The Kind of Blog Post That You’re Thankful Someone Else Wrote

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South Carolina conservative blogger Will Folks confesses to having once, er, dated the married Republican gubernatorial candidate he’s been promoting:

Several years ago, prior to my marriage, I had an inappropriate physical relationship with Nikki.

Dude. Republicans already treat bloggers like whores, metaphorically. Now they’ll actually be expecting us to put out.

For the record, Nikki Haley calls this accusation “categorically and totally false.”

Bloggers just makin’ stuff up? I thought that was the media’s job.

At any rate, if GOP candidates think they can impose on me for sexual favors — trying to cop a feel in the backseat, telling me that they’ll “respect” me in the morning — they’re sadly mistaken. I’m not one of these blog-floozies like Will Folks, who lets sex-starved Republican women use and degrade him to satisfy their depraved lust.

Rumors that bathroom walls throughout South Carolina are scrawled with graffiti declaring Will Folks to be  “a dirty little GOP whore-boy” have not been confirmed. Yet.

UPDATE: Brian O’Connor at Red Dog Report:

[T]hese rumors do seem to be perfectly timed to take advantage of Haley’s popularity in the polls and recent Palin endorsement, to maximize the number of hits to Will Folk’s website.

Hey, I’ve got nothing against maximizing the hits, but there are limits even to my shamelessness. (You’ll notice I never actually posted the Hannah Giles bikini photo.) As to the Folks-Haley rumor, Erick Erickson sums it up best:

It’s a Rule of Nature: Hot Women Don’t Have Affairs With Ugly Poor Guys

The brutal truth. And despite my fabulous wealth and notorious Speedo, I’ve managed to avoid any compromising situations with the hordes of love-crazed blog-groupies who stalk me like teenage girls following the Jonas Brothers.

UPDATE II: If Disney’s looking to do a movie about this story, Dan Riehl’s got a title:

Honey, I Schtupped the Candidate

Starring Rick Moranis as Will Folks!

UPDATE III: Melissa Clouthier:

As usual, Stacy McCain makes me laugh.

Dr. Melissa has also managed to resist the love-crazed blog-groupies.

UPDATE IV: Thanks to the Associated Press, we now have this photograph of Will Folks, a.k.a., Deuce Bigalow, Blogger Gigolo. The AP reports:

In an exclusive interview with The Associated Press prior to his blog post, Folks would not discuss details of the relationship.
“I’m not going to paint pictures,” said Folks, who gave the interview on the condition his statements would not be published before he went public.

Right. And if the Associated Press starts asking questions about rumors that I had an “inappropriate relationship” with Alyssa Milano’s Twitter feed, I’m not going to “discuss details,” either.

Don’t judge me!

Does Congress Know What It’s Doing?

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A Rasmussen poll finds that seven out of 10 likely voters said “nuh-uh” when asked, “How confident are you that Congress knows what it’s doing when it comes to addressing the country’s current economic problems?”

Of those surveyed, 29% said, “Not very confident,” while 43% said “Not at all confident.” (Evidently, “Are you freaking kidding me?” wasn’t one of the options.) But what about the people who said they were confident in Congress is dealing with the economy? Doug Bandow has questions:

Who are the other three of ten, and, more important, why are they allowed to vote? Especially the six percent who are very confident that Congress knows what it is doing. The latter folks desperately need professional help. And they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a ballot box!

The depressing thing is that these demented fools evidently constitute 53% of the electorate in Pennsylvania’s 12th District.

VIDEO: A Mosque at Ground Zero?

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Another great ad from Alabama, this one from 2nd District Republican candidate Rick Barber:

Excerpts:

“We weren’t attack by a nation. We weren’t attacked by ‘terror.’ We were attacked by Islamic jihadists. . . . Jihad threatens our freedom, our families and our way of life. . . . Islamic jihadist pose a clear and present danger to American freedom and to the very existence of the state of Israel. . . . Now Muslims want to build a mosque just two blocks from where the World Trade Center once stood. When’s the grand opening of this Ground Zero mosque? September 11, 2011. This is unacceptable. There is a difference between tolerance and surrender. . . . If we don’t start electing leaders who recognize the enemy, call them by name and stand up against them, then surrendering is exactly what we are doing.”

