Crimson Tide Heading Back
to Sweet Home Alabama

COSTA MESA, Calif. — National Champions depart for the airport:

On the video you hear the Westin Hotel guard acknowledge that the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) was providing protection for the Crimson Tide during their stay in Southern California, just as US Customs and Border Protection was guarding the Rose Bowl during the BCS.

Deploying the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) in defense of Alabama’s football team strikes me as a waste of taxpayers’ money. If Alabama could beat Texas, they could defeat al Qaeda. In fact, Coach Saban may want to send The Tide to Yemen for spring practice. The ‘Bama defense made Tebow cry, then they knocked out McCoy. For their next trick, the can tackle Anwar al-Awlaki.

This mad scheme to destroy the terrorists was hatched Wednesday at a gathering of bloggers in Redodo Beach led by notorious neo-con Donald Douglas of American Power blog. Thanks to JSF for providing the neutral, objective analysis in the video.


Kudos:

No Sheeples Here for support above and beyond the call of sanity.
No Sheeples Here
No Sheeples Here rocks Alabama
Dan Collins for putting Stacy up to the trip. Mrs. The Other McCain will reward you separately, assuming you remain within the 48 contiguous states. This does not constitute a legal notice.
Piece of Work in Progress
Piece of Work in Progress hatches gonzo schemes.
(Note from Smitty: this post reprises our madcap video of trying to un-b0rk Stacy’s left-leaning post. He’s dictated it over the phone, and I’ve done my best penance to capture his words, after wrecking the site for a little while this afternoon.)

Charles Johnson: ‘A Fat, Bloated, Beady-Eyed Jerkoff’

So says Zip of Weasel Zippers, describing with brutal objectivity the subject of a puff-piece column in today’s Los Angeles Times. (Via Memeorandum.)

Smitty may have more to say about this later. I’m in Costa Mesa this afternoon with JSF of Valley of the Shadow, and just wanted to get up a quick note about this. I woke up at 6 a.m. today on JSF’s sofa in Burbank and went for breakfast at Eat N’ Park (“Best Omelettes in Burbank”), picked up the paper to see their coverage of the ‘Bama Championship Show and — wham! — here was 1,200 words of journalistic fellatio.

The MSM knows who their friends are, and so Johnson’s self-serving version of his departure from the Right sanity is given no critical scrutiny by L.A. Times columnist James Rainey.

Hey, James: Why didn’t you ask Charles about his vicious attacks on Pamela Geller, Robert Spencer and other anti-jihad bloggers? Better yet, James, why not ask Pamela and Robert themselves? They’re not nearly as reclusive as the paranoid agoraphobic wanker you managed to interview in person.

Exit question: Why is the media biased against Alabama?

UPDATE: JSF points out the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot factor: Of all the bloggers in L.A., why did Rainey decide to profile Johnson?

Live: The Triumph of the Tide!

12:41 a.m. I’d like to extend gracious condolences to Texas fans. I’d like to, but . . . ROLL TIDE! And don’t forget to hit the tip jar!

12:06 a.m.: Alabama intercepts again. That’s your game, folks! The crowd in Pasadena goes wild! ROLL TIDE!

12:02 a.m.: Trent Richardson TD. Extra point misses. Alabama 37, Losers 21 with 47 seconds to play.

MIDNIGHT: Javier Arenas intercepts. It’s all over now.

11:54 p.m.: TOUCHDOWN! MARK INGRAM! ROLL TIDE! 2:01 to play. Extra point good. Alabama 31, Losers 21.

11:48 p.m.: ‘Bama defense forces a fumble. Tide recovers at the Texas 4 yard line.

11:47 p.m.: Alabama punts. Texas takes over at their 7 yard line with 3:14 to play.

11:35 p.m.: Texas TD pass. Two-point conversion good. Alabama 24, Texas 21. Hmmmm.

11:28 p.m.: With Texas fans Brad and Cheryl:

11:23 p.m.: Alabama misses a field goal.

11:12 p.m.: We go to the fourth quarter. Roll Tide!

11:11 p.m.: Texas punt puts Alabama at its own 6 yard line.

11:08 p.m.: Texas recovers an onside kick. Maybe this game isn’t over yet.

11:06 p.m.: Texas scores on a touchdown pass. Fans cheer. Extra point good. Alabama 24, Losers 13.

11:03 p.m.: JSF just commented: “Once Colt got knocked out, that was it. [Texas] had no contigency plan.”

11 p.m.: Colt McCoy isn’t crying. Yet.

10:54 p.m.: My Twitter buddies are talking about a streaker at the Rose Bowl. Wasn’t me. I have remained fully clothed. Excuse the long delay between posts. Somebody found out I worked for a political magazine and wanted to argue. I don’t think it was Patrick Frey, but . . .

10:51 p.m.: During halftime, my son Jefferson called to say of the first quarter, “We let ’em win for a while, just so our comeback would be more glorious.”

THIRD QUARTER: If “the eyes of Texas are upon you,” ‘Horns, they’re pretty embarrassed right about now.

