‘Alabama Deserves Better’

A congressman under investigation for insider trading? Suspected of enriching himself in office? Say it ain’t so, Spencer Bachus!

The New York Times reports:

In Alabama, Representative Spencer Bachus, chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, is squaring off against State Senator Scott Beason, an architect of Alabama’s tough illegal immigration bill, who is running as the “true conservative” in the race. But two other challengers are also in the race, and Mr. Beason has to hold Mr. Bachus, a much better-funded House veteran, to below 50 percent of the vote to force a runoff April 24.

Expectations, Inc.

Ed Morrissey on tomorrow’s primaries in Alabama and Mississippi:

Gingrich really needs to win both states to remain in the race, or split them with Santorum at worst case. If Romney wins in Alabama, he can claim to have won in every part of the country, while Gingrich can’t even claim to have won all of the Southern states that he feels is his natural base.

Ed suggests that the Rick Perry VP trial balloon was an attempt by the Gingrich campaign to boost Newt’s support with “very conservative” voters, many of whom once supported Perry.

Given the relative paucity of polling data, the evident closeness of the race, and the level of volatility, it is very difficult to make any prediction beyond “too close to call.”

We know that late-deciding voters are highly suggestible and subject to bandwagon appeals to vote for the candidate they perceive to be the eventual winner. That factor favors Romney, and if it weren’t for the fact that Santorum is being hit with negative ads from every direction (including the pro-Gingrich “super PAC” radio ads I first heard two weeks ago in Michigan), I’d be tempted to predict a third-place finish for Gingrich in both Mississippi and Alabama.

Because there is no way Newt can actually win the nomination, I’d say a vote for Gingrich is a vote for Romney, except that keeping Newt in the race might, by some unforeseen future turn of events, result in Romney being deprived of a majority of delegates going into the convention. Every delegate Romney doesn’t win — no matter whether the delegate is for Gingrich, Rick Santorum or Ron Paul — increases the possibility of a non-Romney candidate getting the nomination in that political wet dream, the “brokered convention.”

“Brokered convention” is, like “beautiful nymphomaniac,” too much of a fantasy to be believed. Political journalists dream of brokered conventions the way teenage boys dream of smokin’ hot babes who just can’t get enough, but in all honesty, which one are we more likely to encounter in Tampa in August?

Yeah: Tampa’s going to be crawling with sex-crazed hotties, except they’ll all be hookers whose ability to simulate erotic enthusiasm is a requirement of their profession. Nevertheless, there will certainly be GOP convention delegates willing to pay for that kind of fantasy-fulfillment action, although it’s highly improbable the delegates will then be so gracious as to fulfill the “brokered convention” fantasies that excite the press corps.

Michael Steele is just teasing us with this “brokered convention” talk, and I’m resisting it the way Republican primary voters are resisting Mitt Romney: Sure, they would like to believe he’s really conservative, just like a GOP delegate might wish to believe that hooker in Tampa is really hot for him — the fulfillment of his adolescent fantasy — but the motives seem rather suspicious.

However, this is not to say that there is no such thing as a beautiful nymphomaniac. After all, I married one. But I’m not sure that has any relevance to the GOP presidential nomination campaign.

UPDATE: King Shamus fears the fantasy:

The fear of a brokered convention forcing the party to put up a weak candidate against President Obama is too horrible for many GOPers to even contemplate.

Look, Shamus: If you think there’s a chance of the GOP putting up a strong candidate, could you please explain that to Karl Rove? Because Karl keeps going on TV to tell millions of Fox News viewers that Mitt Romney’s got this thing locked up.

The possibility that a brokered convention could result in Republicans nominating a weaker candidate than Romney is something that hadn’t crossed my mind. Now that you mention it, though, I suppose Jon Huntsman might be available . . . 

But don’t worry about it, Shamus. All this talk about a “brokered convention” is one of three things:

  1. Liberals messing with our heads by suggesting that the Republican Party is about to collapse in ruins;
  2. Mitt Romney’s supporters threatening us with a nightmare scenario if we don’t vote for Mitt; or
  3. Political reporters talking about their fantasy the way some bloggers talk about Christina Hendricks.

