Schwarzenegger Shagged Her: Arnold Fathered Child With Household Staffer

Cook? Nanny? Housekeeper? No details, but (a) she was married, and (b) the kid is at least 10 years old:

Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, separated after she learned he had fathered a child more than a decade ago — before his first run for office — with a longtime member of their household staff. . . .
To protect their privacy, The Times is not publishing the former staffer’s name nor that of her child.

This kinda explains the divorce, eh?

(Via Memeorandum.)

UPDATE: The Sperminator.

LIVE AT FIVE – 05.17.11

TOP NEWS
Fight For IMF Top Job Goes Global

Another Eurocrat, or will PRC have something to say about it?

Emerging economies want a shot at the top as Strauss-Kahn languishes at Riker’s Island on rape accusations






Kerry: Pakistan To Return Tail To US
Other promising moves to mend strained relations to follow

Bombs Defused In Ireland Before Queen’s Historic Visit
First visit by a British monarch since King George V in 1911



POLITICS
Romney Holds Day-Long Event To Demonstrate Fundraising Prowess

Dialing for dollars in Vegas

Mitt Romney works the phones in Vegas

California Deficit Falls Under $10 Billion, Brown Claims





Sen. Toomey Decries “Scare Tactics” On Debt Limit, Demands Spending Cuts

Environmental Groups Question Obama’s Forestry Plan

Ryan Strikes Back At Gingrich Criticism Of Medicare Plan



THE ECONOMY, STUPID
BP’s Arctic Oil Deal With Rosneft Collapses
Euro Gains For Second Day Against Yen As Portugal Bailout Approved
Paulson Takes $1 Billion Hewlett-Packard Stake, Increases Gold Bet
NASDAQ Withdraws Bid For NYSE
Sony Unveils PSN “Welcome Back” Package
RIM Nears Two-Year Low After Playbook Recall
Facebook Chat To Be Part Of Windows Phones



SPORTS
Yankees’ Damage Control Gives Way To Sixth Loss In A Row

AJ Burnett leaves the mound after blowing a five-run lead against the Rays

Veteran players not getting it done

NFL Owners Win Appeal, Lockout Is Back On

Tribe Gives Mazzaro, KC Royal Beating, 19-1

Gonzalez, Red Sox Rally For Six Runs, Upset O’s 8-7

Dodgers Scoring Woes Continue

A’s Edge Angels In 10th

Two Mets Hurlers Undergo Surgery, Wright Out With Stress Fracture Of Back



FAMOUS FOR BEING FAMOUS
The Dream Life Of Penelope Cruz

The Ricky to Johnny Depp's Lucy?

Penelope Cruz. In Vogue. With a slideshow.

“Belligerent” Lohan In Nightclub Ruckus?

Botox Mom Loses Custody Of Daughter



Seth McFarlane Gets Green Light For “Flintstones” Reboot

Ed Harris To Play Crazy Cousin John In HBO’s “Game Change”

Britney Spears Is Back: The Harper’s Bazaar Interview



FOREIGNERS
New Explosions Rattle Tripoli As Prosecutors Seek Qaddafi’s Arrest
Netanyahu Sees Growing Arab Threat
Belarus Opposition Leader Gets Five Years
Jury Selection Continues In Mumbai Terror Trial
Police In Guatemala Capture Suspects In Massacre



BLOGS & STUFF
Michelle Malkin: Trump Fires Self; Good Riddance
Allahpundit: The Rebuke In Dubuque – “Get Out Now Before You Make A Bigger Fool Of Yourself”
National Review: Ryan’s Mediscare Rebuttal
Cold Fury: Pin The Tail On The Radical
Lonely Conservative: Tea Party Express Endorses Corwin In NY-26, Slams Davis As Fake
Legal Insurrection: Kloppenburg Digs In Deeper
Ed Morrissey: Fox To Cancel “America’s Most Wanted”?
PJ Tatler: Look How Stupid Steve Israel (D-NY) Is

— compiled by Wombat-socho

Go, Willow, Go!

Ever on the lookout for the latest Palin scandal, TMZ reports that 16-year-old Willow Palin was clocked doing 84 mph in a 65-mph zone. And I just want to say, “Hell, yeah. You go, girl!”

