The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Marcela Hoeven Bikini Scandal?

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 165 Comments

North Dakota Gov. John Hoeven is 47 points ahead in a Senate campaign that is, by all odds, the closest thing to a surefire pick-up for Republicans this fall. And yet it appears that there are some fiendish Democrats who hope that “family values” conservatives will be horrified to discover that the governor’s daughter Marcela looks good in a bikini:

Three years ago, when a North Dakota political blog reported that Marcela, 23 at the time, had a modeling portfolio online, the photos disappeared the next day.  The existence of this lone remaining photo (posted at a North Dakota State University student forum) was brought to my attention by a source who asked my opinion as a communications professional: Is this a scandal?

Short answer: Of course not.

Conservatives are not only smarter and more patriotic than liberals, we’re also better-looking. It’s high time we stopped letting liberals get inside our heads and tell us that it’s some kind of “hypocrisy” for conservatives even to acknowledge the existence of sex.

Here’s a cluebat for you: Mrs. Other McCain and I have six kids. Do you think that might have something to do with the fact that the missus looked good in a swimsuit, to say nothing of my notorious Speedo? On what planet is that supposed to be a scandal?

Remember when Democrats thought they could take down Scott Brown for his Cosmo centerfold? Remember when Democrats tried to make it a “scandal” that Scott Brown’s daughters wore bikinis? And do you remember how Scott Brown kicked their Democrat butts on Election Day?

It’s 2010, conservatives — this year, we’re taking sexy back.

JOHN HOEVEN for U.S. SENATE

(P.S.: Marcela Hoeven works at First Western Bank & Trust in Minot, N.D., which her family has operated for three generations. So she’s a Republican who looks good in a bikini and can balance a checkbook. What’s not to like about that?)

UPDATE (Smitty): Instalanche! Thanks, Professor Reynolds!

UPDATE II (RSM): Everyone is thoroughly scandalized:

And notice that, although Memeorandum is now listing this shocking scandal, lefty bloggers are trying to ignore it. What’s going on here? Bikini-worthy Cassy Fiano explains:

Liberals always like to act shocked that conservative women can be sexy and conservative. . . .  They like to paint conservatives as frigid, dried up, ugly old prudes, and of course, that couldn’t be further from the truth. . . . They’re always shocked when bikini photos do not, in fact, derail conservative candidates’ campaigns.

Exactly what I’ve been trying to explain to Christine O’Donnell‘s campaign staff, but . . .

UPDATE III: If you’ve ever wondered what John Hoeven’s Democratic opponent looks like in a bikini, you’re obviously in need of psychological counseling.

Speaking of twisted minds, what about Judge Walker’s decision in San Francisco v. Schwarzenegger?

Category: North Dakota, Rule 5, Senate

Illegal Gaylians Meet In Frisco To Form Vast Hermaphrodite, Enjoy Social Services, Feel Green, Blame Bush

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 33 Comments

by Smitty

I, for one, am thankful that our Progressive Overlords, for example, Judge Walker, and Judge Bolton know what’s best for us.

If only their wisdom had prevailed in 1776. We could have kept the pound, the King, and now be enjoying rugby and cricket.

These silly Conservatives need to refrain from restraining the Progressive Golden Age right now!

Category: Farce, Progressivism

Her Wonderful Career

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 40 Comments

OK, so I was sitting in my home office this afternoon and, as usual, CNBC was on the office TV. When I sit at my desk typing, the TV is behind me and off to the right side. It’s usually tuned to CNBC during the day so that by swiveling my chair slightly, I can glance over and catch the latest Dow Jones Industrial Average. When the financial cataclysm hits, I’ll be ready to blog it in real time.

So I was sitting here about 2:30 in the afternoon and CNBC was having a panel discussion about millionaires: How are the ultra-wealthy spending their money? What would be the impact of imposing new taxes on the rich? When I glanced over to check the Dow I saw this person:

Huh? She looks like a teenager. Yet the hosts of the show were treating this impossibly young person as if she were an authoritative source on the habits of the rich. Who could she be?

Some quick Googling determined that Chloe Malle is the daughter of actress Candace Bergen and film director Louis Malle and thus is, so to speak, born and bred for such work.

Honestly, she seems to be an excellent young reporter — here’s a very nice feature she did on zoning wars in the Hamptons, for example. And it is altogether admirable, I suppose, that a third-generation celebrity (her grandfather being the famed ventroloquist Edgar Bergen) is actually working for a living, rather than indulging in the Paris Hilton famous-for-being-famous lifestyle.