The Alabama primary is June 1. To learn more, visit his Web site:

RICK BARBER for U.S. CONGRESS

VIDEO: Les Phillip Swore to Defend Against ‘Enemies, Foreign and Domestic’

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Wonder who he has in mind on the domestic front? Here’s the Republican candidate for Congress in Alabama’s Fifth District:

Marc Ambinder predicts that this will be the political ad everyone will be talking about this week. The transcript:

This is the story of two young men.
One fell in with left wing radicals.
The other immigrated to America.
While one played with terrorists and allowed his America-hating pastor to baptize his children, the other joined the Navy to defend his country.
I love America, but President Obama is ashamed of it. I’m going to Congress to help stop him from destroying our nation. And they’re not going to call me a racist.
I’m Les Phillip and I took an oath to defend this country against enemies, foreign and domestic. And I approve this message.

Do you approve this message? Let him know:

LES PHILLIP for U.S. CONGRESS

UPDATE: Now a Memeorandum thread. One of my friends on Twitter said, “I don’t know what’s in the Alabama water but they need to bottle it and pass it to the rest of the us.” This ad was produced by Ladd Ehlinger Jr., who also produced the Dale Peterson ad, which may have just lost its status as Best Political Ad Evah!

UPDATE II: In April, I covered the 5th District Republican candidates’ forum in Huntsville. The primary is June 1 — a week from Tuesday. It’s a tough three-way contest for the GOP nomination, and there will likely be a runoff, which would be held July 13.

Governor Brewer Could Not Be
Reached For Comment
UPDATE: Bubba, Too?

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by Smitty

American Power reports on Mass. Rep. Michael Moran, rear-ended by an apparently illegal alien.
Past the snarky title, let us:

  • Not rejoice in anyone’s misfortune, and
  • Note that drunk driving is a huge part of the case.

That said, it will be interesting to watch this “unfortunately undocumented societal victim of Bush-era injustice” move through the system.

Since it is difficult to pursue journalism while pandering, I’d expect this story to get rear-ended by a propaganda-drunk media.

While the so-called elite continue to pile on Arizona over SB-1070, more states line up to follow, and the Administration shows exactly 0 capacity to reflect  and alter course, one wonders which unfortunate incident will push the whole situation over the edge.

Update: (via Lucianne) ABC Reports that Bill Clinton’s van was also rear-ended while en route Yale. We must dispatch Da Tech Guy STAT to get to the bottom of this rash of tail-chasing smacking the cheeks of these public figures in the Northeast. Could it be a Belvedere-ian plot?

Summarizing Morrissey’s
DNI Replacement Post

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by Smitty

Ed offers some fine detail on why Dennis Blair ejected:

The problem stems from a poorly designed reform of the American intelligence community, provided by the 9/11 Commission and adopted by a too-credulous Congress under political pressure. Prior to that, the CIA director was the head of all non-military intelligence, both gathering and analysis. The 9/11 Commission decided not to streamline intel by putting all of it in one structure but to create another two levels of bureaucracy and put the DNI in charge of the entire mess.

However, in charge turns out to be something of a misnomer. The DNI is nominally in charge of the national intel center created in the overhaul, but as Blair discovered, not much else. Blair famously lost a power play with Leon Panetta last year after Blair wanted to reassign some of the positions in the CIA, laboring under the delusion that Panetta worked for the DNI. Panetta, a long-time power player in Washington DC, ended up winning that battle at the Oval Office level, leaving Blair emasculated. He wound up in charge of just enough to take the blame for the failure to stop three terrorist attacks in the last six months, but not quite in charge of enough to have prevented them through his own efforts to remake US intelligence.

Under those conditions, who in their right mind would want to replace Blair? It’s not just thankless, it’s powerless as well. The Obama administration should rename it the Scapegoat Secretary for some honesty in advertising.

The Obama administration gets the blame for putting itself in this position, but they shouldn’t get all of it. Congress needs to revisit its poorly-conceived reform of the intelligence community and start over from scratch.

Here is the rub:

BUDGET

We have 16 entities within the Intelligence Community. If the DNI doesn’t own the SIS and SES weenies at the tops of those 16 outfits, and the DNI does not, then DNI means “Demonstrates Negligible Influence”.

Part of the challenge here is that, unlike much of the function of the Department of Education, the IC is a legitimate Federal task, and among the original self-licking ice cream cones.