It’s obviously hereditary. Willow’s dad is a championship snow-machine racer, so she gets it honest. And I can totally relate, because my granddaddy ran some ‘shine down in Alabama back in the day. Ask anyone who has ever ridden with me: I was born with that hillbilly NASCAR go-fast gene.

Eighty-four miles an hour? That ain’t even what I call “fast.” I hit 84 mph between here and the corner store. During the famous NY-23 campaign in 2009, Republican consultant Ali Akbar took a few rides with me. Ask him what that was like.

But one thing Willow — 84 mph in an SUV?

Uh-uh. The center of gravity is too high, and it’s unstable in tight curves. To drive safely at high speed, what you want is something low to the ground, like maybe a brand-new Ford Mustang.

“Daddy, I need a new Mustang. Don’t you want me to be safe?”

Also, a radar detector. Call it an “investment.”

Don’t Overthink It, Byron

Byron York has a wonderful interview with Herman Cain, keying off the South Carolina debate:

Republican pollster Frank Luntz conducted a focus group on Fox News and found near-unanimous agreement that Cain was the winner. “I’ve done maybe 35 or 40 of these debates for Fox, and I’ve never had this kind of reaction,” Luntz said. “Something very special happened this evening.”
Many political insiders viewed the debate mostly as an opportunity for former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty to move up into the first tier of GOP candidates. Instead, people left Greenville’s Peace Center talking about Herman Cain — a result that few participants, including Cain himself, could have predicted.

Well, I may not be one of those “political insiders,” but having predicted Cain’s South Carolina debate victory in advance, I’m surprised that Byron York didn’t give me a call to say, “Stacy, how did you know? What is the secret of your insightful prescience?”

Never mind the un-asked questions, however. Byron then whips out the Rorshach inblot analysis:

A mostly unspoken but possibly consequential factor in Cain’s appeal to conservative voters is his race. Cain is a black Republican — a pretty rare thing in itself — seeking to challenge the nation’s first black president. . . .
[M]any Republicans have internalized the Democratic/liberal criticism that they oppose Obama because he is black and that whenever they attack the president on this or that issue, the real motivation behind it is race. Herman Cain, they believe, could take it to Obama without all that racial baggage.

Byron, you’re thinking too hard, man. Leave the psychobabble to the liberals, who specialize in that kind of stuff.

People like Herman Cain because — wait for it — they like Herman Cain.

He’s an immensely likeable guy, as was obvious to anyone hanging around the lobby bar before CPAC:

After Cain arrived last night, he was quickly surrounded by CPAC attendees eager to shake his hand and get their photos taken with the guy I introduced to my friends as The Next President of the United States.

You don’t have to be a “political insider” or a Ph.D. psychologist to see that kind of stuff. Ordinary Americans don’t think like intellectuals think, which is why the alleged experts are so often mystified by simple phenomena. (Basic economics, for example. Paul Krugman’s got a Nobel Prize and still can’t figure out why Keynesianism doesn’t work.)

If we have to “go there” with the race issue, I like what Andrew Breitbart said in his Heritage Foundation speech:

Breitbart . . . wants radio host Herman Cain and Freshman Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) on the 2012 GOP ticket. . . .
“The only way to defeat political correctness and cultural marxism and multiculturalism is to aim straight at its head,” Breitbart said.

The beauty of the Breitbart approach is that liberals see a quote like that and say to themselves, “Give me a break. They wouldn’t actually do that, would they?”

Because it’s too damned simple. It’s like the fullback dive on fourth-and-goal. But the fullback dive is the perfect play, if you have confidence in your team. Forget the razzle-dazzle — just give the ball to the fullback and run it right at ’em.

There’s no point worrying about the psychological symbolism of a Cain candidacy when you consider the likely alternative. What all the clever GOP pundits like Charles Krauthammer want to do is to re-run the Bob Dole ’96 campaign: Find some bland non-entity, hire a bunch of speechwriters and consultants, and run a boring, predictable campaign that ends in defeat so that, four years later, Republicans nominate somebody named “Bush.”