Nevertheless, just that morning I had exchanged e-mails with a now-successful writer who explained that, when she once spent a year trying to make it as a young freelancer in New York, the disheartening experience had driven her into a state of clinical depression. And I furthermore thought of some former interns I’d mentored and the difficulties they’ve experienced in their lives and careers. What would Monique Stuart or Deb McCown give for a shot at a job at the New York Observer, or to be featured on national TV at age 25?

Contemplating this, however, eventually led me back to a conclusion I reached long ago about the stupidity of envying people you think of as privileged. Having gotten to know a number of very successful people — attending parties at mansions and interviewing bold-face names — I discovered that the rich and famous aren’t usually the kind of snooty Thurton Howell III stereotypes many people imagine.

Financial success provides comforts and advantages, but most “rich” people work for their money, and deal with the same mundane hassles as anyone else. Hollywood’s portrayal of effete aristocrats indulging in idle luxury, their every whim attended to by butlers and maids and chauffeurs, doesn’t typify the lives of the rich people I personally know.

Envy is the most futile emotion because you can never really see inside the lives of the people you envy. Live long enough and pay close attention, and you’ll find that some people you thought of as having all the luck are, in fact, afflicted with private torment or stoically shouldering a burden that you never imagined. And in the final analysis, envy is ungodly, when we consider that “he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45).

Let the judgment fall on me. Here I was, ready to dismiss Chloe Malle as a posh overprivileged debutante — Riverdale Country School, Brown University, etc. — until I Googled onto a profile of her in the January issue of Vanity Fair and saw this:

Would love to have dinner with: “My parents.”

Chloe’s father died of cancer when she was 10, you see. And in that one little wish — two words on a questionnaire — I caught a tiny glimpse of a human soul that feels real pain from a real loss.

Category: Culture, Economics, Video

Constituent Says Corruption ‘Regular Practice’ in Charlie Rangel’s District

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 28 Comments

Not like there’s any risk he could be voted out of office:

The charges against the 80-year-old Democrat include allegations he traded favors for donations to a program he founded at City College of New York, improperly obtained a rent- stabilized apartment and failed to report income from a Caribbean vacation home.
“In Harlem, he’s not going to be judged on that; that’s a regular practice here,” said Jack Broughton, 38, as he sold T- shirts from a sidewalk table on 125th Street.
Voters will remember how Rangel helped them, Broughton said. “My sister was facing eviction with three kids, and his office made one phone call and got her a place she’s been living at for 15 years,” he said.

The spirit of Tammany Hall lives on.

Category: Charlie Rangel, Corruption, Democrats, New York, Scandal

SHOCKING: W. Va. Man Impregnates 11-Year-Old Girl to Whom He’s Not Related

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 18 Comments

The state that made Robert Byrd the longest-serving senator in U.S. history is back in the news:

A St. Albans man accused of sexually assaulting an 11-year-old girl and impregnating her was in court for a preliminary hearing Friday.
Investigators say the alleged incident happened back in May at Michael Lacy’s apartment. The 11-year-old victim was friends with Lacy’s daughter and spent the night there frequently.
“She indicated she had stayed all night at Michael Lacy’s residence and, at that time, she had intercourse with him,” Kanawha County Sheriff’s Detective Sean Snuffer said. “She stated she had not had sexual intercourse with anybody other than Michael Lacy.”

OK, if you think that’s unbearably disgusting, wait until you hear the accused hillbilly’s defense:

Lacy says he didn’t intentionally sexually assault the girl. He told deputies that it was a case of mistaken identity.
“He stated he woke up with someone kissing his neck while he was lying on the couch. He says he thought it was his wife because his wife often did that to him,” Kanawha County Sheriff’s Cpl. J.M. Launi said. “He admitted to kissing her neck and doing some kind of act. He could not confirm or deny actually having sex with her. He couldn’t remember.”
Lacy blames that memory loss on the fact that he had taken Xanax and Lortab that night. He claims that he was groggy and in and out of sleep.
Launi says that soon after the alleged assault, Lacy realized that it was the girl instead of his wife.
“They both came to the conclusion that they would not tell her parents about it unless she in fact became pregnant,” said Launi.

This kind of thing happens all the time in West Virginia. It’s gotten so bad a hillbilly can’t take some prescription painkillers and get a good night’s sleep without being attacked by these fifth-grade strumpets. This man is a victim, your honor!