For the DNI to be meaningful, he has to be given the capacity to trim budgets and staffs at the various IC outfits, the POTUS has to be willing to offer the high cover, the Congresscritters can’t dictate via appropriation/authorization committees, and the voters have to support reductions in Federal IC money, call it “spooky bacon”, coming to their districts.

So, I’ve laid out roughly four overlapping impossibilities for you; such commitment and leadership are not to be found at any level.

You’re welcome.

Rule 5 Sunday

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by Smitty

The big news this week was that Miss America beauty pageant, and something that could be an escape from politics became, sadly, and exercise in politics.
It recalls that SNL sketch from a few years back where they had an interview show talking to all of the people who had wrecked it for everyone else, i.e. making Halloween dangerous.
Thanks, creeps.

  • The Pirate’s Cove has a patriotic pinup, getting ready for the 4th of July, no doubt. How many Stars and Stripes will be worn to Mexican schools, one wonders?
  • Waxing Erratic had another fine roundup of cuddliness, some furrier than others.
  • Bob Belvedere had the usual assortment of high style:
  • The entire blogoverse had to talk about the new Miss USA, Rima Fakih. She’s got a “past”, and may have benefitted more from politics than talent in her selection. But at least she was selected in time for Everybody Draw Mohammed Day. So we had that goin’ for us.
    • Michelle Malkin led off.
    • Left Coast Rebel was more interested in Miss Oklahoma.
    • Uncoverage was more interested in Rima’s Pole-ish culture studies.
    • The Pirate’s Cove had a roundup.
    • Gateway Pundit brought in the Miss OK “WTF does this AZ question have to do with a beauty pageant” clip.  OK’s answer apparently wasn’t. . .kosher. Hoft then picked up on the pole dancing angle.
    • The Classic Liberal requested the removal of politics from pageants. Are we expected to factor out money as well, and judge solely on liberal and classic values like talent?
    • Cassy Fiano recalled how politicized the preceding year’s contest had been. Note to Cassy: why don’t you bring in a marksmanship competition for Miss USA?
    • Smash Mouth Politics brings Throbbing Justice to bear on the Rima case. Good taste never stood a chance.
    • The BlogProf noticed that Rima would wear a Native American costume, vice cowboy attire, to represent the US. Does that mean she’d arrive dressed as a casino dealer? He then picked up on the promised investigation into the pole dancing by the Miss Universe pageant. What isn’t clear is whether the BlogProf promised to conduct the investigation himself, his planned methodology for the research, and when the ‘raw’ data may be available for peer review. Important academic questions. BlogProf also linked the Throbbing J clips.
    • Little Miss Attila took a day off for ‘research’. Possible BlogProf collaboration?
    • Knowledge is Power tacitly admitted that the bikini, too, is power.
    • BlackFive offers a disc-lame-er, emphasis mine:

      She is smokin’ and since she has been parading around in public in a bikini, isn’t that a good example and a knee to the nads of those burqa promoting wankers? More bikinis, fewer burqas. Muslim hotties rule!
      This is my contribution to our hearts and minds outreach campaign and not simply an excuse to post that picture.

      I’d say that Uncle Jimbo veered in the direction of Holderism with that last sentence, but he’d dribble me like a basketball.

    • TrogloPundit is refreshingly frank/dank: “I just wanted an excuse to google a few beauty queens, which sounds awfully dirty when you put it like that.”
    • American Power supported Miss Okie and, by extension, Governor Brewer all the way.
    • Atlas Shrugs looks at Rima, and, well, shrugs:

      UPDATE: Jason in the comments. Bingo, Jason:
      Hopefully every young Muslim girl will now tell her parents “I want to grow up and be like Rima.”

    • Allahpundit, whom you would expect to say something interesting here, opted for Miss OK instead.
    • Proof Positive had a long white dress shot.
    • Power Line featured the thoughtful review:

      So, to sum up: Rima Fakih is a worthy winner of the Miss USA title. I, personally, would have selected her over the runner-up on pulchritude alone. So no serious injustice was done this year, in my view. Going forward, pageants should stop asking contestants–especially selected contestants only, while others get “world peace” questions–questions to which the answers are needlessly controversial and likely to play to the judges’ own prejudices. No one who attends a beauty pageant has the slightest interest in the judges’ political leanings.

