak out.
    Sending the Paulites to Ace might be kind of mean, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

  10. I recall the grief the Ronulans created in 2008 across the blogosphere; and their behind-the-curtains maneuvering to ensure Senator McCain got the nomination. Paul loves treachery. It’s why his constituents keep sending him to DC: to keep him far far away from them.

    I’m 100% with Ace on this one.

  11. You could write a pretty entertaining blog post expounding on that thought. I’ll give you an hour, and if you don’t I will.

  12. Smart move sending all your Paulian commenters over to Ace.  I’d make it a regular feature of the blog.

  18. I like Ace but he’s over the top on this one.  Paul is a fine patriotic man even if he see’s things a little differently because of his principled and eccentric libertarianism.

    Of course he is not going to be elected, he’s too far out of the mainstream – the beltway-Wall Street Republican’s would be against anyone with his views (besides Paul’s views, his poor TV personality would keep him from being elected in any case).  That’s no reason to get all goofy over him and the silly folks who think he’s just groovy.

  19. The communists are in charge of the Defense Department. By communists, I mean the Federal Reserve Banking Cartel. The past 50 years of “foreign policy” have been a complete cluster.

    “American interests” in Orwell-speak means doing the bidding of Goldman Sachs and friends, ya’ll know that right? Gen Butler sure did.

  21. Republicanmother? The only people I ever hear speak approvingly of old Smedley is the folks at Kos and the Dem Underground.  Come to think of it, I think you would probably be pretty comfy over there. By the way, did that imaginary army of a half a million ever show up?

    America got over the ‘America Firsters’ and their cousins in the Bund right around 12/7/41. Rep Paul can join them on the ashheap of history.

  22. Voting Obama over Paul is over the top.  At least Paul seems to pay at least some lip service to the Constitution, which I don’t see Obama doing (for that matter, some of the other Repubs don’t seem to care for that document either).  Granted, his foreign policy is a bit alarming — but then again he is an ideologue and most importantly he is not privy to some of the intel (that might change his approach a bit, if on the very unlikely chance that Dr. Ron could manage to win the election).  Obama IS privy to the intel and he still makes a bollocks of it (as do some of the Repubs).  Therefore: Ace is not only hysterical but being an idiot on this — Paul would likely be much better than Obama.

    I’d be happy to don the garb of a Paulista and raise some hell over there; heck I could even go for talking up Santorum too (at least he is fairly conservative and I won’t feel dirty by talking him up)  — unfortunately I’m banned at that site (saying unflattering things about you know who ruffled a few feathers).

  24. My response to Ron Paul at the top of the ticket would be the same as for pretty much any other person.  Vote against Obama and expend my energies and resources creating wins further down ticket.

  25. I almost totally agree  with Ace on Ron Paul… but lost me quick when he got to the part about acquiescing to an Obama 2nd term. 

    I’d vote for Jerry Sandusky if that’s what it took

  27. I’ll vote for anybody but Barack Obama.  Barack Obama is destroying America and we need to stop him.  Four years from now we can find someone who is more of a purest on principles to challenge whoever ends up in the White House but for now we need to save our economy from going over the cliff and kicking Obama out office will start the process to save our country from being “fundamentally transformed” into some type of socialist utopia.  

    Even Mickey Mouse could do a better job of running the country.  

  29. Well that is what Ace is saying, isn’t he?  Or is he saying he would vote for Barack Obama? 

    I would vote for Ron Paul if he were the nominee.  I would also vote for Stacy McCain if he were the nominee (provided Smitty was the Veep and Wombat was Chief of Staff).  I think the odds of voting for Ron Paul or Stacy at the top of the GOP ticket are almost mathamatically equal.  About the same as me hitting the big win in Powerball or Mega Millions. 

  30. If Huntsman wins the nomination…I would probably vote third party (would it even be third party at that point?).  That means something too. 

  31. I wish Huntsman would do better, just because I figure he’d draw support from Romney. I think that’s probably the reason he’s running anyway. I’ve been wondering if there’s some bad blood between those two families. And frankly, I’m not so sure Huntsman wouldn’t be better than Romney on most issues, like the Second Amendment. But that’s another case of idle speculation, because he’s not going anywhere either.

  33. Careful, whatever political ideology Maj. General Butler was, or whatever ideology his fans are today, the man’s record was (and still is) pretty d***d impressive, still a wonder of the USMC to this day.
    And considering his record…well, if anyone saw firsthand American adventurism it was Maj. General Butler.
    Sometimes our foreign policy, especially how we use our troops, has not been wise, nor even clearsighted.

