Leftist propaganda webesite [email protected] was humiliated today when a bug in their anti-Second Amendment screed generator script triggered an accidental posting following the Antares rocket explosion at Wallops Island, Virginia.
Sissypuss the Blog Kitty, quick to spot a red herring, managed a screencap before the mistake was taken offline:
Working his extensive source list, he caught up with script whiz kid Ezra “EZ” Kleindrubble in EZ’s mother’s suburban Denver basement.
Sissypuss: That burning smell. Is that what I think it is?
EZ: Wha? Oh, that’s the, um, neighbors. They’ve been partying more or less continuously since that far-out new law was passed.
S: Right. Now, what do you know about the anti-Second Amendment effort in this country?
EZ: Oh, that rich dork from New York, Michael Blooper. He’s throwing all kinds of money around. So, like, this chick at CU Denver in my Comp Sci course is all like: “Dude, you really know Python. How’d you like to score a little cash and help the cause?”
And I’m all: “No way.”
And she’s all: “Way.”
And I’m all–
S: So, she gave you some requirements?
EZ: Dude, you’re missing the part where I tried to make a pass at her and she showed me a stack of forms and I was all: “No way.”
S: And she was all: “Way”?
EZ: Dude, were you spying on me?
S: Let’s just say you that read like a lousy blog post.
EZ: Yeah. Anyway, so I’m like hacking on any major tragic event, lifting out keywords, matching them against a database of crappy phrases they gave me, and presto: your last six months of MSNBC. How’d you like my Ferguson, Missouri work?
S: [puking sounds] Sorry about the hairball there in the middle of your roaches, man.
EZ: No worries. They give us all the dope we can smoke, as long as we keep the propaganda coming.
S: So, that’s an encouragement. What made your code blow up like the Antares rocket at Wallops, then?
EZ: Oh, probably some regular expression cock-up. “Strings will hang you,” as they say.
S: Do they? What about S@lon’s vaunted “layers of fact checkers and editors”?
EZ: That bunch of Haighters? They haven’t even shown up to work since last spring, for all they answer the phone. I just have my scripts generate content, and up it goes.
S: That explains much. What about the vaunted Joan Walsh?
EZ: She never recovered from that time John Travolta hit her in the sternum with the horse needle.
S: Dude, that’s a scene from Pulp Fiction.
EZ: Where do you thing Tarantino gets his crazier ideas?
S: I’d have said Valerie Jarrett.
EZ: It’s certainly not rocket science.
S: No, and neither is code. Look: you’re a techie. Why do smart, capable people support moronic ideas like smoking dope and eliminating the Second Amendment in the first place?
EZ: Dude, man: capitalism is like work, or something.
