Your Vagina Is Sudetenland, and Other Helpful Advice for Young Ladies

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Pete Da Tech Guy calls attention to my comment yesterday about the totalitarian impulse of the boner: Young women who think they can negotiate with the erect penis are in a situation very much like Neville Chamberlain trying to appease Hitler.

All wise young ladies understand this and, with thousands of young ladies about to head off to college as freshmen, there is no better time to remember this valuable lesson. That nice well-mannered college boy you just met? He may seem harmless, but his penis is an SS Panzer division, ready to conquer lebensraum for the volksreich.

Unless a woman is willing to cede her territorial sovereignty — sexual anschluss, as it were — she must strive to avoid diplomatic isolation: Don’t ever let yourself be maneuvered into being “alone together” with any guy you don’t plan to have sex with. If you’re attending a college with coed dorms, either insist on off-campus housing, or transfer to another school. Coed dorms are taxpayer-funded rape factories.

A college girl might as well cuddle up with a rattlesnake as to assume she can trust a 19-year-old-boy to respect her. Are there decent and trustworthy 19-year-old guys out there? Sure, but they look exactly like every other adolescent creep, and the minute you get one of them aroused, there isn’t much difference between (a) the mild-mannered “nice guy” and (b) every other teenage rapist on the planet.

Here’s my advice, ladies: Don’t just play hard to get, be hard to get.

Be as fiercely independent as Switzerland.

Did I ever mention that my eldest daughter got married about two months after she graduated college? You could ask her (or her husband) the entire story of how that happened, but one Christmas he gave her pearls when she had been expecting a diamond, so she broke up with him. As much as she cared for him, she was willing to walk away rather than to be kept dangling on a vague hope of a promise.

They were married about a year-and-half later.

Think about it,  and don’t let those Panzers near your border.

 

102 comments

  1. Actually, I had a father who told me that any crap would result in losing the keys. Silly me. I believed him. I also respected him too much to try anything. He also taught me how to behave toward women.
    “Fizzing Hormone Grenades” while true, perhaps, is no excuse for not exercising appropriate self control. Self-control and discipline separate us from animals, and I will not concede that ground. As I said earlier, it give ammunition to the other side. It is a trope based upon the fact that fathers these days do not teach their sons how to be men with chests, to borrow from C.S. Lewis. And that does not mean screwing everything that moves.

  2. Hours and hours ago, Stacy puts forth a fantastic morality analogy AND metaphor in one post, using the Wehrmacht as the platform, and I have yet to see ONE “blitzkrieg” joke.

    Bummer.

  6. But you never want a girl with too much Lebensraum one time it was like trying to conquer Russia in there!

  7. As a former young woman, I reckon it’s not fair to the guy to make him have to resist the urge to merge any more than necessary.

    Most young people don’t realize that their ability to control their urges only works up to a POINT, and then the whole enterprise switches to autopilot, shuts down the inhibitions, and gets busy with its Prime Directive, regardless of whether it’s a good idea.

    Best not find out where that point is the hard way: avoid the opportunity, avoid the temptation, avoid the unhappy ending. The cliff just isn’t worth getting that close to.

  8. It is more complicated. The Sudetenland was the part of Czechoslovakia where most Germans lived, so it is fair to say that a part of it wanted to be taken. Your advice to girls should be to conquer your inner Sudeten-German so that Czechoslovakia can remain free.

  9. “but his penis is an SS Panzer division”

    Ah, the benefits of being older. Mine is an entire army group…

    What?

  10. Years ago (pre-9/11) there was a university math professor at a Canadian school who was pressured into early retirement after writing an opinion peice much like this. As a throw away point, he explained that the fact that men may not all be rapists but are all potential rapists was the reason why civilized countries like his had women wear the face veil. The feminists were outraged because he told women they should never have males in their dorms or they’d get raped and the feminists didn’t want some man limiting their freedom. At the time I was insulted that men should be viewed so hatefully without that even being part of the controversy. But I have come to terms with the fact that this is a society wide view and not some fringe belief from a distant land.

    It is fascinating how traditionalists (Christian, Muslim, whatever) and feminists are united on the view of men as sub-humans who have a responsibility to serve women.

  13. Spoken like the dad of a pretty teenager. Reminds me of the description of teen boys on Red State Update as “A half-mustache and a hard-on”, who “if you let him put something between your legs, sumpin’ gonna come out ‘tween your legs nine months later and CRY for TWO YEARS.”
    A woman playing a German military character said in character “I’m bored”, so I quietly said “Nothing sexier than a bored German woman, because you never know what she’ll do next. You can at least be confident it will be done with precision and great force”. She laughed.

  15. You can never tell the other country not to give up to you the women have to do that the men can’t do that for them…

  21. Might backfire poppa. Think – all the hopped up guys may be more than willing and able to take on elderly cats in the A wolf alpha wolf game. Instead, do like my folks did – if they liked a guy they acted like they couldn’t stand him – if they didn’t like a guy – they acted like they were crazy about him. Reverse psychology – nicht wahr?

  22. but one Christmas he gave her pearls when she had been expecting a diamond, so she broke up with him.

    Far be it from me to be rude about someone’s daughter but something about this little morality tale has the ring of “we’ve already established what you are, now we’re just haggling over your price”.

  25. That would just be stupid. Fat, middle aged middle class White guy afraid of prison intimidate a PUA playa?

    Hahahahaha.

    A real playa will be nailing said daughter in every way at first meet within six hours or so. Johnny Goodboy Fumblefingers meanwhile won’t even get a date. Dads can’t control daughters or bad boys unless said Dad is a mobster unafraid of serious jail time and we all know it.

  29. The truth is that it is women who make the decision about when she will have sex. Men have very little say. (Ever turn down a woman? They get really p.o.ed) So your darling little girls need to be taught about male sexuality. The truth is that young men, <25, make pretty poor husbands. Women should look to marry men 8-12 years older if they want to find someone who shares similar relationship goals because women have a much shorter time to start a family.

    P.S. I wonder what Vox Day would thing about this.

  31. Market economics is the best way to understand the mating process. Women are the supply side of the equation, men are the demand.

    If women make the supply plentiful, men have no incentive to bid high. Even if any individual woman is chaste, her value in the mating marketplace is diminished if other women are promiscuous. Therefore, the stigma attached to female promiscuity — e.g., by the word “slut” — is most often (and most vehemently) expressed by women, derogating those whose behavior tends to diminish all women’s value.

    This common-sense understanding of sexuality has for decades been assailed by perverts and intellectual malcontents of various sorts, so that common sense is far less common than it once was. Our culture has become toxic, and there is so much hostility between men and women that love has been replaced by Fear and Loathing.

  32. Rather than bristle with paternal indignation, I’ll tell you that It was really rather touching — and quite enlightening. Imagine a college junior receiving a genuine pearl necklace for Christmas and, rather than being overjoyed, breaking down crying that she had not received the engagement ring she had hoped for! And as I say, she was willing to walk away, so that Romeo had to fish or cut bait.

    Among the benefits of premarital chastity is that chaste romance empowers women in this way.

    Never negotiate from a position of weakness.

  34. I hate to say it, but, this just makes her sound spoiled. If I bought a pearl necklace for a lady, and pulled a stunt like this I wouldn’t look back.

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