      As for Miss Fakih, we would be happy to suppose that she represents the “moderate Islam” for which the world has been waiting for some years now. Perhaps so. But, by her own account, she is part Christian, too–maybe that’s the moderate half. So we can only hope that she has ample bodyguards when she shows up for the Miss Universe pageant.

    • GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD raises the issue of for whom Rima really works.
    • Nation Of Cowards gives Morgan Elizabeth the full treatment.
  • Israelly Cool had a picture of the other Lady Arab newsmaker, whose hands appeared a trifle swollen from delivering a beat-down to a member of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice.
  • At The Point Of A Gun explores the “Offend a Feminist” angle.
  • Manolo swears that Martha Stewart is holding a poncho, but she hasn’t explicitly denied that she’s helping with the Deepwater Explorer cleanup, so I’m not sure. A large pair of glasses and dark hair were also seen actually wearing a poncho, making Kim Kardashian at least believable.
  • The Daley Gator has had a top #25 babes of all time countdown underway:
  • Big Journalism undvered some in-bed-edness at ABC with Bianna Golodryga.
  • Irish Cicero brings us architecture and a hottie.
  • GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD has That Which Eric Holder Fears Most X2. The reaction to the Dennis Blair retirement seems to be PTFB (press the figurative button). She always has great captions, like a messy Megan: “Great Satan loves Hiz’B’Allah! They taste like chicken!”
  • Left Coast Rebel has a hottie that is not associated with the Italian Tea Party (wouldn’t something with espresso be more in keeping?). Also, LCR reports on Bono’s back injury, with a photo explaining why that’s “Bono” and not “nooB”.
  • The BlogProf did take his eyes off of Rima, probably over some wings.
  • Yankee Phil notes that Bristol Palin is engaged in straight-ahead capitalism on the speaking circuit. She could prove an interesting speaker. Whether Bristol could work at Hooters is a separate question.
  • American Power features Hugh Hefner, a man straddling the line between Rule 5 and hedonism. Not sure which side the hula hoop chick lands. Douglas also featured Sela Ward, motivated by the Daley Gator.
  • Dustbury recalls international diplomacy’s finest 5?8? woman and her 5?10? legs. Also, an interesting note on what a bizatch life can be. And then this daring rumor-monering about Campbell Brown. Wow. Meredith Viera also makes an appearance. What a news-oriented blogger, that Dustbury.
  • Daniel Foster at NRO, suspects Steve McQueen of the recent Paris art heist.
  • RebootCongress a loyal reader, points to hotties in Thailand on Michael Yon’s facebook page. Yon merits your support.
  • Proof Positive celebrated Katherine Hepburn in vintage mode, and Scarlett Johansson, both redheads, at least occasionally. Also there was a hooters post. There was another PETA post, but, really: Shirly Manson holding up an illegal immigrant like that is only going to cause the Left to implode.
  • Fausta has come up with a great solution for annoying relatives–chuck ’em out a plane! OK, that’s about the most radical possible mis-interpretation of the link. How about a tango reclama?
  • Fishersville Mike cools his jets, to the apparent chagrin of Yankee Phil.
  • TrogloPundit is tracking the Megan-to-Hayden switch at the Transformers franchise. Does Hayden look like Bristol Palin, or what?
  • House of Eratosthenes notes, with approval, that Ace of Spades is picking on Valerie Plame.
  • Three Beers Later brings out an old clip that reveals he both (a) played some mean maracas, and (b) used to hand out with Benny Hill. Oh, and the obligatory Juliana Moreira.
  • A Conservative Shemale points to a big cushion for the final ending of the Fed, when all things must halt.
  • New Rule 5 celebrant What the…?! brings you Julia Benson.
  • The Eye of Polyphemus needed some extra Scarlett Johansson, and also has an all-time favorite list.
  • The Mind Numbed Robot brings you Daisy Fuentes.
  • The Classic Liberal features Grace Park in one of his most instructive posts ever!
  • Irish Cicero the Younger brings a fine roundup.
  • Left Bank of the Charles features a ritual catfight in Harvard Square. “I’m more Progressive!” “No, me!” OK, it’s not like that, exactly.
  • Smash Mouth Politics whines “Anybody else noticed how difficult it is to find a hot chick who has not already been the subject of a Rule 5 post?” but comes up with Doutzen Kroes. See, sometimes it good to be the aggregator. . .

Rule 5 Sunday thanks the beauty in the world and the readers. Stay lovely out there!