Your Vagina Is Sudetenland, and Other Helpful Advice for Young Ladies

Posted on Comments

Pete Da Tech Guy calls attention to my comment yesterday about the totalitarian impulse of the boner: Young women who think they can negotiate with the erect penis are in a situation very much like Neville Chamberlain trying to appease Hitler.

All wise young ladies understand this and, with thousands of young ladies about to head off to college as freshmen, there is no better time to remember this valuable lesson. That nice well-mannered college boy you just met? He may seem harmless, but his penis is an SS Panzer division, ready to conquer lebensraum for the volksreich.

Unless a woman is willing to cede her territorial sovereignty — sexual anschluss, as it were — she must strive to avoid diplomatic isolation: Don’t ever let yourself be maneuvered into being “alone together” with any guy you don’t plan to have sex with. If you’re attending a college with coed dorms, either insist on off-campus housing, or transfer to another school. Coed dorms are taxpayer-funded rape factories.

A college girl might as well cuddle up with a rattlesnake as to assume she can trust a 19-year-old-boy to respect her. Are there decent and trustworthy 19-year-old guys out there? Sure, but they look exactly like every other adolescent creep, and the minute you get one of them aroused, there isn’t much difference between (a) the mild-mannered “nice guy” and (b) every other teenage rapist on the planet.

Here’s my advice, ladies: Don’t just play hard to get, be hard to get.

Be as fiercely independent as Switzerland.

Did I ever mention that my eldest daughter got married about two months after she graduated college? You could ask her (or her husband) the entire story of how that happened, but one Christmas he gave her pearls when she had been expecting a diamond, so she broke up with him. As much as she cared for him, she was willing to walk away rather than to be kept dangling on a vague hope of a promise.

They were married about a year-and-half later.

Think about it,  and don’t let those Panzers near your border.

 

102 comments

  3. And remember dads, ALWAYS be cleaning the most fearsome weapon in your arsenal when your little girl brings home that teen-age Panzer-gruppen. Better yet, give it to her as her going away to college gift. Better than any rape whistle.

  7. While I certainly don’t poo-poo women exercising caution in certain circumstances–I have a college aged daughter myself– I question whether your post inadvertently plays into the hands of those who believe the fiction that “all men are rapists.” I am not by any means conceding that males are incapable of exerting self-control. To suggest otherwise is merely to rehash the tired illogical rhetoric of the Amanda Marcottes of the world.

  8. And remember even the guys who want to be honorable are getting pressure from the dishonorable ones to prove their manhood

  11. you raised your daughter to be a hypergamous vulture and she ended up marrying a Beta male incapable of game.

    and you’re proud of it.

  14. I think he raised her to know her own mind and to honor that and respect herself. If you are a woman who wants to have sex with different men, so be it. If you are not, and want commitment and marriage before you engage in an act that can change your life if you get pregnant, what’s wrong with that?

  15. Are you kidding me? Romeo was the captain of the school soccer team and the most popular boy in her class. He recognized my daughter’s genuine superiority, against which no player could game.

  16. Hey, how do you think Lou Ann got me?

    Twenty-four years of marriage and six children. I’d say it worked perfectly.

  24. All men are not rapists, but all college boys are fizzing hormone grenades. Remember some of the dumb crap you pulled when you got your own car keys for the first time?

  25. True story: My daughter, when she was twelve, brought her not-boyfriend into my house after she had gone rollerskating with him. He had walked her to the door and she brought him in to introduce her to Mom (She was scared to introduce him to me. Something about shooting the first one or some such nonsense). I had gone to play airsoft earlier that week and had left my airsoft M4 bb gun out and, being the lazy slob I am, neglected to put it back in the basement. He took one look at it and exclaimed “He really was planning on shooting me!” I thought it was funny.

Comments are closed.