LAS VEGAS, Nevada
Last night at the CNN debate, somebody said, “Hey, have you seen Erik Telford?”
“No, is he here?”
“Yeah. He was on Twitter asking who was coming to Vegas for the Western Republican Leadership Conference.”
Well, I’d been busy covering the debate and hadn’t seen the Twitter message, and by the time I hit my deadline for The American Spectator, the fact that Telford was in town had slipped my mind.
Fast-forward to this morning. I had to go down to the drugstore to buy a razor, and was walking through the lobby of the hotel when a familiar figure walked past me. So I reached out and slugged Telford in the arm.
“Dude, why didn’t you call me?”
“I didn’t know you were in town — until you slugged me in the arm.”
“It wasn’t exactly a secret that I was coming to Vegas,” I said. “But I guess nobody reads my blog.”
“Well,” Telford said. “I figured you wouldn’t get invited.”
“Yeah, I invited myself. Because nobody ever invites me anywhere. Like BlogCon — can you believe Tabitha Hale left me off the list?”
Telford laughed. Because, of course, I’m always left off the list, unlike Stephen Kruiser, Katie Harbath, Cord Blomquist, Peter List, Frank Keegan, Dana Loesch, Larry O’Connor, John Nolte, Meredith Dake, Matthias Shapiro, Will Franklin, Brandon Stewart, Bill Beutler, Michael Sandoval, Ari Armstrong, Todd Shepherd, T.L. James, Kelly Maher, Andrew Malcom, Melissa Clouthier, Michelle Malkin, Steven Crowder, Jim Pethokoukis, Dean Clancy, Max Pappas, Ed Morrissey, Deneen Borelli, Ace of Spades, Kristina Ribali, Russ Walker . . .
Just like Telford didn’t call me when he got to Vegas — because nobody wants to hang out with me, right? — Tabitha didn’t invite me to BlogCon because she wants it to be a fun, exciting event featuring people who are actually important, influential and popular.
In an effort to understand this situation, I mentally envisioned Tabitha’s worldview as a Venn Diagram:

There is no “Set AB,” because these are non-intersecting sets.
Ergo, the very fact that you’re reading my blog means that you are not important and don’t really matter.
UPDATE: Tabitha accuses me of harassment? A historic first: Harassment with Venn Diagrams.
Meanwhile, this might be a good time to remind you that I’ll be speaking Oct. 29 at the Maryland Conservative Action Network’s “Turning the Tides” conference in Annapolis.