HALFTIME:

JSF of Valley of the Shadows at the Sports Desk.

Kobe Beef Sliders: Official BCS Dinner. Official BCS Waitress Melissa just ended her shift and closed out the tab for $44.65. I tipped her $7. Hit the tip jar.

10:03 p.m.: ‘Bama defense strips the ball from Texas backup QB Gilbert, runs for a touchdown! Extra point good. Crimson Tide 24, Losers 6.

9:59 p.m.: Field goal! Alabama 17, Losers 6. The Burbank ‘Bama Brigade is cheering loudly here.

9:53 p.m.: Texas faces 4th and 6th at their own 6. Punting from their end zone. Returned by Alabama to the Texas 29.

9:51 p.m.: Alabama punts, pinning down Texas at their 2 yard line.

9:50 p.m.: Alabama’s running game now dominating. I’ve said all along the Tide should stick to the running game. Blog buddy JSF of Valley of the Shadow just said, “They heard you down in Pasadena.”

9:47 p.m.: Javier Arenas intercepts!

9:41 p.m.: TOUCHDOWN! ROLL TIDE! Upchurch runs 48 yards. Extra point good. Alabama 14-6.

9:37 p.m.: Texas forced to punt. Tide takes over at Texas 49.

9:36 p.m.: My friend and tip-jar hitter Victor Morton is a Texas fan. Because he hit the tip jar, I’m obligated to feel sorry for him, but not Colt McCoy.

9:32 p.m.: Alabama punts. Third beer arrives, courtesy of Melissa, the Official BCS Waitress of The Other McCain.

9:26 p.m.: Alabama’s defense forces Texas to punt. The formerly boisterous Texans here are strangely quiet.

9:20 p.m.: TOUCHDOWN INGRAM! ROLL TIDE! Extra point good, Alabama 7, Losers 6.

9:15 p.m.: Mark Ingram puts the Tide first and goal as the first quarter and my second beer come to an end.

9:14 p.m.: Texas penalized, for solicitation of sodomy, I think.

9:12 p.m.: Ingram runs for a first down.

9:10 p.m.: Without Colt McCoy, Texas evidently has no offense.

9:06 p.m. There are Texas fans here in the Gordon Biersch brew pub in Burbank. Patterico should have them investigated for hate crimes.

9:04 p.m.: Alabama’s defense is awesome. The offense finally got a first down.

9 p.m.: Texas QB Colt McCoy has been injured. Longhorns again settle for a field goal after an Alabama turnover. Texas 6, Alabama 0.

8:55 p.m.: Shout out to American Freedom blogger Barbara Espinosa, a Texas native who is not to blame for the inferiority of the Longhorn football team.

8:54 p.m.: Alabama defense forces the team with ugly cheerleaders to settle for a field goal.

8:53 p.m.: GOAL-LINE STAND!

8:51 p.m.: Texas loses a touchdown on a penalty. BTW, you can follow the National College Football Trash-Talking Championship on Twitter.

8:46 p.m.: Excuse the long silence. Some other team now has the ball.

8:43 p.m.: Greg McElroy throws an interception. ‘Bama’s offense so far: More suckage than Charles Johnson.

8:41 p.m.: PENALTY! We wuz robbed!

8:39 p.m.: Javier Arenas took the kickoff and failed to score a touchdown. Slackin’ off a bit.

8:37 p.m.: The coin toss: An Alabama victory!

8:35 p.m.: BTW, all times are Eastern. I refuse to reset my watch to Left-Coast Crazy Time.

8:34 p.m.: The national anthem. Your Official BCS Waitress just brought me my second Official BCS Beer.

8:32 p.m.: The Crimson Tide takes the field. Grown men gasp in astonishment. Women tremble with delight!

8:22 p.m.: Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to introduce the official waitress of the 2010 BCS liveblog, Melissa:

8:15 p.m. — The University of Alabama Million Dollar Band is now performing, and triumphing victoriously over every other band in the universe.

BURBANK, Calif.
We’re liveblogging the ‘Bama Championship Show (BCS) which is at the Rose Bowl in nearby Pasadena, while we’re at the world-famous Gordon Biersch brew pub in beautiful downtown Burbank, having been denied media credentials by Stephanie Montano, obergruppenfuhrer of the collegiate football oligarchy. If Charles Johnson wants to find fascism in America, the BCS fascisti are a good place to start.

I will be assisted in this effort by JSF of the Valley of the Shadow blog, on whose sofa I’ll be crashing tonight. Standby for exciting updates about the Crimson Tide’s unstoppable surge to the 13th national championship in Alabama history . .

The Right-Wing Blogosphere’s Official BCS Pre-Game Show

We’ll be live-blogging as soon as the ‘Bama Championship Show (BCS) begins (8 p.m. ET, ABC), but first we bring you this pre-game show, recorded yesterday at the BCS media headquarters in Newport Beach:

Hanging out with the Crimson Tide trainers: Matt Price, Vernon, Ala.; Bryant Swindle, Tuscaloosa, Ala.; Jonta Pritchett, Jackson, Ala.; and Clay Keith of Toccoa, Ga.