Uh . . . NTTAWWT.

If Rick Santorum Wins Kansas …

. . . it will add to the valuable perception of renewed momentum he got from his strong showing on Super Tuesday, when he won primaries in Tennessee and Oklahoma, as well as the North Dakota caucuses, came within 1% of Romney in Ohio, and ran a strong second nearly everywhere else. And it looks like Santorum is the overwhelming favorite to win Saturday’s Kansas caucuses:

Long-shot Newt Gingrich, weak outside the Deep South, dropped plans for a six-stop swing Friday and Saturday through Kansas. The former U.S. House speaker from Georgia is gambling a couple more southern states — Alabama and Mississippi — can sustain his quest for the nomination.
Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, who remains front runner for the GOP presidential nomination, is uninterested in the Kansas caucus. He won’t personally chase Kansas’ 40 delegates to the GOP national convention.

The key thing here is that Gingrich is not campaigning in Kansas because he’s been forced to fight in Alabama and Mississippi merely to maintain whatever semblance of “viability” Newt’s got left, which frankly isn’t too damned much.

So if Santorum wins Saturday, both Mitt and Newt will try to pretend it’s irrelevant, but a Kansas win would add weight to the perception of Santorum as the conservative alternative — “a two-man race” with Romney, as he says — and thus should boost his numbers in Alabama and Mississippi by a few points. I say all that as a precursor to talking about the polls, which must be taken with a grain of salt.

Unlike Iowa or New Hampshire, where you had lots and lots of polls to compare and try to spot the trend, there have been very few polls in Alabama or Mississippi. It is therefore necessary to say that we can’t tell if the Rasmussen poll of Alabama, showing a virtual three-way tie between Newt, Mitt and Rick, will bear much resemblance to the vote totals on Tuesday. And I’m highly skeptical of the Rasmussen poll of Mississippi, showing Mitt with an eight-point lead.

Remember this: Polls are a lagging indicator in politics. This is why it helps to have a lot of polls bunched up together in a sequence, so you can attempt to plot a trend and extrapolate forward. We don’t have that in this case, so we are in some sense “blind” to what’s happening in Alabama and Mississippi. (I haven’t seen any polls from Kansas at all, but the fact that Newt and Mitt aren’t campaigning there is an obvious sign that Santorum should do well.)

We are merely speculating, therefore, to consider this scenario: Santorum wins Kansas, bumping up his numbers in Alabama and Mississippi, where it is entrely possible that Newt could finish third — and that, my friends, would be the end of Gingrich. It would be bad enough for Newt, who has staked his entire campaign on doing well in the South, to finish second in either of Tuesday’s primaries. But a third-place finish on “home turf” would be the kind of humiliation the Gingrich campaign could not survive.

My buddy Quin Hillyer lives in Mobile and has been covering Santorum’s campaign down there and quotes Alabama Policy Institute president Gary Palmer about Santorum’s speech there: “He looked presidential — he really connected with the audience.” Quin also relates how Santorum stopped a speech to help a lady who fainted.

Santorum’s creating a good impression in Alabama, it seems, and so if we can take the speculation a step further — not a prediction, mind you — think about this not-too-extreme possibility: Santorum wins Kansas on Saturday, then wins Alabama and/or Mississippi on Tuesday, and Gingrich finishes third in all three states. The narrative then would be?

Santorum the Newt-Killer Emerges
as Last Remaining Conservative
Opponent to Moderate Mitt Romney

Just speculation, as I say, but you can see why it may have been too early for Mitt’s boys to say only an “act of God” could stop Romney from winning the Republican nomination. And it looks like Mitt may be having some money troubles.