Michael Lacy’s arrest could make him unavailable to vote Democrat in November, which may explain why Joe Manchin is no longer considered a shoo-in for Senate.

(Hat-tip: Dan Collins on Twitter.)

UPDATE: Michael Wayne Edwards Jr. was arrested in Maryland, where perversion is somewhat more . . . sophisticated.

Category: Crime, Sex, West Virginia

What’s Dave Weigel Up To?

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 18 Comments

His first article at Slate has a bizarre and complex subject: Democrats are telling him (evidently in all seriousness) that they are afraid Republicans will use the scandals of Maxine Waters and Charles Rangel as a latter-day “Willie Horton” gambit.

Really? I mean, really? If we are to take Weigel’s Democratic sources at face value, they evidently have been shouting “raaaaacist” at Republicans so long that they’ve actually begun to believe it.

Alternative hypothesis: Weigel’s sources are trying to inoculate Democrats against any possible GOP employment of these two glaring ethics cases in campaign ads by preemptively declaring that such ads would constitute evidence of Republican racism.

Either way, it’s interesting, although I don’t think it’s the kind of reporting Weigel does best. He did, however, get in some quotes from a couple of friends:

Ladd Ehlinger Jr., an Alabama political consultant who produced larger-than-life spots for Republican candidates like Dale Peterson and Rick Barber this year, laughs uncontrollably when told that Democrats are even talking about this. “I have advice for Republicans who are too weak-kneed to make hay out of Rangel,” he says. “If anyone starts coming at you about Rangel or any of this stuff, just [say] this is post-racial America. This isn’t about race. It’s about a fat guy lying out in the sun on a beach and not paying his taxes.” . . .
“This is the cry wolf syndrome,” says Breitbart, who will appear at a Republican National Committee fundraiser later this year. “The battle against legitimate racism, which does in fact exist, is suffering from cry wolf syndrome, Mike Nifong syndrome, Spencer Ackerman syndrome.”

Read the rest.

Category: Dave Weigel, Racism

Just Another Deadline

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 19 Comments

“It’s not at all good when your cancer is ‘palpable’ from the outside. Especially when, as at this stage, they didn’t even know where the primary source was. Carcinoma works cunningly from the inside out. Detection and treatment often work more slowly and gropingly, from the outside in. . . . The word ‘metastasized’ was the one in the report that first caught my eye, and ear. The alien had colonized a bit of my lung as well as quite a bit of my lymph node. And its original base of operations was located — had been located for quite some time — in my esophagus. My father had died, and very swiftly, too, of cancer of the esophagus. He was 79. I am 61. In whatever kind of a ‘race’ life may be, I have very abruptly become a finalist. . . . To the dumb question ‘Why me?’ the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply: Why not?”
— Christopher Hitchens, in Vanity Fair

Category: Neutral Objective Journalism

Dear Michelle Malkin

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 15 Comments

Guess who’s coming to Colorado?

DENVER (AP) — Arizona Sen. John McCain is headed to Colorado this weekend to campaign for Republican Senate candidate Jane Norton.
A spokeswoman for Norton says McCain will be in Grand Junction and the Denver suburbs Sunday for fundraisers and public rallies for Norton.

Gee, Mrs. Malkin, we know how much you love that Maverick and his Establishment Republican friends:

In Colorado, McCain and his meddlers infuriated the state party by anointing former lieutenant governor Jane Norton to challenge endangered Democrat Sen. Michael Bennet. She’s a milquetoast public official who has served on a lot of task forces and GOP clubs – and who happens to be the sister-in-law of big Beltway insider Charlie Black. . . .
The mini-McCain of Colorado claims to oppose “special interests,” but has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars from D.C. lobbyists at McCain’s behest – stifling the candidacy of strong conservative rivals led by grass-roots-supported Weld County District Attorney Ken Buck, an amnesty opponent whose aggressive illegal immigration prosecutions have earned him the rage of the far Left and big business Right.

So I’m sure you’ll want to roll out the red carpet for Senator Shamnesty when he visits Colorado, Mrs. Malkin.

Perhaps you should organize some sort of informal reception for your distinguished guest. Perhaps — oh, I don’t know — something like a Sunday Tea Party?

KEN BUCK for U.S. SENATE

Category: Colorado, John McCain, Michelle Malkin, Senate, Tea Party
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