  34. My humble and unworthy advice to him might be to sit back and consider just why his guy’s miserable failures seem to stick (at least he’s beginning to admit that his guy has been a bit of a miserable failure).

    For the record, I find Perry to be a disaster in the making: I ‘ve looked at his record and seen his performance on the campaign trail.  He’d likely ensure  an even worse and more lasting drubbing of the GOP than Bush did in 2006.  Honestly, the country does not need that.
    And something about that big prayer rally of his right before his announcement (coupled with his peculiar announcement) was, to sound all touchy feely here, a bit creepy. 
    I was as interested as anybody in him prior to that — but the circumstances surrounding his announcement made my hackles rise —  haven’t liked him since (perhaps Ace should give some credence to why some people had those sorts of “gut” reactions).

  35. Sounds like fun, but I put the Ass of Spaze in the box with his butt-mates Chuckie and whatzername Sullivan.

    Spend much more of my time on that lot of losers and I’ll find room for you.

  36. Careful Stace.

    Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets removed from it’s axle and discarded.

    Jyou don’ get no steenking greese!

  38. Sheriff Joe Arpaio endorsed him today, so evidently he sees a lot of good in him. Or, maybe  Perry’s backers have agreed to donate to his own re-election. But he does make a good case for Perry, and I doubt anybody would be willing to call Sheriff Joe a RINO. For damn sure I wouldn’t call him that to his face.

  39. But it is good to be kept up to speed on what other influential bloggers are saying, and Ace is influential. Maybe not as much as he thinks he is, but certainly a hell of a lot more than most.

  42. I like Ace, but I wish he wouldn’t constantly beclown himself with the Anti-Paul crap. Oh well, As Paul says, it’s really not about him, but the ideas. If the rest of the field wants to rip off 80% of Paul’s ideas from 2008 while influential establishment types bash Paul for their own cynical reasons, that’s their problem.

    Paul certainly has his shortcomings, and maybe if you disagree with him strongly on foreign policy you are *passionate* about some of those shortcomings– but honestly, he has a lot of strengths possessed by few if any other candidates in the field. 

    I’m not into excommunicating people from the conservative movement (even if, like WFB of old I had the power to do so), but if you’d prefer Obama to Paul, I think your conservative bonafides are seriously questionable.

  44. No, it really is about Paul personally. His ideas are not his own, and not even original. He has one item on his agenda: audit the Fed. And then what? Then there’s the people Paul is calling his friends and allies. His associations with neo-nazis and white supremacists is bothersome.

    Personnel is policy. If Paul is surrounding himself with folks who’ll stab any back, crap in anyone’s bowl of Cheerios, what will Paul and his personnel do to America when given the reins? The same thing.

    Paul’s personnel remind me very much of Obama’s coterie, but instead of Macy’s, Paul got his crowd at the Blue Light Special.

  46. Gee Dawn, 
    Sounds like you need to get out more! I plead guilty to being America First. I have the audacity to think that when you put American troops into something, you do it to win and not piddledick around.

    By the way, for your education, General Smedley Butler was the highest decorated Marine in history and it is a fact that his balls were made of pure brass. When he tells us that the people on top giving the orders are full of bankster *^$%#, I believe him.

    You seem more like a liberal to me. That’s what I find hilarious, all these “conservatives” clinging to a liberal foreign policy cooked up by people obsessed with eliminating American sovereignty. 

    Check out my blog sometime for the brass tacks on what I assert.

  47. You’re right about that, its very ironic indeed. I figure I’m more libertarian in my foreign policy beliefs as well, but where I and the Paulistas part company is over Middle East issues.

  48. The white supremacists support Paul primarily because of his opposition to the fed and his bullshit beliefs in going back to the gold standard. Paul might well share their hangups about the Rothschildes as well, but I honestly don’t think Paul is racist, or even particularly antisemitic.

  49. That’s where I’m of the opinion that his MidEast policy might change a bit if he was privy to some of the intel.

    Then again, our policy right now isn’t working out all that well (and to back up my comments: I’ve had and have some serious skin in that game…ever since Gulf I and still going — I’m shall we say, a bit worn down and disillusioned at this point).

  50. I thought about the “Ron Paul” or “X” dilemma recently.

    I was totally surprised that I went with Paul.

    I realized that, despite how incredibly f*cked up his foreign policy is, we could tolerate four years of it.

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