UPDATE: Press release from the Santorum campaign:

KANSAS CITY ROYALS ALL-STAR MIKE SWEENEY
ENDORSES SANTORUM FOR PRESIDENT

Verona, PA – The Rick Santorum for President campaign is proud to announce that it has received the endorsement of All-Star Major Leaguer Mike Sweeney.
Mike Sweeney said: “I take great pride in the success I’ve had on the baseball field, but even greater satisfaction in knowing that I have spent my entire life embracing Godly principles and instilling these values into the everyday lives of my children, family and friends. After personally getting to know Rick Santorum, I am absolutely convinced that he is the only candidate in the 2012 Presidential race that shares these same core values! The moral decline of our great country must stop now and this can only be achieved through real leadership and real solutions. I believe Senator Santorum has the wisdom, passion and vision to bring our country back to global excellence with those core Christian beliefs that our Founding Fathers envisioned, including protecting the rights of the unborn child, in mind. This election is the most important in my lifetime and as a father, husband, and American I am proud to play on Rick Santorum’s team!”
Mike Sweeney was a five-time Major League All-Star, with a career batting average of .297 and over 200 homeruns. Sweeney played for four Major League teams, including over a decade with the Kansas City Royals. Sweeney is very active in the Kansas City community, supporting various organizations like the Boys and Girls Club of Kansas City and Children’s Mercy Hospital. Sweeney is also the advisory chairman of the Catholic Athletes for Christ and a spokesman for Life Teen, the largest Catholic youth ministry program in the United States.

Over at the New York Times, Nate Silver is counting delegates and projects Mitt Romney getting to barely 50 percent — 1,162, or 18 more delegates than the nominating majority. While I can’t quibble with Silver’s math, the problem is that what he has done is an extrapolation of current trends, which is OK so far as it goes, except that no mere extrapolation can predict future evenst.

Go back to early December, when Santorum was in sixth place in the Iowa polls. No expert at that time would have given two cents for Santorum’s chances of winning Iowa, much less would the experts have predicted that Santorum would be Romney’s strongest remaining rival after Super Tuesday.

What happened? Events happened, events that no one expected in early December. And while no one can deny that, as the situation stands now, Romney is the near-prohibitive favorite to be the nominee in Tampa in August, we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the day after that, much less what’s going to happen between now and the Texas primary on May 29.

Oh: Texas was originally scheduled to vote on April 3, but a lawsuit about re-districting pushed it back to late May — another one of those “events” no one predicted three months ago. It always pays to be careful about predictions in politics, because events happen.

RECENTLY:

 


How Many GOP Delegates in Oz?

An important question, because Newt is not in Kansas anymore:

The Gingrich campaign is cancelling all Kansas events to focus on Mississippi and Alabama. KS caucuses Sat. Miss, Ala primaries Tues.

That’s via Twitchy, a new social-media site that I learned about via Bob Belvedere at Camp of the Saints, who got it from Michelle Malkin, who has hired many excellent people to run it. But never mind the celebration — back to the news, via the Washington Post:

Newt Gingrich is canceling campaign events scheduled for Kansas at the end of the week to shore up support in the Deep South. The former House speaker plans to pour his time and resources into Alabama and Mississippi.
“Everything between Spartanburg all the way to Texas, those all need to go for Gingrich,” said campaign spokesman R.C. Hammond.

Also more at The Hill. There’s trouble in Newtland, boys and girls. There are 40 delegates at stake Saturday in Kansas, but Newt is forced to forfeit that fight in order to defend his “home turf” in the Deep South. Why? Because Rick Santorum’s wins Tuesday in Oklahoma and Tennessee showed that Gingrich might be more vulnerable in the South than he had previously suspected.

Gingrich’s string of third- and fourth-place finishes Tuesday have not only marked him as the weakest candidate in the field, but have prompted questions about his motives for continuing his campaign. In an excellent post at Commentary, Bethany Mandel asks:

What price tag does Gingrich put on the free publicity he’s garnering while he remains in the race? Is it high enough to forfeit what he’s claimed is the Republicans’ only chance at victory in November?

