David Brooks Advocates the Total Wussification of American Men

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Revenge of the wuss:

The gap between the male and female unemployment rates has reached its highest level since the government began keeping such records. . . .
[L]ast November nearly a fifth of all men between 25 and 54 did not have jobs, the highest figure since the labor bureau began counting in 1948. . . .
For decades, men have adapted poorly to the shifting demands of the service economy. Now they are paying the price. . . .
First, we need to redefine masculinity, creating an image that encourages teenage boys to stay in school and older men to pursue service jobs. Evangelical churches have done a lot to show how manly men can still be nurturing. Obviously, more needs to be done, and schools need to be more boy-friendly. . . .

Oh, great. You hear that, guys? If you’re out of a job, it’s your fault. But don’t worry: You’re all going to get jobs as “nuturing counselors” and Starbucks clerks.

The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU: IX. Re-education

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by Smitty (INTRODUCTION)

Retainers whisked the dozen to a long, narrow meeting room with a glass side facing Lake Totenkopf with a low table.

The squid in the fish bowl surveyed the room, making thoughtful rippling motions. No one wanted to pay attention to it, so they sat on their various torture chairs and paid even more attention to the speaker.
Having described the military, economic, and informational means by which the existing world governments would be ground down, the topic turned to the reeducation of humanity along improved lines.

“We have in our service persons of all opinions, of all doctrines, restorating monarchists, demagogues, socialists, communists, and utopian dreamers of every kind.

…

Division into fractional parties has given the into our hands, for, in order to carry on a contested struggle, one must have money, and the money is all in our hands.

…

We have got our hands into the administration of the law, into the conduct of elections, into the press, into the liberty of the person, but principally into education and training as being the corner stones of a free existence.
We have fooled, bemused and corrupted the youth of the [proletariat] by rearing them in principles and theories which are known to us to be false although it is by us that they have been inculcated.

Anthropogenic global warming, for example, has been a minor setback. That some twitch of conscience led to the disclosure, and some dying embers of leadership exist online is merely an annoyance.
The public figures whom we’ve lauded and awarded have lately been rendered more useless than usual, due to the weather. No matter. Our fell purpose both predated and shall survive them.”

Navigation:

Stimulus Jobs: ‘Saved or Created’ or Imagined?

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We’re paying them to pretend they’re creating jobs:

Though unemployment is at 9.7 percent, and just six percent of Americans think the government has created jobs, President Barack Obama will hold a White House reception on Wednesday to mark the one-year anniversary of signing the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, better known as the economic stimulus bill.
Meanwhile, administration officials, including Vice President Joe Biden and cabinet secretaries, will travel to 35 locations across the country this week to promote the $787 stimulus, which was designed to revive the economy – a reported $272 billion of the $787 billion has been spent since the bill became law in February 2009.
Administration officials have insisted that the legislation is on course to “save or create” 3 million jobs. However, more than 2.65 million jobs have been lost since the passage of the legislation, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics . . .

Meanwhile, 52% of Americans say Obama doesn’t deserve re-election, which means that 48% of Americans need to be whomped upside the head.

Is Fabius Maximus a Congressman?

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by Smitty

Fabius Maximus has always been a blog to trigger thought. I suspect it’s a gang blog, with a group of academics driving the posting. The blog has been an equal opportunity offender, handing out well-researched drubbings in every direction. This post raises a speculation about the author, emphasis mine:

So the recovery must appear by March or April, the last opportunity for Congress to enact another round of stimulus programs. If no strong recovery, it will be a depression for Congressmen (in a recession you lose your job; in a depression I lose my job).

But conservatives have convinced a substantial fraction of the American people that stimulus programs do not work. That’s like a stroke victim demanding that his respirator be turned off (or parents refusing to have their children vaccinated).

First question: is Fabius a sitting member of Congress? Meh. I think the I/you are figurative here.
Second question: is Fabius in a lefty mood, with the bit about the respirator? Wouldn’t an improved variant be “…stroke victim demanding that the quack doctor quit giving him the medicine from the bottle marked X-X-X that is causing the strokes?”
Third question: is Fabius really Billy Squire?

Movie Star Robert Pattinson Is a Horrible Hatemongering Vaginaphobe

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OK, so Details magazine arranges a photo shoot (NSFW) of the Twilight star surrounded by naked fashion models. His reaction?

“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared.”

Five or six hours surrounded by beautiful naked women. And he “wasn’t exactly prepared”?

Dude.

Why Is Bob Belvedere Monopolizing All the Christina Hendricks Hotness Today?

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He’s bogarting all the blog action on the redheaded Mad Men bombshell in lacy lingerie.

And nothing can compete with that, not even redheaded Victoria’s Secret model Cintia Dicker in a bikini. She’s cute, but too skinny to compete with those bodacious Christina Hendricks curves.

UPDATE: You want to talk about “targeted marketing”? Look what just arrived in my inbox today:

Dear Mr McCain
I am writing to you to ask for your support for The Great British Redhead Festival, which will take place on 10th April, this year.
This will be the first ever UK national celebration of all things redhead/ gingerish/ auburn/ strawberry-blonde and carrot-top. We have had some good publicity in the newspaper media, this week, which has brought considerable interest. For convenience, I include the links as follows:

We anticipate media interest will be self-generating over the next two months and this would be a great if you felt you could be linked with this new and unique national dynamic ginger event.
It is a free event, no-one is being paid, and essentially it is just a fun day to make a light-hearted celebration of all things gingerish. There is no political angle, no bureaucrats and nobody taking offence at being called ginger.
A similar event in Holland, last year, attracted thirteen thousand visitors of which three thousand were genuine redheads. It also attracted considerable worldwide media coverage.
We would be delighted if you could support our event.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Richard Simpson
The Great British Redhead Festival

OK, how many of you guys will hit the tip jar to send me to cover that historic occasion? C’mon, we’re talking about professional journalism here . . .