Screw that noise. Here’s what I wrote on Nov. 13, 2010:

[I]f you want a successful businessman for the 2012 GOP nomination, how about a dark horse? . . .
Yeah: Herman Cain. Having backed a few can’t-possibly-win underdogs in the past couple of years — I went all-in for Rubio when he was 35 points down — I’m taking a long, hard look at that dark horse.

People thought I was crazy. Mainly because I am crazy, but sometimes the smartest move you can make is to do something that everybody else says is crazy. Now here we are, six months later: Herman Cain won the first big GOP debate, he’s got Andrew Breitbart in his corner, and Byron York is making the pilgrimage to Atlanta to interview the candidate that none of the experts thought would be a major factor in 2012.

Somebody ought to hit the hell out of my tip jar. This kind of insightful prescience has got to be worth something.

IMF Director: French Socialist Pervert

But I repeat myself:

Tristane Banon was in her 20s and writing a book when she approached Strauss-Kahn for an interview in 2002. In a TV programme in 2007, in which Strauss-Kahn’s name had been bleeped out, Banon allegedly described him as a “rutting chimpanzee” and described how she was forced to fight him off. “It finished badly … very violently … I kicked him,” Banon said. “When we were fighting, I mentioned the word ‘rape’ to make him afraid, but it didn’t have any effect. I managed to get out.”
Banon consulted a lawyer, but did not press charges. “I didn’t want to be known to the end of my days as the girl who had a problem with the politician.”
Banon’s mother, Anne Mansouret, told journalists on Sunday night she had dissuaded her daughter from legal action because she believed Strauss-Kahn’s behaviour had been out of character and because of close links with his family. “Today I am sorry to have discouraged my daughter from complaining. I bear a heavy responsibility,” she said. . . .

Recalling my high-school French, I believe the word is incroyable.

So the IMF boss Strauss-Kahn attempted to rape a journalist who wanted to interview him, and the journalist’s mother — who is, perhaps not coincidentally, a Socialist Party official — helped keep her own daughter’s attacker out of jail! (Ceci ajoute le nouveau lustre à la réputation française pour la collaboration, oui?) Strauss-Kahn may have gotten so used to that kind of treatment in France that he expected it everywhere, but a New York City hotel maid called the cops, and thus provided us with a scene we’d all like to see more often: Perp-walks for socialists!

UPDATE: ABC News has some lurid new details from the arraignment hearing. BTW, did you know that perp-walks are illegal in France? It’s true. It’s also true that the two things the French do best are surrender and sodomy.

PREVIOUSLY: Frenchman Shocked to Discover It’s Illegal to Sodomize Your Hotel Maid in U.S.

About Today’s FMJRA Award

You might notice that the Full Metal Jacket Reach-Around Award is currently allocated to “Steve Eggleston, Irresistible Sex God of the Innerwebs.”

A technical problem developed on the site this morning and Steve said he knew how to fix it. Helpful assistance was also offered by Jimmie “The Awesomeness” Bise. Given that the Pentagon has seen fit to deploy blog sidekick Smitty to Crappybandwithistan, this WordPress functionality savvy was greatly appreciated.

So in addition to owing these dudes lots of beers, I also feel obliged to link them like a mofo. You should go hit their tip jars immediately.

Her Name Was Simona Rudina …

Tel Aviv, June 10, 2001 (Photo by IDF)

. . . and she was just 17 years old. Simona was born in Lithuania, when that nation was still under the heel of Soviet despotism. When she was 3 years old, her family emigrated to Israel.

On the evening of June 10, 2001, Simona and some friends wanted to attend a dance party for young emigres from the former Soviet Union. As her father later explained, Simona and her friends hadn’t gone to the Tel Aviv beach in three months, because of the wave of Palestinian terrorism known as the Second Intifada. “With all the terrorist attacks, they were not comfortable walking along the seashore,” he said.

However, Simona had just passed a literature test with a high score — a cause for celebration — and so her father didn’t object to her going with her friends to visit a beachfront dance club popular with teens. “They tried on a whole pile of clothes, and finally Simona settled on Rita’s one-sleeved black blouse with sequins, and matching black pants,” her father recalled.

You may have noticed I’m speaking of Simona Rudina in the past tense. Go ahead and Google her name and you’ll find out why. Continue reading Her Name Was Simona Rudina … →