Once people start talking smack like that about your campaign, the fundraising tends to dry up and — no matter how determined you may be to carry on — the financial issues become problematic. Meanwhile, Santorum’s starting to close the money gap with Mitt Romney:

So far in 2012, for every $1 that Santorum has raised, Romney has raised $1.31 ($13.5 million for Santorum, $17.7 million for Romney). For every $1 that Santorum raised in February alone, Romney raised $1.28 ($9 million for Santorum, $11.5 million for Romney). Moreover, February was not Romney’s biggest fundraising month, while Santorum raised more in February than he had in all previous months of his campaign combined.

Team Mitt says it would take “an act of God” for Romney to lose the nomination. I’ll keep an eye out for plagues of locusts, rivers of blood and, quite possibly, another earthquake in Vanuatu.

UPDATE: Holy Freaking Crap! No sooner had I posted this than I was informed on Twitter by Steve Eggleston that there has just been a 5.1 earthquake in Vanuatu. Watch out, Mitt!

Rick Santorum Dodges an Issue?

HOLLIS, N.H.
Last night was probably the toughest night for me since I’ve been on the campaign trail. Why? Because I was on deadline in Manchester, while my four sons were at home watching our beloved University of Alabama Crimson Tide play for the national championship against . . .

Well, some inferior third-rate trade school from Baton Rouge whose name escapes me.

At home, Mrs. Other McCain was serving snacks, and my sons — 19-year-old twins Bob and Jim, 13-year-old Jefferson and 11-year-old Emerson — were reveling in the Glorious Triumph of the Tide. I should have been there with them and, although we occasionally exchanged phone and text greetings of “Roll Tide,” the mental weight of my looming deadline was a distraction, and as the evening went on, I became more and more depressed. Not even Alabama’s 21-0 shutout of the Inferior Third-Rate Trade School From Baton Rouge — the mighty Crimson Tide defense held them to a mere 92 yards — could lift my despairing spirit.

I blame Florida for this.

The vicious Romney-loving bastards in the Florida GOP who jumped up their primary to Jan. 31 not only ruined Christmas, they also prevented me from being home to watch ‘Bama with my boys.

“Why Does Florida Hate America?”

Distracted and depressed, I attempted to cheer myself up. At Rick Santorum’s final pre-primary rally, I asked him for a small favor:

RSM: Can I get a ‘Roll Tide’?
SANTORUM: No.
RSM: No. Not a ‘Roll Tide.’
SANTORUM: I learned something about taking no sides.
RSM: You need those LSU fans.
SANTORUM: I love Alabama —
UNKNOWN VOICE: He’s hurting after that Steelers loss.
SANTORUM: I loved my time in Alabama, but Louisiana has been very good to me.

What kind of squishy moderate Romney-esque flip-floppery is that? What happened to “The Courage to Fight”?

America leads bold leadership, Senator!

A depressing night all around on the campaign trail, when even a staunch conservative like Rick Santorum wouldn’t give me a “Roll Tide.” But tomorrow, I’ll be heading back home for a couple days of rest before I travel to South Carolina. And perhaps my loyal readers can take a bold stand to do something to cheer me up: Hit the freaking tip jar!

Today’s News of the Weird

From Alabama, with love:

A conservative Christian politician has a secret life as a sperm donor for lesbian couples – even though he has campaigned against gay marriage.
American politician Bill Johnson has spent most of this year in Christchurch [New Zealand] helping run the earthquake recovery, all the while using the online persona “chchbill” to meet women who want help to get pregnant.
Under that persona, he has discussed making donations to at least nine women without the knowledge of his family in the US.
Three of the women are now pregnant, and Johnson has assisted another three with donations in the past month. It is believed he has been in communication with at least another three women to discuss sperm donation.

Wait — it gets weirder:

He moved to Christchurch after the February quake without his wife Kathy, a two-time Mrs America finalist who has three children from a former relationship. . . .
The Herald on Sunday approached Johnson on Thursday at a restaurant in Christchurch where he had just finished dining with one of the women he had successfully impregnated.
He said the urge to become a biological father was “a need that I have”.
“I am married to the most beautiful woman in the world. When I married her I knew we couldn’t have any more children. She had a hysterectomy 10 years ago.
“There is nothing my wife would want to give me more in the world than a child of my own.”

TMI! TMI! TMI!

We can safely predict that the soon-to-be-ex-politician will be hearing shortly from the lawyer for his soon-to-be-ex-wife. And then he’ll be free to donate sperm to whomever he chooses.

Cain on CNN: ‘In Terms of the Mechanics of the Campaign, Nothing’s Gone Wrong’

Talking to Candy Crowley today on her State of the Union show:

Herman Cain ascribed his recent drop in the polls to false sexual harassment allegations and voter confusion about his positions on abortion and foreign policy, saying Sunday that some of his remarks over the past month had been taken out of context.
“Obviously false accusations and confusion about some of my positions has contributed to it,” Cain said on CNN’s “State of the Union” when asked by host Candy Crowley about his campaign’s flagging poll numbers.
“That was to be expected. In terms of the campaign itself, nothing has gone wrong in terms of our strategy of spending time in New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida,” Cain added. “So in terms of the mechanics of the campaign, nothing’s gone wrong.”
Cain said criticism over his position on abortion and foreign policy matters was fueled largely by comments that were taken out of context, leading to voter confusion.
“Some people are heavily influenced by perception more so than reality,” Cain said. “The good news is most of my supporters have stayed on the Cain train, as we say.”

Speaking of the Cain Train, I just got off the phone with a lady in Northport, Alabama, who is organizing a convoy of Cain volunteers that will be heading to South Carolina in January.

“The media don’t have a clue,” she said, speaking of what the grassroots network of Cain supporters have been doing “under the radar.”

UPDATE: A Cain volunteer created this video and, if you’ll watch closely at the 32-second mark — showing Cain speaking at the Iowa State Fair in August — you might spot an objective journalist in a brown fedora and navy blazer sitting in the front row:

UPDATE II: Here’s video of Cain on CNN:

Alan Colmes calls Cain “incomprehensible,” which leads to the obvious question: Why does Alan Colmes hate black people?

Unfair? Of course. But liberals have been playing that cheap game constantly the past four years, and have thus forfeited the right to complain about “fairness” in political arguments.

Now a Memeorandum thread.

Gators Crushed by Florida GOP Curse and Crimson Tide Defense, But Mainly …

. . . it was the Crimson Tide defense:

The No. 3-ranked Alabama Crimson Tide, down by a touchdown after the first play from scrimmage, found their stride and overwhelmed the No. 12 Gators 38-10 before 90,888 fans, the second-largest attendance in Florida Field history. . . .
The Crimson Tide (5-0, 2-0) defeated the Gators (4-1, 2-1) for the third straight time and have outscored UF 101-29 in those games.
The beatdown became especially costly when UF senior quarterback John Brantley was carried to the locker room with an apparent knee injury after being sacked by Alabama’s Courtney Upshaw late in the second quarter. Brantley, 11-of-16 for 190 yards, was replaced by true freshman Jeff Driskel, who failed to move the Gators past midfield in six drives.

Brantley was one of the top quarterbacks in the nation, and that injury may end his season. Why did this horrible fate befall Brantley and the previously undefeated Gators? You could blame the bone-crushing ‘Bama defense, but I think Floridians should understand that this is an inevitable consequence of the curses brought down on their state by Mike Haridopolos, Dean Cannon and the rest of the GOP leadership.

When the Florida GOP decided to move its primary to Jan. 31 — and ruin Christmas for me and millions of other Americans — I warned my friends in “The Evil State” that they were inviting divine retribution.

They laughed, but they’re not laughing now.

So if that next tropical storm system brewing in the Atlantic turns into a Category 5 hurricane that wipes out Miami, or if the citrus crop gets destroyed by a freak ice storm . . .

Well, don’t say I didn’t try to warn you. And ROLL TIDE!

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